We want to try anal, but it hurts, a lot! Help

Ive had anal from other men, but that was years ago and they were much smaller then my current boyfriend. Now he wants to do it and I want to do it for him but he's so big and it hurts. I can take the tip but it feels like he's tearing me in half. I've tried it drunk to relax, I've done it sober and relaxed, we have tried different lubes and positions but it still really hurts. I would love to do this for him, he likes it so much, but I just can't get past the first bit of pain. Anyone know any ideas, any advise would help!


Most Helpful Guy

  • lube up and take it SLOOOW. when it starts to hurt, hold it there until it doesn't, then slowly proceed.

    You can also try adding a drop of liquid oral jel to your bum to numb it a little, but I'm not sure how well that works since it's just what I've heard and never had to try... being 4 inches has it's upsie :)


What Guys Said 6

  • Get a butt plug or series of plugs of increasing sizes to put inside your ass for a couple of hours before you want to do anal. And lots of lube.

  • Play with toys like anal beads, so that you'll slowly become less and less sensitive.

  • basically, you need to refrain from having sex untill your comfortable with a finger or two in there. Take your time very slowly, use toys and also some lubes will feel like a slight burning feeling I've been told, so try different ones. When you do try to have sex, you need to tell him to not move at all for the beginning and you have to do all the movement. Work your way up slowly with patience and if still hurts despite that, maybe you just have to give it up completely.

  • i can understand you guy! some of us really enjoy it ;) that will look silly but why don't you try in the shower with body lotion? or even put some oil in your ass then after a while of pain you'll get used to it :D

  • Read "The Story Of O"

    if you want to do it that badly, you may have to resort to graduated buttplugs to train yourself to accomodate him.


What Girls Said 4

  • Don't just go straight into sex. It will hurt. Work your way up to that. Start with a finger or small anal vibes/plugs and slowly make your way to the larger ones. It will also hurt if you expect it to hurt because you'll tense up in anticipation. Using a large amount of lube should help immensely as well.

  • anal can be pretty dangerous and if you do it a lot it can effect your muscle tightness down there, so be careful

    me personally? I would never have anal

    • ya rite, you say that now. untill your at the bar till 230 am, your drunk as f*** and your boyfriend takes you back to his place, your not sure what's going on completely and you start having sex, then as a joke he rams your ass. I'm sure you can figure out how the rest goes ;) (and its not you turning around and slapping him, remember your drunk as can be)

    • Show All
    • Nate, what a jerk.

      I know lots of woman who love it and some who don't and I can tell you that I don't know one woman who wouldn't freak if some guy just jabbed it in and started doing it. If really hurts. So from the sounds of what you said, you don't realize that your prostate is in your ass and most men get off pretty hard and quick when its stimulated. So why don't you take your coment, lube it up nice and good, shove it up your bum and leave my girl Koolaid alone!

    • haha thnx :)

  • Use toys first, don't just go from 1 finger to penis. Lots of lube, try a bit of sex with a butt plug in then a bigger plug then penis. And more lube every time you change. Works for me and my guy is 8"

  • Lube is very necessary. Let him put it in once, then tell him to take it out. Give your butt a break for a few seconds, then ask him to put it in again. The pain isn't that bad the second time.