Sexual tension and why does it happen?

[Anonymous]

This is for Guy's and girls. I'm very attracted to a man and I fantasize about him all the time. I'm not someone that just has sex with anyone although I wish I was. I know he is attracted to me but we are both very uncomfortable around each other. It's to the point were we can't even be normal and just be friendly. I am shy but very open and engage very well with everyone so why can't I just have a normal relationship with him even if it just leads to a nice friendship. I've been married and had several lovers but I've never been so sexually attracted to any of my ex's not even my ex husband. Has anyone experience this before and how did you handle it? Please don't tell me to ask him out so we could do our thing. This is someone I see everyday so we do have to remain professional. The tension between us is so strong that it is not allowing us to just enjoy each others company. How can stop the tension so I can build a friendship and just enjoy the person.

[GIRLZ2]

You see one another every day and find one another physically attractive. You may not be emotionally attracted or connected to one another. Find out what the situation with the guy is. Maybe he's had a rocky past and is not ready for something. If this guy really likes you which he sounds like he does, he is either shy to ask you out, or knows its just a physical attraction and nothing more and doesn't want to mess up the work relationship. You have to respect him for that and just take the flattery for what it is and know you deserve the whole package.

You really have to understand what you are getting yourself into if you take the situation further. If something does happen to both of you, lets say at a happy hour after a few drinks, you need to understand that it may be a one time thing. You may like it, you may find that you don't like him after all. Or maybe you will like him, but he finds that he doesn't like you. That is where the risk is and how you would truly handle yourself seeing him every day at work if it doesn't work out the way you want it to. Maybe attend a company after work function and see how he interacts with you or some of the other people in the office. See if you can go in a group to lunch and see if you can break the ice. Seeing him after work is also a plus because you won't see him in that "professional" matter with a suit and tie. Everyone is different once they step away from the office.

Find out where your heart is and what you are truly looking for and hopefully you are on both the same page. If you really find out he is not a nice guy or it doesn't work out, do your best to get out there and date other men. That is the best cure to get over a man especially one you see every day. Best wishes!

[twiggebitch]

MASTURBATE OR SOMETHING. THAT'LL RELEASE THE BEAST... GET UR HEAD OUT OF THE GUTTER.

[Asker]

That's only a temporary fix.

[twiggebitch]

WELL THEN GET UR HEAD OUT OF THE GUTTER

[Asker]

lol

[Asker]

Pray for me :D

[twiggebitch]

U SHOULD PRAY FOR URSELF IT COUNTS FOR MORE

[Asker]

ok.

[nate18]

what you have to do is go get a crane. then you take the roof off, you take the biggest straps you can find and you warp that f***ing elephant up and lift that bastard out of that little tiny room your in with your friend. you have to assess why you have an elephant in the room in the first place and then confront it, no matter how hard it may be. at the very least you should be respected for being so courageous. I find that when I just blow the lid off the situation and spill the beans it usually works out, we all know what we want in the end and can work from there.

[Asker]

I wish I had a crane so I can lift your ass out of here!

[nate18]

ouch.

[l-hedoniste]

Honesty will release the tension. Maybe it's an honest "It would be great but we can't do this" or an honest "let's f*ck until we pass out", but it has to be an honest *something*. Right now, you're walking around a HUGE elephant in the room, and the relationship will stay awkward until you address it.

[Asker]

I hate that damn elephant! :P

[l-hedoniste]

Throw him out, then. Clear the air.

[Asker]

I know your right I just don't know how or even if I should. There are somethings that are bothering me. In the beginning he made me feel a little uncomfortable because he was always staring and I wasn't attracted to him because of it. FF to now his behavior has changed completely. He no longer stares, has has made lots makes eye contact. Now he just glances and then looks away. He seems uncomfortable around me. I don't know what to think.

[l-hedoniste]

So ask him. These questions you have, he can answer them. "You don't look at me like you used to." What guy hasn't heard that before?