My boyfriend and I want to have sex for the first time. but I'm scared help?

My boyfriend and I are going to take the 'next step' in our relationship. I want to but I'm afraid of ssomething going wrong. help?

 

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What Girls Said 19

What Guys Said 7

  • Thats a sign that you are not ready to have sex and if he respects you he might be a little disappointed but he'll have to understand you're not prepared for it and if it counts for anything you have respect from me to admit that you're scared and didn't do it anyways you're smart.

  • If you are afraid at all of anything beside pregnancy (which you always should be unless you want children right now) then there is no reason to start. When you start, you want to be worry free and in love.


    Make sure he isn't pushing you to this decision. Make sure YOU want this as much as him. If he's threatening breakup or whatever, he is not worth it.

  • awwww

  • well I say if your responsible enough to have sex then your responsible enough to have a baby consider tht next time your behind closed doors with him.. hope this helps

  • Sex is a bit step in the relationship. You can't plan sex it happens naturally. Only go through with it if you think your ready. Think to yourself, have I been out with this boy long enough to take the risk of having sex? Do I trust him? ect.. DONT let him force you 2 have sex with him. If he loves you he would understand. good luck :)

  • aww you shouldn't wry if he truly cares for you he won't go

  • Before you take any decisions stop and ask yourself a question. Is it really what you want to do? because if you afraid that something can go wrong it might be because you are already having problems and you know the relationship isn't going to last long. if is not worth it, don't do it.

  • Sweetie don't just think that you're ready, you might be but it can't be forced, if you want to make love to some than it needs to just happen, not to say that you shouldn't prepare a little, but let it come naturally because right now I'm pretty sure you would end up regretting it.

  • Don't do it, girl. BUY a chastity strap NOW, LOCK it on and WEAR it. Give him hand relief occasionally but keep him waiting for the real deal.

  • You do not sound like someone who is ready for the next step yet. The best thing about all of it is that there is nothing wrong feeling like this. Relax, have fun, and save the sex for when you are ready and your body will let you know when that time comes. If your boyfriend is the guy you think he is or want him to be, he will stand by your decision and continue loving you and having fun with you minus the sex. He won't bring it up and throw it in your face later either.

  • what's there to be afraid of?

    if you trust him and you feel comfortable with him, then do it.

    its better you do it with him for your first time then some random ass guy, trust me.

  • i lost mine this summer. I was scared out of my mind but he was so sweet and the whole time he took it slow and was just like "are you okay?" don't worry that something will go wrong just keep in mind that you should truly love whomever you're with.

  • What could go wrong? I don't really get what you're afraid of but if you're freaked out don't have sex. You won't be scared when you're ready.

  • dont plan a specific day/night to do it, let it happen by itself, good luck

  • There is no harm if you do it slowly. Do lot of foreplay and tel him to usd a condom. And do everything very slowly because its your 1st time

  • Use a condom, use lube, lots of foreplay, go slow and you'll be okay.

  • If your afraid don't do it you don't want to be dirty :)

  • I completely understand where you're coming from, this might sound really dumb but there was a guy who I almost slept with and I wanted to but I had that save nervous feeling about it and I got to thinking about it and the guy I was thinking about doing it with, I just didn't trust him; not the being naked in front of him part but if something went wrong I didn't trust him to be there for me and I didn't trust that he would be mature enough about anything that went wrong. There are other guys that I trust 100% so I would totally sleep with them if they were my boyfriend. You see what I'm saying? So if you feel ready to have sex and you really trust him to take care of you and be there for you in the chance that...Well you get pregnant...Then go for it, I think it's normal to be nervous the first time.

  • I`m not sure what to tell you other than you should make sure that this guy is someone you want to remember for the rest of your life. The 1st guy I ever slept with is completely forgettable but I remember him simply because he was my first. I remember everything about that night. In retrospect he wasn't even my type of guy and I wasn't really in love or much like with him at all but after we had sex like the emotions that ran through me for him I was not prepared for. So I don't think your question should be will something go wrong because chances are you`ll be fine in the long run. I would just be 110% positive your ready for the emotions and connection your going to feel for him for the rest of your life. Oh and for goodness sake use protection because I know while the show is really cool reality is so uncool on so many levels of ridiculous.

  • Selected as most helpful

    PLEASE READ THIS REPLY.


    If you are SCARED to lose your virginity at this point in your life, or you scared something will go wrong, don't have sex. You should be excited and happy the first time you have sex. You'll regret your first time if its filled with tension and nervousness. If he really loves you he won't ask. If he understands then he's a keeper.

    • also, even if you enjoy it

      you will look back at the experience and regret it for the rest of your life

    • Bst Answer!

    • I'd say already best answer! and to the ASKER: if you are scared than it will end up you not enjoying the sex, which will lead to pain!

  • Something going wrong... I mean for all your know he's a got a rabid alligator in there waiting to wear your labia as earings. Haha no I'm just f***ing with ya, it's perfectly normal to be afraid for the first time. Just take it very slowly (make sure he understands that...slooowly) and use plenty of lube and it should be all good. It'll hurt for the first time, but just take it easy and have some fun.

  • don't worry just relax and enjoy the moment.

  • being a little scared can be fun and exciting. of course you're gonna be nervous because its your 1st time. just make sure you're doing it for all the right reasons and not because you "think" you need to.

  • Just do NOT plan a "I-lose-my-virginity-evening or -day"

    Let it happen gradually, doing more and more , gradually discovering and exploring each others' mind and body, pushing limits over a period that can take months:

    Making out, then light fingering, oral, heavy fingering, until you're completely familiar with the other one's body and reactions, likes and dislikes, limits.


    Then one day, unplanned, when you're both really in the mood, both relaxed, really wanting and horny, on birth control and using condoms, Morning After Pill ready in a drawer (in case of a Friday evening accident-accidents happen on Friday evenings before a long Easter weekend, all pharmacies closed-Murphy's Law) and no one possibly disturbing you (switch off those cell phones!) then softly go all the way: 1 finger, 2 fingers (3= girth of the penis) Just that little bit more than the evening or week before.


    It will probably not hurt that way.

    The first time will not be fantastic but the next times will be.


    Success!


  • If you are afraid or nervous... You are probably not ready. Tell him how you feel. He should understand if he really loves you. You can talk about it and maybe find a way to make you comfortable and enjoy it.

  • I think it's pretty natural to be afraid of something going wrong, being shy about it, or maybe even being scared of what he will think of you when you are naked. If you are afraid, just tell him, he should understand.

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