Guys..why do some of you like to choke (slightly) a girl during sex?

[Anonymous]

my guys does it and pulls my hair which I love usually right before he comes. he's very gentle and because he's gentle I don't mind it or would've told him if I didn't. just wondering why some guys like to choke the girl a little?

[Koi38]

Ok so I started this war. I gently hold my man around his neck (no pressure) when we're in missionary position with his back elevated. It my way of telling him, "Yes I love what you're doing to me, give me more"

But today he puts his hands on my neck and he was actually choking me. The more he saw my reaction, the more excited he became and the tighter his grip was. Admittedly, it scared me and while he was doing it, I started to wonder if he was
trying to hurt me. Stupidly, I didn't say anything, as he stopped after about 30 secs. I'm not sure I trust him enough for this

[ccfighter76]

I agree with the chic above. Was choked for the first time recently and have been in this relationship for 3 years. Found it erotic yet trusted him that he wouldn't go to far.

[Elle0214]

I like it, its hot. Its actually my fetish (the fear of being raped) but with someone you love. :D anyway. Its a dominance thing and a feeling of empowerment.

[ilovelegs]

Unless they know their girl likes that kind of rough play and likes their guy to be dominant like that, those kind of guys probably do that because they know she is a short term girl for them. Like to them it's fun to kinda choke them and get them gagging and any girl that takes that is about as low as you can get. They're just getting their rocks off and the more they can humiliate the girl the better. It like makes them feel big, strong and proud of their manhood to know they got a girl to take that shit and they have no respect for a girl that does. .

[Asker]

I see your point but my guy knows I love it and we get rough but it doesn't mean at all that he's humiliating me I don't think, he treats me well otherwise. if he didn't treat me well otherwise than I would definitely see it your way.

[ilovelegs]

Ok good, and thanks for your comment but you asked that question like you didn't know for sure why he liked doing that, so be aware of what I said. Most usually in a normal loving relationship, guys don't do that to girls they really love. How long have you been dating him or lived with him?

[Kmaggie]

Ouch, that's really harsh.

[Kmaggie]

So you're saying if a guy light chokes, it is a sign he doesn't respect you and thinks your trash?

[ilovelegs]

@Kmaggie If she's using how she said, "he likes to choke her (slightly) when they're having sex" as if he was playing around and both are having fun, then no it's not a sign that he doesn't respect the girl. But I assumed that since she asked that question on here she was a little concerned about that and wondered what everyone thought. Choking anyone isn't a fun game to laugh and play. That some time starts out light and ends up getting rougher and rougher to get the girl to respond more. I said why guys like to do that in my answer because I don't think that's a good game to be playing while having sex. If a girl needs that to get excitement out of that act with that guy then something is wrong because a guy will soon get tired of doing that and think that's kinda odd that she likes having that done to her. That starts to enter the room of wanting to inflict pain while having sex. If that's what they both want then go for it, but if the girl is asking on here, then I say end it.

[ilovelegs]

I did start out my opinion with saying "Unless they know their girl likes that kind of rough play and likes their guy to be dominant like that" so that's the key. If your guy knows you love it then you're getting what you love. But generally speaking, that's not something most girls enjoy while having sex. Also, you can classify that as something you love now but it'll be something that will get out of hand and/or the guy will someday do it harder than you like. Choking isn't sex play or something you should continue doing unless you can both laugh at it after he does it. It's something that'll have to be done progressively rougher in order for you to get the same excitement.

[TexasBaby25]

I don’t agree with this response at all. I personally love it and my last 2 boyfriends both did this and they are complete opposites lol. One was a goody-goody, preppy accountant... and the other is a very loving and sweet beta tester for software programs. I was with my ex for 4 years and have been with my current boyfriend for almost 2.5. It is done very lightly when he’s on top and I think they just like the feeling of dominance. My ex is an awesome guy (we don’t hang out as friends but i don’t have a bad thing to say about him) and my boyfriend is amazing. And this act during sex doesn’t reflect or define our relationship one bit. Oh and when I smile while my boyfriend does it, it nearly sets him off within seconds every time. And if you “google" choking during sex, you’ll see how many people love it with all the links that pop up. None of us (my ex, my boyfriend or I) are “kinky” in a weird way other than this. I’m a family law paralegal and we are all very normal people lol.

[Rastapasta876]

Yea with all due respect, thats BS579. Some men... many men, like to feel dominant. In my culture, men are expected to "wear the pants" at all times, especially during sex. Sometimes when its sex time, there are lighter more sensual touchy feely days and there are also "come here gyal n get some hard fuck" days. Putting their hand around our neck is about control. Theyte thinking "im fucking her tight little hole, i have her delicate little neck in my hand..." it makes them feel powerful. It doesn't mean u are their dishrag. People like weird stuff during sex. The way he really feels about u will be demonstrated OUTSIDE the bedroom.

[Owned40]

Im guess you're young and have something of Madonna/whore take on sex. I've been with my guy for several years. I love when he clutches my throat during sex. In fact it's becoming an arousing and intimate thing he does as we fall asleep. He holds my throat as we doze off. It often arouses me so much that we end up having sex where he can do it again, a little firmer.

[ilovelegs]

I see your point. I did start out by first saying, " ilovelegs Guru Age: 27 mho 60% Unless they know their girl likes that kind of rough play and likes their guy to be dominant like that, ..." Some girls get turned on by that and it turns on the guy even more and she knows that so it can be all good. Thanks for the MHG. :)

[pwl0lwp]

yeah it's a little power trip. also if you seem to like it (and it seems a lots of girls sometimes like a bit of rough _play_) then he's playing that role a bit.

you never know, he might like the tables turned on him a bit, too.

[Asker]

I definitely like a little bit of rough play and the more we have sex the more he does it so he is just seeing what he can do with me and since I go along with it is why he is bringing a little more each time....thanks for the answer!!

[pwl0lwp]

Yep that sounds like it; it can be a bit odd to sit down & "discuss" this sort of stuff, as you know, so it's going to be a bit of trial & error, testing boundaries & so on. having said that if you feel things are starting to go a bit wild you should probably arrange a "safe" word where you agree to stop (make it something very obviously *not* something you might say in the course of play & is unlikely to sound like anything else eg "pyramid"). have fun ;)

[WaitingAtTheDoor]

Guys tend to want to be dominant, or feel dominant in bed. This is about having control over you.

[dricky2011]

i only do it because she likes it

[PiuBelloAmante]

Its a control/Dominance thing.

[JCvarsityFootball]

dominance ;)

80% dominance and 20% is that some guys actually like the idea of "RAPE" but they would never do it, so they just like 2 have rougher sex lol

[genericname85]

I don't know! But some girls really go crazy for it! Do you might as well am why girls like it.

[WilliamWinslow]

Hmm, I like it. It is even very possible for me to choke my girlfriend during kissing.

[sunfighter84]

i like it. my girlfriend was actually the one who got me started on it, she apparently already knew it was something she enjoyed, and when I'm having sex with her, especially in missionary, she'll want me to put my hand around her throat.something about having her air cut off just excites her, and that's okay! its okay to do what excites you, as long as its not at the expense of the other perosn. which its not, I love it too.and don't ask me why, I'm no psychologist :) but its thrilling, I tend to reach climax quicker when I'm holding her by the throat *shrugs* its exciting.

[bluemage81]

I didn't know I'd like it until I started doing it with my partner. The look on her face when I'm doing it, she enjoys it so much. This arouses me too. So it is a shared joy.

[IvyThatGirl]

Most of men who are abusers, killers and rapists are sadomasochistic and enjoy belittling the female. They usually hate women and want them submissive and by choking to a point of suffocation they’re letting the women know they’re just a piece of ass. Which sadly, a lot of women give themselves for this kind of degradation

[Anonymous]

I'm familiar with this. I think its a dominance thing.

[Anonymous]

well, I wouldn't say it's all about dominance. it means he's turned on and feeling or giving pain is probably like an aphrodisiac, try pulling his hair a little and he might like that too.