My boyfriend is pissed because I faked it??

[Anonymous]

So me and my boyfriend were messing around the other night and I just wasn't in the mood but I wanted to let him have fun. When he went down on me I was kinda just laying there and after a while I told him to stop because I finished but I actually didn't. He asked me if I was sure and I said yes. I don't know how but he can always tell when I'm lying and he got really mad. Why would he get so mad? Would he rather me just not finish because I would think that would make him feel worse. And last night we were laying in bed and I started kissing him and stuff. After a while he said "why do you do this if you just fake it all the time?" it made me so mad because I dont. That was like the only time. So then we just ended up going to bed and today it has just been awkward because I don't know what to say to him and he isn't saying anything either. What should I do? Guys would you be this mad also? And if so what would make you feel better? Thanks.

[ebrady5]

Why did he get so mad you lied to him?

Well, I don't think anyone particularly likes being lied to, regardless of the reason or circumstance. He may have been even more offended by this because he knew you were lying about climaxing and its insulting to his intelligence. Basically, he expects you to respect him more than that. Its not important whether or not you finish so much as you being able to feel comfortable communicating with him. Relationships are based on respect, trust, and communication. Respect your man by being honest with him always, and communicate your true feelings. Trust that he will understand.

You see, when people lie, and get caught, it makes it harder to trust the person who lied to you, even if it was over something seemingly insignificant to you(im sure you get this). Seems like he has lost a little bit of trust in what you say or do by his, "why do you do this if you just fake it all the time?" question.

What should you do?/what would make me feel better in this situation?

Well, an apology would be a great start. Explain yourself(communication remember) and your actions to him. Tell him you werent really in the mood, but you still wanted to please him, so you decided to do what you did. He should understand. Like I said above, I'm sure he feels a bit disrespected by this(I would too), and you need to not only tell him you respect his feelings, but more importantly SHOW it through your actions in the future.

Good luck!

[l-hedoniste]

"Why would he get so mad?" Um, lying is wrong? Makes one untrustworthy, perhaps?

"Would he rather me just not finish because I would think that would make him feel worse." I think he just wants the truth. If it's not working, say so. If you want something different, say so. However you might make him feel, it's NOTHING compared to how he felt when you lied to his face.

"why do you do this if you just fake it all the time?" The 'untrustworthy' bit above? This is what I mean.

The truth. No more faking. Truth.

[Crimson_Petal]

It makes him question himself. If you faked it this one time has he EVER pleased you properly? This is just one of many things he'd be asking himself. Also, if he didn't figure it out that you were faking -this probably doesn't apply here but, what incentive has he to improve on things. Even if you aren't in the mood usually they CAN make you in the mood..

[parnellfitness64]

lying about finishing kinda strips a man of his pride in a sense. it kinda makes us feel like we can't please you and aren't manly enough I guess. I'd rather a girl be truthful and just say theyre not up for it.

[sinful1620]

Imagine it's his birthday, and you work real hard to figure out what present to get him. When you give it to him, he pretends to love it, but an hour later you find out that he tossed it straight into the garbage can. How would that make you feel?

Lying is bad.

[Anonymous]

Yeah, I would be upset... Pleasing our partner is a big thing and if she fakes it then what else is she lying about. I would just tell him that from now on you will be honest and that it won't happen again. The next time he tries something and your not in the mood I might move away from what ever he's doing and maybe you doing something to him instead.