Men, when do you want a girl to cover up or not show her body?

Question

My very first boyfriend who I am still with,I lost my virginity to and the first time we were going to have sex,I stupidly thought I should go out and buy sexy lingerie and ended up embarrassing myself because I know I have cellulite(on my thighs and butt) but still did it and he basically just told me to cover up so we have sex under the covers now or if he wants to do it from behind we turn the lights off.And one of my closest girlfriends told me her boyfriend told her to keep her bra on because he was turned off by her breasts although I like her breasts,mine are a B cup but she's like a D,we always say we'll trade one another because she wants smaller and she wears a bra every time they have sex.So what are some other things she should cover up for?

Kevin21 · Accepted Answer

I hope you read this answer, I really do. You seem to be somebody with low self-esteem, some1 who's not confident about their own body and your boyfriend makes this worse by putting you down and laughing with his mates. This has made you feel like crap, maybe without you realising that now you even blame yourself and not him. How can you think its your fault that he makes fun of you with his mates... that's just ridiculous.

You're a human being just like he is, it doesn't matter if he is a guy. If I was your friends boyfriend and called her a fat bitch with my friends, would you blame her aswell? Would it be her fault that I called her a fat bitch, just because I'm a guy? This is not something guys do, I don't sit around with my friends, slagging off my each others girlfriends, we actually compliment each others girlfriends if they come up in conversation.

My girlfriend is a bit chubby, she's an inch taller than you, and about the same weight and she has cellulite a belly and everything but I couldn't care less. When we have sex, I wana see her body and if she's wearing lingerie, even better! I love her whilst she's wearing it and I can't wait to take it off her to see what's underneath. My girlfriend has flaws, nobody is perfect, but I love her enough to see past those flaws and I'm sure she does the same with all my flaws.

I get that this is your first boyfriend, and you probably wanted a boyfriend for ages before you met him, but seriously ditch this loser and eventually somebody better will come along. He's clearly a simple-minded tool who doesn't appreciate you and will move on as soon as he finds some1 more attractive who's stupid enough to take him. So dump the asshole before dumps you and leaves you crushed.

You seem to respond to tough love, so seriously, ditch this guy. Understand he's a loser and he's treating you like crap, If you can't get this into your head then I won't say you deserve it, but that I've wasted my time here and you're not worth saving.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

hes a f***ing asshole. I'm sorry but its the truth, no offense

you freaking went out and bought lingerie for him. I know guys prefer girls to be nude. but I know women like this kind of stuff. he doesn't even compliment you on the lingerie just assumes your gonna look like sh*t cause of your legs and tells you to turn the lights off etc..a real man would understand you don't have the best body but that you were confident enough to wear lingerie. he's an asshole for it and you deserve better. like the girl at the bottom said, he's only your first boyfriend and you will get more as time goes by. but this is just unacceptable in my opinion, and something needs to be done about him.

Tamikaze · Accepted Answer

A guy who is really in to you won't care about cellulite or your breasts. In fact, they will get very excited by exactly your body shape. I know women that are married, have had several children, their breasts are no longer riding high, their tummies are no longer flat. They work out, but there are limits to what exercise can do and yet their husbands are still as in to sex with them as ever, and they buy lingerie for their wives.

You are with the wrong guy. So is your friend. This may not be enough for you to want to move on from this guy now, but I think eventually it will be part of why you are not happy with him.

I dated this guy about a year ago that I had to just figure out on my own was embarrassed or not attracted to something about me. It wasn't my body, but maybe my age, I don't know. We would go out in public and he would act like he almost wasn't even with me. When I brought this up to him he would make all kinds of excuses or get mad at me. After a few dates like this, I finally ended contact. I will NEVER tolerate a guy who thinks I am less than great. What is the point? There are too many guys out there who think you, your friend and me are their dream girl. Kick the others one to the curb!

ConfidentNerd · Accepted Answer

Don't call yourself stupid. You know how many girls probably don't even think ahead to their first time in that sort of way? You wanted to make it special for your boyfriend and he absolutely destroyed it. He tainted your view of what should be one of the most important memories in your entire life, and he probably doesn't even know it nor does he care. You should be infuriated, not embarrassed.

I don't have the best body ever but I think it's pretty rockin', myself. If a guy ever told me to cover it up I'd tell him to put his pants back on. You tell me to cover up my body, I'll tell you to cover up your d***. If you don't want to see me, then I don't want to see "it."

It's one thing if it's a fetish, like "I love lingerie so could you keep it on so I can look at it?" or "Let's shut the lights off so we can pretend we're in a log cabin in the woods" hahaha... or something like that. But "I don't want to see your disgusting body" is completely different - it's rude, it's insensitive, it's a total d*** move and I wouldn't put out ever again for someone like that.

I think that if he can't accept you for who you are and what you look like, he's not worth your time.

emmabee11 · Accepted Answer

I will say what everyone else says, dump the f***er and also your friend should have words with her boyfriend too, how can he be turned off by her boobs? most men would kill just to touch any boobs at all. He does not like you for who you are, he can't accept you for what you look like and your letting him push your self-esteem further and further down the drain, Also I read comments below, Kevil21 was NOT saying you deserve ANYTHING at all so why are you thinking that?. Just stop OK and think about what he is doing, could you possibly continue to go out with someone who can't accept you in every single way? he clearly doesn't, you can have words with him and try and sort this out but if he still can't accept it then please please... this is from a female to another female, do NOT see him any more, he is a lowering asshole who sounds to me like he is just wanting you for the sex and nothing else.

strbryshake · Answer

This is only your first boyfriend, so I understand you might not realize that he's not treating you well. I know you asked for male opinions, but I just wanted to let you know that you deserve better (everyone does). Women's bodies are all different, and pretty much never perfect. Cellulite it not uncommon, and neither are small breasts.

Not all guys will make you feel bad for something like that. And any good guy would not laugh about it to his friends! That is NOT 'a guy thing' and it's most definitely something to feel bad about, to get angry about. If he's treating you this way he does not deserve anything from you.

I hope you can either talk to him about this or move on and find someone who really cares about you. Good luck and all the best.

aestuum · Answer

F*** THAT. DUMP HIM. I don't care what you look like, your man should love you for the way you are, imperfections and all. Don't that that sh*t. You tried damn hard to be sexy for him, and he is lucky cause that is a lot more than most guys get. Cellulite is a fact of life, he can learn to deal cause, reality check, THERE IS NO PERFECT WOMAN. All those magazines images? Airbrushed, retouched, all different models mashed together on photoshop. Empower yourself and find someone who truly appreciates who you are and your sexy bod

Crimson_Petal · Answer

wow, you and your friend's boyfriend's sound ridiculous...that would be enough for me to withdraw sex.

missjane · Answer

look if this guys doesn't want to look at you in lingerie and turns off the lights when you are together, then he is ashamed about something! Sorry to be blunt but it sounds like you and your friend have crap boyfriends! A guy is supposed to love you for every flaw and not want to hide it or ask you to cover it up, he thinks every part of you is beautiful and amazing!

peace-love-couture · Answer

Guys are visual,so unless you have a perfect body,like perfect breasts,perfect ass,then cover up.Don't take it personally because "guys are visual" which means they can be as critical of your naked body as they want.

Thank goodness for plastic surgery though huh?

Rosebud24 · Answer

What? What is wrong with these boys that you guys are with? I've never had a guy prefer for me to be covered up rather than completely naked in bed. They both sound like assholes!

Jinmetsu_Rasetsu · Answer

My perspective on your situation:

I don't think it is absolutely necessary to cover up when you are in a private situation. It is a bit overboard, if you ask me. It seems as if he is almost ashamed to look at you. Any time he wants to overt his view of you during sex, it is an indication of him not liking what he see. Why? Because psychologically, Males are more visual of the genders pertaining to sexuality. Another issue could be he is not comfortable with his body, and he may be embarrassed if you see something objectionable of him and his body.

As for your friend, I can shed a little light on that. As I said, men are more visual and perhaps he is not fond of the view of flopping breasts... Perhaps he prefers smaller breasts... It is possible, because not all men believe "bigger breasts are better. It is a myth propogated by popular culture and p*rnography that all men like large breasts. The purpose of the bra is to support the breasts, correct? Wherein, the support can chaste the breasts into a fixed position and aesthetically make them look smaller. Therein is the source of the dilemma. He perhaps like the look of them being smaller. Speaking of myself, I prefer smaller myself. A-C cup size... Any larger is not my forte.

As for my situation:

Only when out in public.

It is mainly because I am Jewish... "Halakha" is Jewish law and it is a measure of rules up to and including both masculine and feminine modesty. This is the act of covering areas that are objectionable. Cleavage is a no-no, Any skin above the knee for women and men is unacceptable (I don't wear shorts at all outside, I always wear slacks even if it is 115F outside), view of skin of the torso is forbidden as well for women. I don't even go outside without a shirt on myself. I believe in absolute equality, and if my girl/wife has to confine herself to modesty rules, I conform likewise. I don't like "double standards". More or less, If I am in a private setting, anything goes. But in public, modesty.

JustSayinn · Answer

He might as well of asked you to put a paper bag on your head! Lol, sorry but if I were you I would leave him. Since he's your first I know exactly how you feel, my first was a douche too... but once you grow more you'll understand things better and clearly see the big picture.

That's my opinion anyway... Just don't let anyone make you feel bad about yourself. Everyone likes different things, so you can find a guy that is going to appreciate and love you and everything about you.

lace1228 · Answer

Sweetie this isn't a guy thing,here is the real deal, a real man will love ever inch of you. He will  respect you and call you beautiful, he will be proud of you and will never make fun of you. A real men will want to show you off to his friends and not hide you. I hate to say it but your man is emotionally abusing you and that is never OK, you should love yourself and have enough strength and courage to leave him because I am telling you right now you deserve so much more.

lisa_username · Answer

honestly I know you love him, but you have to dump him. if I've ever had any insecurities with my body it has been my partners to make me feel better about the way I look rather than put me down. this is the wrong guy for u. if you stay with him he will only lessen your self esteem even more and criticize other areas of you whether it be your personality or physicality and these criticisms won't die quickly they will stick with you for a long time until you overcome them and overcoming emotional injuries aren't easy..

please don't give him a chance to make you feel bad about any other area of u. you are beautiful and you can find someone better.

partypunk · Answer

Go nude, diet, and work out. It's healthy attractive and good for your self esteem. All pros no cons.

DaveMicharl69 · Answer

Hon, noone's saying you desreve it. We're saying you DON'T! And Kevin21, I couldn't have said it better. QA your Boyfriend is a selfish asshole who wants to have his cake & eat it too. He's not staisfied with you for some stupid reason, but he wants sex without looking at you. NO WONDER you feel bad! If he was the Boyfriend you deserve, he'd want to see all of you he could, no matter what you wore or weighed, N you didn't make an ass of yourself with lingerie, he did! Dump this loser ASAP& you'll find a guy who loves everything about you N won't want to have sex "blindly", probably a lot easier than you think  because you sound like a great girl...

chrsschb · Answer

Ass holes Enough said. I LOVE LINGERIE.  Drives me wild when my wife dresses up for me!

briannababy · Answer

okay, I like sex under the covers because I'm self concious... ANY guy that doesn't want to see your body isn't worth being with. Your body doesn't sound bad. I have a little cellulite on my butt, but that's because its rather big... and my boyfriend loves it! You shouldn't be with someone who doesn't love your body. I bet there are a lot of other guys who would want to see you in the lingerie :-) You deserve someone to appreciate you.

katiesmuff · Answer

How would we know if she should cover up anything.  I have to admit you sound a bit strange yourself!

ryanontario · Answer

if I got that far with a girl I would not want her to cover up her body during sex , that would definity ruin the moment , especially if she was hot and had a nice body . if her body was that awful looking I doubt things would of got as far is the bedroom anyways

MandMandM · Answer

It would be rather distracting if girls didn't cover up in the office or in the shopping mall. In a sexual context, never!

KERMlT · Answer

She might want to cover up if someone walks in on us. Or put something on the ground when we do it in the snow (doesn't matter who's on the bottom).

I think the female body is sexy and shouldn't ever be covered up when you are intimate with someone. You are supposed to love all of them, not just certain pieces.

You wouldn't need to buy lingerie with me, I'd be turned on if I caught you undressing. As a famous comedian once said, you can turn a guy on by taking off a sock. Yeah, we can think of the next thing coming off and the next thing and that might lead to some nookietime.

As far as your friend's chest go, I'd love her girls. I'd like to see them do the Missionary Dance. I tried to have Urban Dictionary include it but they denied my request. Anyway, the Missionary Dance is the movement of a medium to large natural breasted woman makes during sex in missionary position. I love it when they bounce with each thrust. :D

Cartiphilus · Answer

Nothing! I want to see every square inch of her naked body!

"stupidly thought I should go out and buy sexy lingerie and ended up embarrassing myself because I know I have cellulite(on my thighs and butt) but still did it ..." You did absolutely nothing wrong. Your boyfriend is an idiot. Almost all, if not all, girls have stretch marks somewhere. Many, many girls have cellulite. There is no reason at all to make a girl feel bad about her body. You need to find a boyfriend who can accept you for not only your body, but mind and personality---the whole package.

Esvanna · Answer

he sucks! If I were you, I'd dump him. Seriously, he doesn't know what love means.

Men, when do you want a girl to cover up or not show her body?

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