Sexual Health
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I want my husband to be REALLY rough with me.

Hi, I am 30 years old. Been married for 12 years. For the most part always had a great sex life. I can tell my husband how I want and what I want and all that. I have told him I want it rough and he has spanked me and choked me and done anal and all that. I tell him it isn't rough enough. He really does try but how do I tell him he isn't getting rough enough? I want him to push me , pin me down, slap me, bite me, hit me I mean really hurt me. He is soft and gentle kind of guy. I want him to take control and dominate me. For years and years I have wanted this and I keep trying to push it back and deep down and it is always there. I don't know how to not want this. It's kinda like you always want what you can't have I guess. Any suggestions? I love my husband dearly, but sex doesn't have to always be about love does it? Any suggestions on how to show him he really can be rougher with me and I will like it? I don't get wet any more because when we have sex that's all I think about. but when he chokes me or is a little rough I start to drip, you would think that would be a sign to him. Right?
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Most Helpful Guys

  • I was going to suggest p*rn, but I think there's more to it than suggesting. I am not sure that he actually doesn't understand. I think he understands what you want; being your husband first and lover second, he just may be not sure where it is leading long term.

    You are very in-the-moment sexual, but perhaps, you being his wife, he feels bad putting the stress and mileage on your body. Like some guys would pay through the nose for an Austin Martin and then drive it gingerly even though that car craves to be driven the way Bond drives it, and it's existence is almost a waste otherwise.

    I am pretty athletic and love to bring that to bear with the girl within her comfort zone, perhaps sometimes stretching that zone a bit if she's OK with it.

    • Great answer! thanks for putting that into perspective. :)

  • It's not actually about the roughness, but the psychological effect of being dominated. One person submitting to the will of another, the feminine-masculine yin-yang.

    Some guys are a little uncomfortable with this, because it edges on everything they've been taught not to do, and by you telling him what to do, you still hold the "power", so its not as "real".

    You want to become his obedient little sex slave, and you want him to pour all his passion into you. And the easiest way to do this is by *teasing*. Tease him and don't let him get what he wants until he forces it out of you. Tell him how badly you want it, but keep it right out of his grip. Tantric sex is *AWESOME*, trust me. It's all about the chase...

    • Really Great advice! Thanks!

Most Helpful Girls

  • I would stop talking and buy a video of what you want him to do to you. There are thousands of extreme S&M sites showing what you'd like done. Put it on and then tell him I'd like you to try some of that stuff with me. If he says I respect you too much ten tell him it's a fantasy and you'll buy him an outfit and change his name so it's just play.Maybe he does think he's being rough but he really doesn't know how rough you'd like him to be.

  • Tell him. I want you to push me , pin me down, slap me, bite me, hit me I mean really hurt me.

  • Just tell him, he shouldn't have a problem with it.

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What Girls & Guys Said

3 8

  • Not always. Well, not a lot of the time. Tell him doing such things would further your arousal, and thus making you have a better orgasm and euphoric sexual experience. Tell him it's not that you want him to be that way, you need him to be that way.

    How to go about showing him is pre-sex. Whichever feeling of what you want done most at the moment, and then tell him to do it. Kind of provoke him, not in a bad way though. Push him, see if he pushes you. If he does push back, and it isn't enough for you. Push him again. See if he does it harder, or the same. If he pushes you harder, obviously you're getting what you want. So, push him some more and tell him "is that all you got, weakling?" Then, if he seems like he's starting to get pissed by it. You've probably reached a level of arousal by the few pushes. So, then start to seduce him along with getting what you want. Be creative, and not do what you normally do. And see how it further pans out.

    • I had the same ? As her thanks your advice is very good :)

  • Yeah so hit me up in a message babe. :)

  • well I would advice him to do some kinda warm up be for he try's this new comasutra thing...just in case he pulls a muscle..lol...take viagra + horny goat (I don't know what does but give it a try) and he wears boxing gloves and knocks you out & calls all the guys in your area to shagg you..i never tried that but it might work on you ;)...and for the finish...a baseball bat would do...does that sound like a good way to have sex?

    • We all have fantasies. You don't have to be rude because I am not afraid to admit mine. I know what I want and that is more then a lot of people.

    • i have no intention to be rude to no one, so no offence...but I thought you sounded like you really wanted to get hurt!...However, maybe you might wanna show the guy some p*rn videos you find stimulating or something for him to make notes from! hope that helped :)

  • i think you just have to look at him straight in the face and tell him what you want. Do NOT hint, just be straight with him.

    He will probably be shy at first but he WILL eventually like it.

  • be on top of him and do what you want him to do to you and than he will catch on

  • Could be fun.

  • get rough with him 1st and sooner or later he will adjust too it mentally

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  • Wow so I'm turned on now lol

    wtf is wrong with him? I'm 21 and I would f*** the living hell out of you if its any consolation. I wish more girls would be such dirty little bitches. you're a true submissive who wants to be dominated completely and you need a real dominant man for the job. Hopefully he can get the job done. He doesn't know how good he has it because women like you are rare to find and if you're hot too then he's just crazy. He needs to get with the program and rip that p**** up and treat you like you deserve to be treated.

    • Omg I had to bite my finger while reading this. I am a teacher so I am not around much during the day, as of recently. (just took a new positions yesterday) We should totally chat it up sometime! OMG drip ... drip ... drip...

    • I make your p**** drip huh babe? Nasty f***in whore. I love it. I can see we are both anon so that's a problem lol Well I actually never post under my username but I will just this once. I am definitely interested in chatting with you. Just send me a message. ;)

    • wow you cheating whore...

    • Show All

  • I think I have the same problem as your husband. If I love a woman I really don't want to hurt her or do anything that could even possibly hurt her. You're going to have to beg him in bed to slap you harder and bite you and keep telling him harder after every time and say it like you're pissed that he isn't slapping you harder and biting you.

  • some men just don't have it in them to act out or be the rougher type. not sayin he's any less of a man. he probably doesn't have that personality trait to just rough you up

    • I know that is what it is. But hw can I get him to at least just try to do it for me. Heck if he has fantasies that I haven't full filled I want to full fill them for him... ya know?

    • you just said he did try, it just wasn't to your liking. either be more firm as to want you want by showing examples, or take it for what its worth

    • Yeah you are right. He does try. Maybe I am to "needy" I don't know. But I will take it for what it is worth. I guess I feel like if I tell him it isn't working that I will hurt his manhood. He does spank me and choke me. One time he spanked me so hard I fell and I loved it, I let him know I loved it by moaning and reacting. Then when we were done I showed him the welts and said something like baby you did good. Maybe I just need to not complain about it. I feel bad for doing so.

    • Show All

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