Why won't he wear a condom?

I'm not on birth control he knows that ,he doesn't want to wear a condom and he comes inside me all the time even when I tell him to pull out ... I work with this guy ,we like each other and hook up when ever we go out .. does he even care or not if he gets me pregnant ?


Most Helpful Girl

  • DISRESEPCT. First word that comes to mind when I read this. He has no respect for you whatsoever, if he did he would respect your wishes, however, you also aren't doing anything to stop him it seems like. If you want him to pull out, you make him pull out, if you want him to wear a condom you have to make it happen, it's obvious he won't do it unless you take charge.

    First, you need to learn to respect yourself and learn your own boundaries. You need to set a line, a line he can't cross. As of now, he thinks you can do whatever he wants and it's no big deal. You're letting him think that by not taking control of YOUR BODY.

    Second, do you really like this guy? Or is it just for the sex? If you really like him, try and take things further, more than just a hook up. If you don't have feelings for him, why are you bothering with him? I can guarantee you could find someone that would RESPECT YOUR WISHES.

    Lastly, remember, that you can't expect anyone else to do anything about this, you have to do it for yourself. it's your body, it's your life, take charge. Don't let some guy possible get you pregnant and completely change your life because of his selfish reason's (unless you want to have his baby, which in that case, refer back to the second statement). You are a strong person, do what you feel is right, take charge.


What Guys Said 8

  • He doesn't wear a condom because he wants you to have his baby. Men who don't want children, act like it.

  • most likely not. He sounds like a selfish irrisponsible guy. You are most likely going to get pregnant and I can GUARANTEE that he won't be around to help if you keep it.

    deadbeat. Set some rules and stick to them. If he doesn't obey, walk out, OR IT'S GOING TO BE YOUR MISTAKE TO LIVE WITH FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE.

    Think about that...

  • The simple and true answer is that he doesn't wear a condom because YOU don't make him wear one. You're both being childishly irresponsible and you both share the blame. It's totally within your power and your right to look him in the eye and say "No rubber, no nookie - make your choice." If you're not willing to do that, then you deserve what you get.

    • iv two kids already I'm not looking for another ,i just got out of a long sh*tty relationship, I was not on the pill because I havnt been sexually active since my last relationship ,i plan to go on the pill soon , I like this guy a lot he is very sweet & gentle towards me ,he is in his 30s a bit older than me , I just wanted a mans advice on why he would do this knowing the risks of.? maybe I'm wrong that he likes ...maybe he has no respect for me ,and dosnt like me at all ..and I should move on?

    • There's really not enough info here, but based on what you've said my guess is that no, he does not have any respect for you. That's kind of irrelevant to your question, though. The bottom line is that whether or not he wears a condom to have sex with you is 100% within your ability to control. If you choose not to exercise that control, you're the one who's made the choice.

    • yengesi made some sense!

  • "does he even care or not if he gets me pregnant "

    do you not care if you get pregnant? That's the real question. You're the one who's allowing this. How many times do you think it takes?

    • i don't know 10 times ...durrrrr ! iv two kids already not looking for another .im not protected because havnt been sexually active sine my last sh*tty relationship ,i plan to go on the pill soon ,because now I'm sexually active again ,i just want to know why he taking these risks with me ?

  • Did you say THIS GUY? I wasn expecting BOYFRIEND at least? Not only that pregnancy is an issue, how can you let him penetrate you without a condom? Ever heard of STD's

    • why do I have to be in a relationship to have sex with a guy ? I'm planning to go on birthcontrol , I wasn't on the pill because I want sexually active since my last relationship ,but when I ask him to pull out (wich A LOT of people do ) he dosnt .i just want to know why ?

    • Go back an read my comment and tell me where does it say that you have to be in a relationship to have sex. It says that you should'nt even be having unproteced sex with a random guy. Not only that unplanned pregnancy can be an issue, you can contract an STD. ever heard of std's?

    • ya iv heard of STDs ... I'm clear and so is he (I asked him of course ) , pregnancy is a big issue and I don't want that , I already have two kids ,i know the risks I am taking , I'm just asking why does he do it all the time ? I thought guys these days are extra carefull...?

  • Cut him off until he gets the message.

    Or just cut him off period.

  • I think he's trying to get you pregnant, he obviously feels something more for you and he thinks the easiest way to make you fall for him is being the mother of his child. This isn't a joke either.

    • im sorry but that's sounds crazy !

    • It may to you, but it sounds like he's getting attached. Trust me.

  • Men don't like condoms because they take away some of the sensation from sex. As for not pulling out he either has absolutely no self control or he wants to get you pregnant. Either way he doesn't care much about you if he is doing this even after you told him you want him to pull out.

    • to be honest I think he prematurely ejaculates , he comes extremly fast every time ,im kinda thinking that could be it ? he's really sweet and gentle towards me and we get on great ,i hope he cares for me , or maybe I should just move on ...?

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    • im definitely not pregnant now .. thanks for your advice it really really helped ! (:

    • I should also jump in and say that you need to get tested for STI's as soon as possible. Go to your local sexual health clinic or Planned Parenthood and get the tests done. He doesn't sound very responsible to me, therefore I think that you should be. Go get birth control, condoms and tests done.

What Girls Said 9

  • I consider the biggest issue is why you keep letting him "finish " inside you... But as far as he coming inside you all the time...I will say you should take it as a compliment... A guy that's not really into a girl will never do that because they know what are the consequences but he's willing to take the risk with you... maybe he doesn't care if you get pregant and have his kid or maybe he just thinks about the moment other than the reaction of his acts. If you like the guy I think the best option for you is to get on a birth control before it's too late if not then try to find a guy who understand the imprtance of using a condom. In any of the cases...Best of lucks! :)

  • Sounds to me like he's not respecting you as a woman. Any guy who won't listen to a girl when she asks him to pull out and/or wear a condom and doesn't screams that he's in it for himself and has no respect for your feelings or body.

  • he doesn't wear a condom because it feels better when the guy doesnt, but if you want him to wear one and he cares about you he should put one on. and if he continues to not wear one then either you should stop hooking up with him cause he obviously doesn't care enough about you to think about not getting you pregnant, or you could go on birth control.

    • im planning to go on birth control soon ,i just got out of a really long sh*tty relationship ,i havnt been sexually active again until now, I really like this guy he is so sweet and glentle towards me ,i thinking maybe he finds it hard to pull out (it does get very hot and heavy lol ) I know the risks I'm taking ,im not worried about STDs because were both clear (:

  • Why in God's name are you still having sex with him if he refuses to put on a condom? Common sense says you either get on BC or cut him off, so why don't you? you claim to not want another child, and yet you're basically trying for another baby!

    This can't be a serious question.. I fail to believe someone would actually continue having sex with someone who they KNOW won't pull out or wear a condom, and then claim to not want a kid.. Nothing's stopping you from getting on birth control, so why the hell haven't you?

    • i plan to go on birth control as soon as I can , I havnt been on it because I havnt been sexually active in a while since my last relationship .

    • Why did you get on it as soon as you started hooking up? Someone with half a brain would at least stop having sex with him until they could get on BC.

  • Are you serious? Why don't you go on a birth control if you are worried about getting pregnant like this...and secondly..ever thought about other things like STDs?

    Besides if he doesn't bother to respect you enough when you say no... why do you keep hooking up with him?

    • am I serious ? would I of asked the qustion if I wasn't ?

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    • 23... two kids and ...? is that a problem ? yes I no it was irresponsible of me , I just wanted to know what was he thinking when he did it after I ask him to pull out ...thats all I was not looking for a telling off lol ,and why does it not come off serious, I'm not the only person in the world to have protected sex

    • When you are able to take care of your two children with 23yrs I am more than happy for you 3... but what I wanted to say with this, is that YOUR behavior is irresponsible > sleeping with the guy unprotected risking another pregnancy or even STDs. Did you ever think about that he probably won't wear condoms with other women as well? That he might have an illness which you could have already by now. Let's pretend you got infected by smth what limits your life, would THAT be fair to your children?

  • i had to put the brakes on my guy earlier today because we didn't have one. He understood I didn't want sex yet unprotected.

    were in the same boat as you hun, Co-workers> casual daters > seacret Bf/GF our relationship is so new/ fragile we don't want a surprise pregnancy to damage it

  • Well you are being stupid for even allowing this to happen. Because more than likely if you get pregnant he will not be sticking around so you better DO SOMETHING.

  • girlfriend I'm worried about you :( first of all, you should NEVER have sex without a condom, unless you are in a committed relationship with a guy and you've both been tested. a guy that won't use a condom even when you want him to is a d-bag, and a guy who won't pull out even when you tell him shows he's a d-bag. dump him and get a vibrator. third - there's a statistic out there that says a woman having regular sex without using birth control has like a 70% chance of getting pregnant in the next year. good luck cause that'll be you soon. but if you disregard all my advice, USE CONDOMS!