After I got engaged I found out my fiancee had a threesome with her e-boyfriend and one of her other friends?

[Anonymous]

I have told her my sexual fantasies, which she is unwilling to fulfill. She says it hurts. But, she also did this with her ex-boyfriend. She is also still friends with the other girl, its her best friend. The threesome was her boyfriends idea. It makes me feel very insecure that she was willing to do anything for him, like have a threesome with her best friend, and that she is unwilling to do anything for me. I don't want to have a threesome it just doesn't interest me. But there are two things I am worried about. First I don't want her friend at our wedding despite that she is her best friend, but some girl who licked my fiancees p**** is going to be in her bridal shower I don't think so. I think I have avoided that by convincing her that we should have a small wedding with only our families, so I don't even have to say I don't want your best friend at our wedding. but it still bothers me that there are so many things she did for her ex who she said she didn't love and then she is unwilling to do anything for me. its unfair to me, and I need to know how to best approach this so that I can have her realize my side. I'm going to marry her no matter what, so ending the relationship is not an option. I just want to know what to say so I don't have to start looking somewhere else to get what I need be it sexual or emotional

[baddooggie]

Sorry to say but you need to consider NOT marrying her. You WILL be looking for it elsewhere. If that scenario suits you then by all means marry her.

If I were you, I'd do her and her best friend first. For your sanity, you need proof she will give you more or at least the same she gave her ex.

Alternatively, do the threesome bit even if you plan to dump her. Do it whichever way, but do it. Who knows maybe her best friend can give you what you want.

You get your peace of mind (and laid too), and she gets a husband who will love and respect her from that time onwards. Everyone comes out a winner.

[ryanontario]

yeah this isn't really cool , I don't really know what she is thinking , it could be she has a dirty past and wants a cleaner future with a better guy . that may explain why she does not want to do certain things with you . but still its just sex and her reasons don't exactly make sense .

[toulouse]

Wait do you ant her to do the SAM things she did with him, or you just assuming she should want to do w/e you want because she did stuff.. what do you mean she says it will hurt0 physically or emotionally? past is past and if you want to do something that will hurt her & you need that as proof you are both not functional for each other, but for real, she's probably trying to move on.. its kind of obvious,

u are perseverating, & if she is untrustowrthy you won't gain trust by degrading her, accept her or leave her,

[Anonymous]

Maybe the threesome with her ex-boyfriend ruined their relationship? She may also be more protective of having you all to herself if she loves you more than her ex-boyfriend.

[katiesmuff]

You very well might want to give some second thoughts to this wedding thing. I really don't see this relationship going very far.

[Anonymous]

Ask her why she isn't willing to show you the same love and affection that she gave him. If she doesn't give a straight answer, or gives some "I'm a reformed slut" type of answer, put off the engagement.

DO NOT MARRY HER UNTIL THIS IS SETTLED TO "YOUR" SATISFACTION!

[Opinion Owner]

If she's willing to do all sorts of things for one guy but not you that is a deal breaker. You need to get out pronto before things get worse, before you find out all other sorts of sh*t which will only further infuriate you. Look, I know I'm just some anonymous idiot on the 'net but you need to listen to me and these other people when we tell you stop, do not pass go, and above all DO NOT MARRY HER!

[Anonymous]

damn you got it bad. you're in for a bumpy ride sorry to say.