There's your answer right there and the conudrum couples face. You said "if I get married it'll be be for love." Well what do two people who were horny enough to have sex with each other without any preventative action and accidentally make another human being want to think. Does one admit "I don't love her, but we made a person."? Do you say, "I made a baby with someone who I think is pretty cool. Yeah, I like hanging out with them."
Somehow when a baby comes into the mix, you'd like to think it came from love and not unprotected horniness. So these people feel they to need to prove, all the while convince themselves that indeed were in love for this baby to happen. Clearly, as I'm sure you've seen firsthand, it's usually not the case.
So it's not so much a case of it being "stupid" as it is a tough dilemma and situation the couple have gotten themselves into. Personally, I know couples or girls who shouldn't have had babies and yet did, despite the fact that they agree it shouldn't have happened or wanted to happen (in general and with that person) that they don't want their baby to be raised in a broken home like the ones the majority have. And so they stick it out with guys/girls they shouldn't and marry him/her for those same reasons.
And let me say this: if the guy asks the girl to marry him after finding out she's pregnant, I'm going to say that the majority of the time he's doing it for everyone but him. ( what will my mom say?, what will people think?, is that what she wants? Is that what I am suppose to do?)
If the girl said "no" I imagine they feel like weight and pressure is off their shoulders. They offered, you denied, "oh well, I tried."
I'm sure if I got a hypothetical girlfriend pregnant and it got to that point, that that baby was born outta the outcome of the love it's daddy had for his mommy and from the result of that love is a child we make. And if I got that far with her and wasn't married, I'd know it was only because it would have been too soon to tell her that I wanted to marry them the day I met her. Since that couldn't happen it had to wait till later on. That's how sure I'd feel for the person who I would take such a big a responsibility with :)
No. Just off of pregnancy would be pointless. Like you said, it's for love not babies.
If I got pregnant by my friends with benefits I wouldn't marry him. I'm not ready to get married. I'll probably get married when I'm 27 but not at 21. I've known him since high school but I still wouldn't marry him just because I got pregnant. I'd have to have fallen in love with him and be ready to get married 1st
If it was just a random hook-up, no, it wouldn't make sense to propose. If you've been together for over a year or two & are in love? Sure. Some people just want that perfect family. But if it's obviously not going to work out, then he shouldn't propose.
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What's Your Opinion? Sign Up Now!I am Old School. I would not have sexual relations with someone with whom I did not have some form of love, no matter how broadly love is defined. I would only have sexual relations with someone I would want to bear and raise my children. If I girl a girl pregnant, these conditions would be in place and I would marry her if she also wanted that.
I know what you mean by not having sexual relationships with people you don't love, but I mean, You get married to someone when you really love each other and are at that point in your relationship, not for a baby. And, what would you do if she didn't want that?
Love is not a feeling. It is a decision just like religious faith. I can decide to love the mother of my unborn child and marry on that basis. If she did not believe as I believe, I would encourage her going to term and delivery at my expense and then adoption.
You can't just decide to love someone.
I try not to sleep with people I don't love just in case!
If a guy proposed to me JUST because I was pregnant I would say no
Yes I would and I wouldn't be having sex with her if I didn't already love her. I've never had casual sex so yeah. If the woman said no I would be pissed lol.
Just pissed? Would you try and convince her or what?
If I thought she just had cold feet I would try to convince her but if I thought she really did not want to marry me I would be hurt and pissed off thinking she didn't love me as much as she acted like and that now my kid would be raised 80% by her and she can pretty much do as she pleases with the kid (including abort it) without me having any input in the situation.
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