He has a girlfriend but we had sex. We are working together. How can I get over him?

[Anonymous]

OK so, here's the story... I work with a guy who is in a good relationship for about 5 years. It never crossed my mind that anything would happen between us because he was "reserved" and he always looked like a serious and dedicated guy. But... that was until our first working trip. In that trip he flirted with me a lot and one thing lead to another and we ended up fooling around in his room. It's been a year since then, but during this year we have had several moments.. I'm talking about sex or less... First in the office, later at the trips. We go through periods when we flirt more intensely (especially when his girlfriend is traveling too) and others when we don't flirt at all. And no need to mention the changes in our mood from time to time that have been huge due to our wrong behavior. I have never asked from him to get more serious, because I feel terribly guilty, I like his girlfriend (who I have inevitably met) and I don't see why he has to leave her since he seems into her. This is a terribly messed up situation for me. On one hand I like this guy very much. I feel jealous of his girlfriend and I would like to be in her place and have his attention. On the other hand I feel like I can't do anything. My question is what can I do to feel better with all this? How should I behave in the next trip? Should I continue the game (which is very enjoying...) or should I draw the line in order to feel better in the long run? And why is he cheating on her anyway since he likes her so much? I suppose that what I really want to ask is how you think I could gain my self respect and his respect back. The easiest solution would be to find someone else. But until then... what?

[SachinKaundinya]

There is no guarantee that he will not cheat you in the future. You know his girlfriend is a very nice person. So, the problem here is the guy himself. He has messed up the situation himself. What if he does the same with another girl in the future? And how long will you continue this kind of relationship feeling guilty every time? The sex you had on numerous occasions wasn't out of love. I was just out of attraction. So think about it. You will undoubtedly meet another awesome person in your life. Don't cheat his girlfriend, whom you like. Try and stay away from him. Everything's gonna be alright :)

[Asker]

Thank you! :)

[FrancoBattiato]

You're a whore. He's a whore. You'd be good for each other. Get with him, enjoy his attention while he's f***ing another girl on the side just like he does with you, because that's all your are to him. Pussy. People like you can burn in hell in my opinion. Just laying it down.

[Asker]

Come on.. nobody's hurt.. Just me in this situation. So hell maybe is too much :p. But I admit that those kind of comments help too since the bring me back to reality.

[FrancoBattiato]

haha, yeh you seem to be forgetting the girl he's cheating on because you can't keep your slutty legs shut.

[Asker]

She's sleeping peacefully at night.. Don't worry.. But anyway I get your point...

[FrancoBattiato]

Yep, but not for long. And who knows how many other girls he's f***ing while she sleeps peacefully completely faithful and trusting. Not long till she gets something because he's been a ****, and you're just as responsible as him for letting him do it.

[Asker]

thank you

[FrancoBattiato]

More than welcome

[Stacyzee]

Why would you want to take her place? So he can parade you around to everyone, yet cheat on you exactly the same way?

He may like this girl, but is not ready for commitment if he is cheating on her (chances are you aren't the only girl.) He owes it to her to be honest.

I suggest you just lay back and love what you two had for what it was. A one night stand. If you truly feel bad you won't do this again, and you will stop flirting.

[Asker]

Thank you girl :)

[Stacyzee]

NP :) good luck

[dave216]

Well, you have done nothing wrong. You have no obligation to anyone but yourself. He has done something wrong because he has an agreement with his girlfriend that he is violating. You have no agreement with her.

It won't be a popular opinion, but I say, if you are happy with this occasional interlude, keep it. It only happens occasionally, it is great fun to do something naughty like that, and as long as your discreet you may actually be making everyone sex life a bit better.

[sikoo31]

you should tell his girlfriend that you're a terrible person who has had sex with her boyfriend, you'll only be telling the truth...

and tell her you feel stupid for liking a guy who cheats on a girl he's been with for 5 years and think he won't just cheat on you too. again its only the truth...

[dudeman]

silly silly girl you need to grow up

[Anonymous]

I’m dealing with the same shit :(