Caught boyfriend masturbating?

I came home from work to find my boyfriend masturbating. He said he was just getting started. and was about to go to bed. Of course I was... Show More

Updates:
He doesn't masturbate, EVER. He doesn't even like porn. That is why it was so shocking. I'm also just disgusted that he did it after completely turning me down. His sexual abuse past doesn't disturb me. I am very understanding and very supportive.
No one seems to understand. It's not that he masturbates, or looks at porn. As much as it does bother me, the REAL issue is that he lied to me about it, and continues to, after proof. And now he's leaving me. because I obviously caught him in a huge lie.

Most Helpful Guy

  • If his behavior bothers you so much, why aren't you helping him pack? Masturbating and having sex are two different things. Both pleasant, but very different. Sex carries a lot of burdens with it. He has to devote a lot more time and effort to take care of your needs. He can masturbate and get to sleep in a couple minutes. What I suspect went wrong here is you embarrassed him, especially after catching him you did some research and kept pushing the issue. Some of us have very delicate feelings, even though we usually hide them. He is embarrassed and hurt and he is leaving rather than live with the shame he feels with you.

    Asker upvoted
    • Were you able to smooth it out? I can tell your a very caring partner, but you were hurt also. I wish I could give you some sure fire way of smoothing his feelings and yours. It will be a shame if this minor missunderstanding puts an end to the two of you.