Is it wrong to have a boyfriend but also text other guys?

Question

it's not like me and the other guys are sexting or even talking about that kind of stuff. There like normal conversations like hey how are you blah blah blah and so on. I never told my boy friend that I text other guys and the other night he asked me if I do and I told him yes. He got a little upset maybe even mad and he asked why I didn't tell him that I texted other guys. I didn't find it a big deal so I simply replies, "well you never asked." is there something wrong with me texting and talking to guys? That seems to be all I have is guy friends. He gets kind of jealous. How do I talk to him about this?Girls, do you text other guys? Guys, how do you/ would you feel if your girl friend was talking to other guys.should I stop talking to my guy friends as much as I do? or is it no big deal?

Capoeria_King · Accepted Answer

I can understand where your boyfriend is coming from although texting probably wouldn't bother me that much as long as it's just that. If most of her friends were guys though that's something I'd question because in many cases men that are friends with women want to sleep with them. '

Put the shoe on the other foot If he texts other women and the majority of his friends were women you wouldn't be a little suspicious? What if you met his two closest friends and they were both fairly attractive women that wouldn't bother you at all? Men are territorial to a certain extent think of a lion fighting off another lion who's trying to mate with his woman lol. Now if he goes into a jealous rage and can't control himself that's a problem but I think his initial reaction is somewhat normal especially if he cares about you.

Reginelli · Accepted Answer

By how you explained it, it would be fine with me. Because it seems like they are just friends and have been your friends for a while. I'm fine with that as long as its just friendly conversation and they are not trying to get with her. As far as how to talk to him... try to explain to him that they are friends and have always just been friends and will remain friends. Try and let him know that if they do come on to you that would you end it with that person. It may have just took him by surprise and he will get over it once you two talk about it.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

I text other guys all the time. Now that I come to think about it my boyfriend doesn't know either, I guess I just thought the same as you that it isn't that much of a big deal. As long as you're not being really flirty or anything, then I'd have thought it would be fine. Maybe he has trust issues, or is just scared that you'll leave him for one of these other guys? Tell him that they're just your friends, and reassure him that it's nothing more than that, he should be fine about it. And if he isn't, he shouldn't be allowed to dictate who you're friends with.

eithyy · Accepted Answer

It shouldn't be an issue if they're just friends. However, your boyfriend doesn't seem to get that. Try to explain it to him. If he's jealous no matter what, well...that would raise a red flag for me.

xshadow37 · Answer

Texting other guys isn't wrong, but finding out that you had and he had no knowledge tend to make guys nervous, especially if the majority of your friends are guys.  I wouldn't call it trust issues, maybe just a little self concious about what the other guys offer that he isn't.  Simple jealousy.  It happens. You don't have to stop texting them, but let your guy know that they are just friends.  Women can act the same way as well, an everyone just needs a little assurance once in a while.

Jonny_ · Answer

It doesn't bother me, but to be honest I don't trust other guys with her... I mean it's never been an issue that I'm worried she'll cheat, more that a guy would force himself on her. Which I'll admit makes me abit protective. I don't restrict her though since I have female friends who are of course just friends and I'd never do anything either.

TC123 · Answer

Imagine a guy who is in a relationship/married who has lots and lots of lady friends and talks to them on a regular basis behind his wife's back - no harm, right? I mean, girls do it, no biggie, she's controlling, eh, WRONG.

You need to show him there's nothing there - once he says that those guys are just bsing about work, sports, the weather it'll put his mind at ease. Because that's all it is, correct? No flirty stuff, no I'm alone wanna hang out, no if you and him split up I'd love to get with you, no late night drunk dials, etc etc etc.

CuriousEddie · Answer

Is it only a little bit of flirting?   It isn't like webcam or meeting people?  If it isn't, then I don't think its a big deal.

sylar · Answer

I agree with the other posters.  He should only be concerned if they're trying to hit on you or steal you away from them.  You have to tell him what you wrote in your question that you love him and only him and the other guys have no influence on you.

matty1 · Answer

yeahh... umm... that's a no brainer! how would you feel if you really liked him and he did that to you? and don't say you wouldn't care because that still makes it wrong! just don't do it.

Ljwalker112 · Answer

I understand where he is coming from I feel the same as him when my girlfriend does it but I don't want her stop being friends with him, maybe the best thing you could do is just cut down on texting them and don't do it in front of him. Just talk to him about it I'm sure I'd help

Anonymous · Answer

Put yourself in his shoes. If you found out he texts many other ladies out there. How would you feel. You trust your partner, and he trusts you, but it cannot be helped that human nature will always make us insecure. Him feeling fear is good... fear lets us know we are onto something important and he treasures you so much. But you are making him worried and insecure. Just imagine him going to a club with his male friends only just to purely have fun. He won't flirt with anyone but it drives you crazy cos you aren't there to watch him and see if other girls join their table or throw themselves at him. And if you dont think that its possible because you trust him or you think he isn't good looking enough for that to happen. You might be a little more shallow than you let on

Anonymous · Answer

What do you talk about?

If it's just school, work, buddy stuff conversations about sports or whatever that don't last long that is fine. Flirty stuff won't go over well and romantic, intimate/sexual stuff is a really bad idea.

Also, I can almost guarantee you that most of those "guy friends" aren't after you for your mind either.

Is it wrong to have a boyfriend but also text other guys?

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