Sexual Health
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He called out his ex's name during sex...

So this guy and I started dating and we were getting really close... A few days ago one of his ex girlfriends tried getting me really really jealous and tried to break us up. We fought but the guy and I talked it out and he assured me he was over her and I was the one he wanted. She seemed to be set on that he was ignoring her and all that so I believed him... I was at his house and we were having sex and he called out her name.. I immediately got off him and started crying. He says he didn't even realize he called her name... and I am the only one he wants. He doesn't care for her. He said he called her name because he's had a lot going through his head, including the fight he had with her earlier that day where they cussed each other out. I saw him log onto his facebook earlier that day and I saw an IM between him and her, all I saw was one of the FB hearts but he quickly turned the screen away from me and deleted the IM. After he called me her name he began crying as well... and beating himself up calling himself names and such... he continuously told me he wanted me and no one else but I didn't want him to touch me anymore. I feel like he still has feelings for her, even if he doesn't realize. He got rid of everything that reminds him of her and deleted all her contacts... but I don't want him to juts ignore her I want him to be over her! I wanted to leave right away... but was worried he would hurt himself :/ so I stayed the night... slept somewhere else and left in the morning when I could be sure he was taken care of... I still care for him... but I can't trust him... and I don't know if I believe him when he says he cares for me and no one else... I'm not sure what to do right now. We've been keeping in contact... should I put myself on the line and trust him... maybe it was just a slip up.. or is he in love with this girl and he's trying to use me as a consolation because he can't be with her due to her family...
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Most Helpful Girls

  • He had to have her on the brain to say her name. I mean anybodys name in the whole world he had to say hers. I think if you saw a heart and he hid it then that's not a good sign. I would want him to call her or something in front of me and tell her she ain't sh*t to leave him alone because he's moved on with you. If he ain't willing to do that then there's still something going on between them. She must also expect attention from him for some reason if she said he was ignoring her then does she not know its over? Seems shady. Boys can lie and cry and everything. Actions speak louder then words and even tears. Go through his phone records, block her on his fb.

  • No. You are in for a lot of heart ache here with this guy.If the sex is great and you don't mind being the rebound girl then friends with benefits is what you'll be and you wil never progress to me. His mind is telling you one thing but his heart is clearly telling you something else. SorryYes, it is true when someone calls you someone else's name but most guys have enough common sense to not do it and NEVER do it while having sex.Why would you want tobe with someone who doesn't even know your name?

  • Uh, if you had to put your boyfriend on basically suicide watch I think you need to get out of the relationship because it sounds unhealthy. I know you probably love him but the boy needs help.

    • I agree wholeheartedly with this comment. It may have been an honest mistake on his part, but the whole relationship sounds unhealthy to me and definitely bears watching.

Most Helpful Guys

  • it happens to me very often, I go to collage an then back to home. I have to best friends, when I back to home where my friends Ilhan, I call him Orhan (Orhan is from collage), it is because of habit. And vise verse.

    So, it is just a tongue habit, believe me.

    He already felt sorry for that and deleted all his contacts. It is sign that he after you, not her.

    Trust him. It is a tongue habit.

    Don't make ruin the relation because of just a tongue habit.

    • two best friends*

    • when I go back to home where my friend Ilhan is* he is after you*

  • You should NOT make a big deal out of it. He may not have even been thinking of her, and even if he was, that's OK too. With sex, people often need to fantasize in order to 'get off'. People will often use a name they are familiar with, not thinking.

    This is the main reason why the terms "Honey", "Dear", "Sweetums", etc. were invented, and why smart guys use them to refer to their girlfriends and wives!

    • Or why you always get the same name in a girlfriend. Smart men think ahead of the pack.

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What Girls & Guys Said

1 5

  • damn that sucks.

    leave him is my advice lol it obviously hurt you deeply, and if you stay, waht if he does it again?

    you don't wanna risk that.

  • That's why you should keep your mouth shut when your f***ing. I never think of the girl I am f***ing, I always pretend I am f***ing a celebrity.

    • Wow you must be f***ing some fugly girls then =P.

    • Well at the start I think of her. However after the 15-20th time...

  • Unfortunately it could happen at any time to anyone even when your not having sex. EG you have an argument with someone and shout out "Fuck you dad!" or something along those lines. May just relate to those emotions so much with that person their emotions take over and they forget who they are talking to. Take it with a grain of salt though and make sure your not getting screwed over. Just saying here, but he needs to get over her.

    • "May just relate to those emotions so much with that person their emotions take over and they forget who they are talking to" so would that mean he was thinking about his ex when they were having sex?

    • No. He may have just associated those emotions with his ex because she was the only one he had those kind of strong emotions for so far. Like I said, he may very well not be entirely over her.

  • Don't worry boUt it

  • he sees you the same way he sees his ex ... as nothing but a set of holes that he can put his d*** in. he calls out her name because that's just the name he's used to saying

    • and you'll find that most of us guys are the same way

  • It was a mistake let it go

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