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ya that's a good healthy relationship mentality, only do things for him if and only if he gives you something of equal or greater value. Don't do things to please him, just do them so you will ultimately be the one who benefits. and why wouldn't you LET him eat you out? I think I may be confused about the question...
Tell him the only way you will give him an amazing BJ is if he will wine you, dine you, 69 you!
And then tell him that as good of a job as he does on you, you will do on him.
Trust me, he will eat Pu$$y like there was no tomorrow.
Let him go down on you, but be sure and guide him on how to do it right.