Does my fwb want more? He keeps avoiding me now..

[Anonymous]

Long story short, My ex broke up with me because of my insecurities and I kept constantly accusing him of things and pushing him away. I was also kinda high maintenance at times. Anyway, I decided to smooth things over and talk to him. I ended up inviting him to go get lunch with me. However, I canceled at the last minute because I had something come up. He was not super happy about it but said that we could reschedule. So the rest of the weekend he texted me asking to hang out, but I told him I was busy and to get back to me on Sunday. Come Sunday morning he texts me and asks me what I'm doing. I tell him I'm going to the movies, but he's more than welcome to come along with my friend and I. He shows up and requests to sit next to me. The whole time he keeps comparing the couple in the movie to the both of us when were dating and claims that the main character is a lot like me in that she was too afraid of a commitment. So after the movie he asks me to dinner, and I say only if my friend comes along too. So during dinner, he spends the whole time with my friend and I talking about when we dated, all the funny stories about us, and just everything regarding the two of us being together. My friend had to go, so my ex and I agreed to go and talk. I started asking him what he thought about fwbs and if you can do that without having feelings for the other person. He said that he did not agree that you couldn't have feelings for a friends with benefit. So I asked him if he wanted to do a fwbs with me, and he said that he would do it. So we went back to his place and he started talking about how he wished that we had worked out, how much he cared about me, how he still has all the pictures that I sent him, and that he hasn't been with anyone else since me. Basically, kept talking about when we were together and how I just kept pushing him away. So he leaned over and kissed me. It was super passionate though. And then we had sex, and he came right away. After we were done, he leaned over and kept trying to spoon and cuddle me. I just pushed him away, and told him that fwbs don't do that. he then started claiming he was feeling really sick and like he was gonna throw up and pass out. This lasted for awhile. He asked me to go home, and then a little while later messaged me on facebook. He was being all sweet and nice saying that he wanted to go on a trip with me for spring break. I told him that fwbs don't do that. The next day I texted him asking if he wanted to hook up. He told me he was busy, and that life is more than just sex. How always asking him for sex makes me sound kinda slutty. He continues to comment on every one of my face book statuses and this weekend he asked me what I was doing at like 4pm. I told him I'm busy, but I will be done by 11 if he wanted to hang out. No response. I texted him today, and asked him what he was doing today. He said "not a lot I've been busy" then never texted me back. Why is he avoiding me?

[shay135]

why is he avoiding you? you had a fwbs with a guy who SAID that he still liked you and wished you had worked out and then when he asked if you guys could hang oyu just said "fwbs can't do that". he wanted to hang out! you can't say no and tell him you're busy when he asks to hang then expect him to have sex with you without still liking you. if he liked you before you have a fwbs then he'll like you afterward. he sounds like a nice guy and you can't let him be your friend? just because you hooked up? if you think so much of the fact that "fwbs don't do that" then don't be such a hypocrite. you shouldn't care if he's avoiding you if you think that way.

[Asker]

He never said that he still liked me, he was just talking about when we were still together. And he broke up with me! So I assumed he doesn't like me anymore you know? I would have thought if he agreed to having sex with me and being a fwbs, he'd be more into me and initiating the sex part. No, I can be his friend, but he agreed to having a fwbs relationship. He's sure not agreeing to sex when I ask him to though. And well, I'm trying to get him to hook up with me more and he won't do it.

[shay135]

well when he said that he wished you guys had worked out, I'm pretty sure taht was him regretting breaking up with you. ask him if he wants more than a fwbs because that's definitly what it sounds like.

[Asker]

It's kinda hard to ask him if he hasn't gotten back to my text messages today. My friends and I are going out for drinks tonight. Do you think that I should ask him if he wants to come?

[shay135]

i think it seems a bit late to reply to your comment but I think that sounded like a good idea.

[Asker]

Should I ask him to b my valentine now looking at my updates?

[shay135]

sounds like a good idea if you want to. good luck.

[toulouse]

Wy would you say friends with benefits do not cuddle then cuddle with him and 'make' him kiss you? are you trying to play games?

if you like him tell him. if you don't let it go. I don't understand what the issue is. he's talking to you. he is not ignoring you. he talks about the past. why can't you talk to him.

[juice1]

He's annoyed with you. It seems like the only thing he wants is to be back together with you again. He doesn't want just FWB

[Asker]

Then he should tell me that. He agreed to it, so I didn't know that he would be wanting to get back together with me. He broke up with ME!

[juice1]

he agreed to it just to be with you. "So we went back to his place and he started talking about how he wished that we had worked out, how much he cared about me, how he still has all the pictures that I sent him, and that he hasn't been with anyone else since me. Basically, kept talking about when we were together and how I just kept pushing him away. So he leaned over and kissed me"----a guy won't say this for no reason. he hasn't said it yet but he wants to be with you. he broke up with you

[juice1]

(cont.) cause YOU drove him away. that doesn't mean he won't commit again. have another date or talk with him and tell him to be open and honest about his feelings

[Asker]

I guess so. He should just text me or something. So how do I address the situation? Honestly, I want to be with him again too. I'm just scared to get hurt again or tell him.

[juice1]

Well for starters, try hanging out with him first and foremost. If yal are by yourselfs ask him if he wants more than fwb. Or if he brings up how he cares about you again, agree and say the same. That'll give him encouragement

[Asker]

I still have not addressed it yet. Looking at my new updates do you still think he wants a relationship? I texted him about the game and he never got back to me. Although he says I am the best ex he ever had. And his roommate called me his gf.

[juice1]

if you want to date him 1) stop pushing him away from cuddling 2) JUST ASK TO DATE HIM AGAIN. he's your ex. it shouldn't be hard