Still a virgin at 18, something wrong with me?
I just turned 18. I'm starting college in the fall and I'm still a virgin. I have never had a boyfriend and I have never liked anyone enough to have a relationship. I have a hard time trusting people, even my friends. I'm very independent and the reason why is that I've been forced to stand up for myself because of my father constantly putting me down. I don't have any feelings towards him. Even though it's not my mom or my brothers fault I have a very hard time caring. This has affected other relationships in my life. A couple of years ago I started going down a really bad path with lots of alcohol and random hook ups. I skipped school and did whatever whenever I wanted to. People started thinking of me as a slut and the "party girl". Alcohol somehow became my comfort and sometimes I would drink alone in my bedroom just to feel better. Somehow though I managed to keep my grades up and I've always had my goals. I would say things are good now. I have more control over my life now because I want to be better. I haven't hooked up with anyone for many many months because I don't want to be that girl. I have never had sex even though I've been pressured a lot simply because I feel I have more self respect than that. My friends keep commenting about how I should just do it and most of them have lost it with some random guy at a party. I'm not like that. The thing is that I don't want to have sex with some random guy and I don't want a relationship because I can't deal with the commitment right now. Frankly I feel completely alone because I'm afraid to be vulnerable. Has anyone been in the same situation? Is it strange that I'm still a virgin when I'm 18?
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What I seem to be getting from this is "I went out with a lot of different guys, and lots of them wanted me to go all the way with them, but I maintained too much respect for myself to do that"
You have problems, but being a virgin isn't one of them in any way, eventually you'll meet a guy you can open up to.
In the meantime find some friends who you can be comfortable around, that friendly support network makes all the difference. Since you're going to college I'd recomend that you look for some peers who you can fit in with. If you have any doubt about the lifestyle you could have had than just sit down and think about what you're passing up and wether you really want that or are just trying to be what everyone else wants.
"if you try pleasing everyone you'll end up pleasing no one including yourself"- Aesop