Sexual Health
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He wants me to return the favor and go down on him, but I don't have the desire to do so. Am I being selfish?

I let this guy go down on me because he asked me if he could. It was the first time that anyone had done that and I did enjoy it. He had been asking me for a L-O-N-G time, I mean years and I finally gave in a couple of months ago. He has done it three times and every time he has asked and there has been some discussion, but I have let him. But.that is not something that I want to do to him. He says that I am being selfish by taking and not giving. The way I see it is that I let him because he likes to do it so much and I wanted to let him do it. He says that is not the way it works and he was helping ME out. He wants me to return the favor. I feel as though I don't have to because it don't have that desire to do that to him. What is your opinion?
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Most Helpful Guys

  • yes you are being selfish.

    it 2008, oral is standarded, for both men and women and every boyfriend you every have will expect it. Right now you are broken (not a properly functioning girlfriend) and your boyfriend is doing the gentlmanly thing in trying to repair you.

    Its even more selfish because its not you don't like, it that your too lazy to try. You may really enjoy it.

    If you do deceed to go down on him you are allowed to complain about hygine and get him to wash the old chap before you start. Tell him to use lots of soap because his penis is very big.

    If you don't change your mind and decide not to go down on him, then get use to this situation because you will have the exact same problem with every boyfriend you have.

    • How would you know his penis was big? Unless she's talking about you. Is that it? Either way, I think you're generally right. These days I don't think any man is going to be satisfied unless he's getting at least some oral sex. Not giving to a guy is almost like you're trying to convince him to look elsewhere for what he wants.

    • A girl said that to me once and it was funny. Asking a chap to clean his willy is an awkard situation and I was suggesting it as a way to clear the air or turn it into a complement..

  • I think he enjoys giving and getting; however, you have to be talked into getting and have no desire to give. I think he's pathetic to have begged you to let him go down on you. Now he's being even more pathetic by wanting you to return the favor.

    My opinion; he needs a new girlfriend (and a backbone).

    • I totally agree with this guy lol

    • I agree

    • @claydough18 you do?

Most Helpful Girls

  • i think you should do what feels right. and have you considered the fact that you may have been pressured and manipulated into doing that in the first place, well, that's me being pessimistic, I'm should he had good intentions, but still, don't you find it a little weird that he had to pester you until you finally let him,

    Hmmm, I'm not sure, I don't think he's quite soo innocent!

    but as I said don't do anything you don't want to, and NO means NO! lol that is soo cliched(I no I can't spell) anyway, if YOU don't want to then DON'T. you may later regret it

    soo I hope iv helped.

    Tooodles! xoxox

    • I don't feel pressured. I was just that he had asked me jokingly a few times and then seriously a few times over the years and then more until one day I called him on it. He was suprised when I said "okay lets do it right now." I enjoyed it, but it is not something that I want to do to him. You are exactly right. I don't want to do it and I am NOT going to do it. I have stated that to him.

  • I could give the lovely 'don't do what you don't want' speech, but that is a given. it's your body, your mouth, and your choice. If he thinks it is that big of a deal, let him go elsewhere for it. Some people will not do oral and others should respect that.

    On the flip side, though, it is something many men and women expect today. That's how it is. It's not one of my favorite things to do, so I just give in for a little bit and he's happy.

    And no, it's not selfish, no matter what ANY guy says. But if you won't give, try not to receive. It nullifies his argument.

    • That is what I said. We should just stop doing it.

  • Your not being fair.If you don't suck that coock girl he is going to find a girl that does and swallows his CUM. Trust me their are a lot of women out there that do this, because they know what pleases a man and they want to make their man happy. If this guy doesn't mean anything to you you need to tell him so he can move on. When I met my husband We both jumped on each others shit and that's all that matter. he was sucking down my juices and I was chuggin his sperm. If you don't have that your sex life with him will suck.

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • I think if its not painful for you or anything like that then every so often you should just let him have his fun. You may start to like it. But then if there's something you wanna try you should tell him and same go's for that on his side

  • why did he have to beg you. why didn't you want him to. didn't you think you would like it?

    • I really think it has to do with the way I was raised. That was looked down on. It was considered dirty and fornicating. I think that is still in the back of my mind. But, really I have no desire to stick that in my mouth. I guess I could give in and do it, but I am not feeling it (no pun intended)

  • I don't think you are being unreasonable. Tell him that you are uncomfortable and that he doesn't have to continue to do it if he doesn't want to.

  • Yes you are.

  • Hell yes your being selfish there's nothing wrong with returning the favor ,its not like he asked to put it in your ass

  • yes althogh I've gotten 1000 bjs and given it twice lol

    my case is special

  • You don't have to do anything you don't wanna do.

  • I actually don't care if the girl does or does not want to go down on me. If the girl don't wanna go down on me, then that means I can be eating her out longer

  • Not at all. You have no obligation to do so.

  • He just asked you to let him go down on you because he thought that then he could make you go down on him. That's bull****.

  • I'm not sure if it's accurate to say that you're 'selfish'. Sex shouldn't be an exchange of favors.

    It seems like this was a one-off with a guy you weren't dating. I guess you're 'selfish' in the sense you really just used him for pleasure with no desire to pleasure him. I guess you're not actually sexually interested in him at all. Still he offered. He gave you the impression he was excited to do it regardless of anything else happening.

    If this was a boyfriend, i would still not say you were selfish, but i would say in that case most people would consider you a pretty bad sex partner.

  • Yes you are being selfish. Do you enjoy what he does? Than return the favor

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Home >  Sexual Health  > He wants me to return the favor and go down on him, but I don't have the desire to do so. Am I being selfish?