So ... what's our relationship status?

[Anonymous]

I've been dating a guy for a month now. I'm 23 and he's 26. Both of us have semi busy independent lives. Our first two dates were mellow, he and I just hung out, at dinner, went to a movie and he hugged me at the end of each. He's a bit shy, very respectful too and a great listener. He makes me laugh and we flirt with each other quite a bit. The rest of our dates went like this ... third - dinner and movie at my place, he kissed me and we made out that night for a while, no sex. fourth - beach date, movie at my place which led to oral sex, not all the way. I'm a virgin and I told him I'm not ready, I need more time. He was totally understanding of it and said we shouldn't rush it. fifth - dinner during the week, goodnight kiss sixth - movie at my place, oral again. seventh - lunch date, goodbye kiss So, we're mixing it up, not making it completely physical. I wanted to make sure our chemistry superseded sex lol. A We talked about where we were headed and due to his past girlfriend who was kinda a drama nut, he said he isn't ready for anythign serious and wants a relationship in a no pressure situation, no emotional rollercoasters and no boyfriend/girlfriend talk. I told him that was fine with me, drama is never help anyways, but that I would need to be exclusive and no FWB. He's like, for sure that was a given. And he said, so we're dating I guess. This was after our second date when we hadn't even kissed yet. We've had 4 dates after this and I know he likes me and we have chemistry. I'm just not sure how to approach us from here on? Pretend like I don't care what we are? Just go with the flow? I really appreciate his honesty and the fact we both agreed right off the bat to be exclusive. But, when can we have another "talk" and how long can it continue to be just "casual dating"? His behavior in between dates is pretty nice ... he texts me every morning to say hi and I let him pursue me, although once in a while I'll take the initiative to make a move. Also, V-Day is coming up. We're meeting up I'm sure this weekend, but I shouldn't expect anythign right? Thanks!

[Imjustagirl14]

I have a friend who has been in an "exclusive relationship" for about 18 months. He won't say they are boyfriend and girlfriend after 18 MONTHS! She is very emotional and dramatic which may be part of the problem. He also says he won't get into a relationship with her until he's over his ex who he dated for 3 years. He's a perfect gentleman and an awesome guy. However, I think he's being ridiculous for obvious reasons. Don't let yourself get sucked into this kind of relationship that you cannot break free from. What this guy doesn't realize is that if their is no relationship status for too long, you will end up becoming an emotional rollercoaster. This is a natural reaction because if you love someone, and you don't know where you stand, you will over analyse things and get very upset, especially if he says things like, "I still want to be with you even though I can't fully commit to a status". You should ask him how long it will take him to be able to say you are in a relationship, because it is only fair that you know, so that you can work things out for yourself. If he freaks out then I would say this is extremely selfish of him. I wouldn't bring it up on Valentine's day though.

[Asker]

You're right, waiting too long for him to come to grips IS going to annoy me lol. How do I even bring that question up of how long it might take for him to be okay with us becoming a little more steady? I don't want to push him too fast, I really do like him. I'm acctually personally okay with taking it slow because we're both so busy anyways for a serious relationship.

[wirelesspirate]

Send him a facebook relationship invite. If he accepts it, then stop worrying... that is him telling his friends and family that he is with you.

For V day just get him some chocolates (nothing too too lovey)

[Asker]

We aren't even FB friends yet lol. I think he wanted to be on our second date, cause he mentioned something in passing, but I never picked up on it at that time. Now if I "search him out" on FB (and I have lol) and friend him, he might think I wanna just do a relationship request. I'm actually totally fine if we don't do the FB thing ... its overrated lol. I didn't wanna bring up the whole "what are we" talk before V day because it might put pressure on him. Should I after V day tho?