Sexual Health
+1 y

I don't want my boyfriend to come in my mouth...?

How do I tell him? We were having phone sex, cos it's long-distance. I don't like phone-sex and he knows that, but I do it for him. He was saying do you want to drink me? Now by this point he was really hard, and he'd just been saying how he wanted to "drink" me... I didn't want to ruin things, so I said yes. And he said how are you going to do that? So I said suck him hard... Bare in mind that I find this pretty uncomfortable, my boyfriend is 26 and I'm 18, and I had hardly any sexual experiences before him. I wouldn't say I would NEVER let him come in my mouth, but I need more time, I'm still trying to get used to giving bjs at all, and I have to say that I don't enjoy them anyway... He always grabs onto my head and starts pumping against the back of my throat until I'm gagging and if I pull away he holds it there. I'm also scared if he cums that it's going to hit the back of my throat and make me gag even more or what if it tastes really bad? I wish I wasn't so scared and I really want to make him happy and I didn't know what to say when he asked me, I would have ruined the mood. But I don't want to upset him and I don't know how to tell him... what should I do?
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Most Helpful Girls

  • OK first of all it's nice that you want to do something nice for your boyfriend, but def don't do anything that is gonna make you uncomfortable because it's pointless if your not going to enjoy it also.

    I'd say if your gonna try it, then make sure you tell him to not grab the back of your head like that, I don't really like when guys try to push my head down, either. That will help to make sure that when he starts to come just take him out of your mouth a little so he's not so far in, so that way it'll be away from your throat. Just swallow as he cums and you'll taste it less. It's really not that bad, but it's def harder if you convince yourself that it is. Good luck :o)

  • Talk to him about it when you aren't having phonesex or fooling around. Tell him, "I don't enjoy it when I'm giving you a blowjob and you grab my head, hit the back of my throat, or hold my me there when I try to pull away. I'm also not sure if I'm ready to have you come in my mouth just yet. I need you to allow me to be in control when I'm going down on you."

    If he's a good guy, the only reason he might be upset is because he didn't realize he was making you feel uncomfortable. If he isn't willing to stop doing those things, then you need to ask yourself if you really want to be with someone who isn't willing to respect you.

  • If you're uncomfortable you really need to discuss this with him. But if you don't want him to come in your mouth, just say something like you want to see him come and "finish him off" with your hands... But if you notice that he's consistently making you feel uncomfortable and things are moving too fast, consider having a good talk about it - most importantly, look after yourself.

Most Helpful Guys

  • Absolutely tell him.

    No sexual activity should make you scared or upset.

    Even leaving aside the age difference, he should know better.

    It's rude to grab a girls head and force-pump into her mouth, unless she has okayed that particular behaviour.

    You're only 18 and inexperienced, so believe me when I tell you, this guy is a asshole, and is treating you terribly. No girl his own age would let him get away with that sort of sh*t.

    My advice would be to dump this motherf***er as soon as humanly possible. He's trash.

  • Tell him straight. Gentle but straight. That he has to give you time and space and to be more gentle! If he loves you, he won't mind. Such things later on may make you hate sex, if only he enjoys it. So tell him how you feel. Don't be afraid of that! Tell him that you said things and did things for him. But he has to let you make things yout way. And to slow down. And if you are afraid, take it step by step. make him come and taste it first. You may even like it. Who knows. Just be straight with him and talk about things.

    • thanks for your answer... I think your right and I wll tell him... I asked this to the guy below too, but do you think he would like it if I told him next time during phone sex I wanted him to come on my t*ts? like that way he doesn't have to do it in my mouth and I could still taste it after...

    • Tell him that. It won't kill him or anything :D. And I would consider it wery hot if I see girl tasting it.

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What Girls & Guys Said

5 8

  • Ok first of all... DONT do anything if you are not ready for it! If he really likes you and wants to be with you than he won't be upset when you tell him that you are not fully ready for this and you don't feel so comfortable with givign bjs.

    If he should get upset...well my dear: he's not worth it then!

  • He seems a bit controlling and I'm not sure why a girl your age would be dating a guy that is 26. I'm 18 and the guy I'm seeing is 25, but he would never go farther than I wanted...and when your guy keeps your head down like that...my guy would never do. If you guys have a lot in common and the age gap is really no concern, then you should have a pretty good relationship. One that you shouldn't be afraid to tell him what's on your mind. (:

  • Seriously a sexual experience should be a shared and mutual enjoyment, if something he does scares/upset you then tell him straight up, tell him you don't enjoy what he's doing and that he should be more gentle with you...and that being gagged makes you extremely uncomfortable. If he really likes you then he would understand and no repeat such actions, if he doesn't, then you know just how much he really likes you..

  • "You're not coming in my mouth."

    • lol I wish it was that easy...

    • It is that easy. Why wouldn't it be? That's exactly how I'm used to hearing it.

    • well what if he just gets offended?

    • Show All

  • Listen,just flat out say it.I had to tell a guy the same thing when I first gave him a BJ.And you know what he said?..."Okay". And that was it.He didn't come in my mouth or hold my head.Secondly,if you are so afraid of telling him this,then you SHOULDN't be with him and vice versa. Being able to talk about such things is part of a being in a relationsip.

  • Yikes. Sounds like a bit of an unbalanced relationship. It'll be over soon enough I would expect.

  • The taste of a guys come depends on what he eats. Sometimes its ehh okay and sometimes really gross. But you don't really have to tell him you're not gonna swallow, just simple change it up and tell him how about he cums on your breast or somewhere on your body that he'd like.

  • He should easily be able to accommodate not cum'n in your mouth. Esp. since he knows your sexual exp. b4 him was minimal.

  • Just say 'No'.

  • stop letting him put his hand on your head. first, don't feel pressured. if you want to try tasting some at first don't try to take the whole load. so you can at least see if you like it

    • do you think he would find it hot if I told him next time during phone sex that I want him to come on my t*ts? I thought that could be a way round it...

    • I can't honestly speak for him. but I'd be totally satisfied with that. who knows maybe he will to just try it. won't hurt

  • DON'T do something your not comfortable with really, just tell him your still uncomfortable with giving him a BJ and if he doesn't understand that then you should think again about your relationship, a guy needs to have respect for your opinion, just tell him you still need time and wanna cut it out a bit till you are comfortable, I'm sure he'll understand!**

  • Trust me, it'll never taste good. And WHY would you let him gag you like that? That's totally disrespectful. Why would you even give him anymore after that? That's like a staple way that men humiliate and disrespect women in p*rn, forcing oral on them like that. And yes, it will be bad if he cums while he does that crap to you. Seriously girl, don't let him treat you like a whore. Just tell him during "don't grab my head" when you are giving him oral, and ask him to tell you when his is going to cum, that way you can pull away. You don't have to let him do it in your mouth, I know its probably disgusting and I wouldn't ask a girl to do it.

    Just put yourself first, do what you're okay with and do it however its comfortable, DO NOT let him force your head, or come in your mouth, just be yourself and he SHOULD appreciate you. If not, why is he so great anyway? Don't worry about making him happy, if he doesn't care about you being happy.

    • Better yet, if you insist on a "nicer" approach to this not so nice guy, pull your head away and say something like "I can do it myself" when he goes to grab your head. That will tell him that you don't want that, without being direct.

  • Just take it in the mouth damn. If a girl didn't wanna take it in the mouth then I wouldn't give her oral simple as that.

    • lol I'm surprised any girl even bothers with you

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