How pathetic is it to be a male, a guy who is still a virgin in his early 20's? should I just pay a hooker?

[Anonymous]

I have Asperger Syndrome so that has to be the main reason why I am still a virgin and can't get a girlfriend, never had one, I've asked girls out before only to get rejected. So, should I just go to a hooker or an escort to get the Monkey off my back? How weird and pathetic is it to still be a virgin in your early 20's? or throughout your 20's?

[amameninas]

I will dispense with any "judgments"

My 19 yo son has Asperger's.

Adult Autism. You are verbal, but have difficulties with normal emotional reactions.

Not pathetic. It is a condition you may be able to manage by self control and maybe meds.

I support your idea but not a hooker (streetwalker) or escort (call girl). The social baggage will confuse you and leave you unhappy with the experience. Go to an Asian Health Spa. You see them along the highway. Pay for a $40 bath and massage. Leave your wallet in your car and carry cash. When you undress, put another $80 on the table in plain site by your clothes. She will know you want extras. Tell her you want "everything" when she asks. She will be Chinese or Thai and can't make casual conversation. Conceal your "weirdness" and enjoy the experience. There are places on the net where you can read more about the protocol in Asian Health Spas. Good luck, son. I think could be helpful for you. Marrying a foreign born Asian with poor English may be a choice for you because they will not be sensitive to the nuances of Asperger's. If you are a decent guy, they will be fine. You might even marry one out of the spa!

[Asker]

yeah but having asperger syndrome is much worse if you are a guy than a girl with asperger syndrome, because us guys have the burden, chore of having to initiate everything

[WeaponZero]

30 y/o aspie here and I have to say I laughed at your idea, lol. Anyway, I did go through what he's going through now although I never considered a hooker. It's a matter of finding things in life that keep you happy, whether they involve sex or not.

[willytheg]

Don't think in terms like being "pathetic" because you haven't gotten laid yet. You have a long way to go. But I would advise you to get over the "wham, bam. thank you ma'am stuff or you probably won't be getting it from the same woman twice.

A woman's physiological responses are much slower than mens. esp. young men's. They are also stimulated sexually by different things, less visual and more emotional. Their bodies produce a bonding hormone, Oxytocin, which seems to play a much greater role in their sexual response than men. There is some truth to the romantic evening-at least the first time; before you sweep everything off the table and f*** like crazy. Most women take a long time to get to the orgasmic plateau-the point of no return. The great part about that is that some women will stay aroused longer and are capable of a couple of orgasms while you are still at half mast.

[Anonymous]

guys don't have to initiate everything, there are girls that initiate, it's just very rare, but do what you want.

[toulouse]

@I don't see the point of saving it anymore

whats the point of 'losing' it..?

[WeaponZero]

Agreed.

[toulouse]

=-)

[Asker]

whats wrong with just wanting to lose it

[toulouse]

nothing is 'wrong' but since you are talking about POINTS.. I was wondering what the point is. there is also nothing 'wrong' with not losing it. so I'm not sure just wanting to lose it , is a point. I think its a feeling why do you care tho? just wondering..

[Asker]

because I hate being a minority

[toulouse]

You don't have to talk about it. its none of their business.

[willytheg]

I think that it took a great deal of courage to post that question. That alone makes you far from pathetic. It simply happens to be the case. There are a few well-intentioned tantric massage practitioners who could give you the attention that you might need.

I would think that their are support groups that you could attend and possibly meet someone who understands the social inhibitions that accompany (from my limited understanding of Asperger's). Once you/they get beyond the discomfort I imagine you have in social situations, I would think that you would have the same chance of success in a relationship that anyone else has.

Good luck, I hope the bravery it took for you to post that serves you well.

[cjwright79]

Why would it be pathetic? It's fine.

[Asker]

you know people 21 or older and are still virgins? or did not lose it 21 or older?

[cjwright79]

Sure, me for one.

[Asker]

how old were you when you lost it?

[cjwright79]

I haven't.

[Asker]

saving it?

[cjwright79]

No, I have no interest is procreation or fornication.

[cjwright79]

Or marriage. I think that covers all the basis.

[Rated_R]

Yeah cheaper then dating in the long run. Do what ya gotta do.

[Asker]

yeah since us guys have to do all the f***in' work in the relationship, that we have to be the "boss" in the relationship, I only enjoy being the boss or the leader when there is not much work to do, that we just get to give orders.

[Rated_R]

Yeah these bitches and their either money hungry or just dumb they don't want real relationships anymore you spend your money on them and time and effort and be the alpha male like me and they still pull their sh*t games man its not worth getting emotionaly involved anymore. F*u*c*k all bitches.

[thisGUYknows]

whew. I wish I can give you some pep talk, something morgan freeman would say. but all I can say is that confidence goes a long way. especially with girls. having a "poor me" attitude isn't gonna help at all. now that whole hooker thing can go two ways. either that will help with the confidence issue or it will give you over confidence. the girls are gonna give you a different answer but I say go with the hooker. just bein honest. use that as a stepping stone. do what you want with that advice. I look forward the hate responses from females to me

[Asker]

why are girls instinctively programmed to want confidence so much? why is it the epitome of all sexiness and attractiveness in guy? why do us guys have to be this "object of power" in order to be boyfriend material? It doesn't make any f***in' sense

[thisGUYknows]

it doesn't make sense to you cause you have never witnessed its effect. confidence is the balance between cockiness and respectability. a guy who is sure of himself radiates confidence. without thinking they're top sh*t of course. its not a power he-man thing, its just that confidence lets a girl know that this guy is sure of himself yet humble. he never has a "poor me" attitude and can hold his own. why would a girl want a guy with a weak personality who self loathes? what part of that is sexy?

[Asker]

well girls can easily give a guy confidence if they make it obvious they like him, because that makes the guy feel like "wow, a girl likes me, is interested in me" that would make me feel great about myself, but unfortuneately it doesn't work like that

[thisGUYknows]

no it doesn't. that's why you can't wait for a girl to give you confidence, you gotta have it equipped already.

[Asker]

yeah, in my opinion us guys have to work on ourselves a whole lot more than girls do in order to make ourselves relationship/dating material, well okay us guys may not have to work on ourselves like make-up wise, but character, personality, talking, attitude, socially-wise, yes.

[thisGUYknows]

its an even trade man. imho girls stress about it a lot more when they meet a guy they like. typically the guy makes the first move, but I encourage girls all the time to not be afraid to make the first move. they assume a girl making the first moves defines them as being a whore but that's not true. initiating convo does not make you a whore. don't worry about having a mass appeal towards girls. you just gotta find that one that's right for u. but you can't find something if you don't bother looking

[Asker]

yeah but why do so many bitches have to label every guy who approaches them, flirts with them, a creeper? it's like they judge a guy before they completely know them

[thisGUYknows]

true that. a lot of them do but the real women don't judge right away. they realize it takes guts for us to approach them. you just gotta find the right one man. but like I said you gotta look. the best of us get shut down every once in a while but you can't let that stop you from trying with other girls.

[Asker]

for me, I don't take rejection personally as much as I used to, it's just being labeled a creeper or stalker, what are obvious things a guy does that makes him look creepy or stalkerish?

[bellybuttonlint]

You'd be surprised how many people are virgins but never admit it. It's deemed more "pathetic" for guys but more "prized" for women. It takes a very strong person to avoid temptation...a hooker will not do it. Don't just have sex because you hate being a virgin...make sure you find the right girl to do it with...who knows what diseases that ho carries.

[MikeK]

Hey, I'm 26 and I'm just beginning my sexual prime!

[Asker]

you lost your virginity at age 26?

[MikeK]

No, but this is the most active I've been in nearly 10 years...

[Asker]

how old were you when you lost it?

[MikeK]

Well, I first penetrated a girl's vag when I was 10 (no B.S., she was 12) so obviously I didn't ejaculate. It was for only about 30 seconds or so too. Technically one could argue I'm not a virgin, but since I never ejaculated from penetrating a girl I still consider myself a virgin.

[Desires]

"I have Asperger Syndrome"

Hey, me too. Unless I was misdiagnosed, which is likely, but whatever.

"because you will be past your prime years."

Many people start having sex right at the end of their prime years anyway due to the way society views sex.

Prime years are probably 13-20 Depending on development rates.

Anyway don't get a hooker.

[bunny420]

Aww. Do whatever you want. Be safe though. No regrets.

[moviedude714]

Nothing wrong with paying for it

[Anonymous]

I lost my virginity to a prostitute when I was almost 30 and I think it's fine.

It's certainly not ideal, but I think it was good for my mental health.

Mind you I live in an area where it's legal but regulated by law to help ensure safety for the girls and preventing the spread of diseases.

[Anonymous]

Life isn't all about losing your virginity... The world likes to make it look like it is they sign of manhood. They glorify losing your virginity, its stupid. Don't worry about it man

[Asker]

yeah but most people lose it before they enter their 20's

[Opinion Owner]

Oh really says who? your friends? Sex used to be something special. Now it's thrown around like nothing