Why does porn hurt women so much?

Disclaimer: I'm not gonna generalize. I know some women don't get hurt by, and some actually enjoy, porn. Just as there are some guys who have no... Show More

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BTW, please, please, PLEASE! Don't turn this into an endless porn debate of right and wrong. I don't care about that. I need help with overcoming the pain.

Most Helpful Girl

  • I think a lot of your issue with porn stems from the fact that you are very self-conscious, especially about your looks. Many porn stars are the epitome of what we're told men want; they're usually (key word there!) beautiful, buxom, skiiny, ready to esperiment, ready for a man's pleasure at all times, etc. We can't live up to that, and I think you compare yourself to it just a bit.

    Also, for many women, it is comparable to cheating. When someone watches porn they are getting sexually aroused, enjoying the scene even if they aren't attracted to the people on the screen. Some women see it as a form of cheating. They think the guy would rather be with the girl on the screen, or that the fantasies of her will takeover his mind in their sex life, or that he is comparing them to the porn star. It all really goes back to insecurity. It is the basis of the dislike of porn and strippers, etc. and without curing it you can't help the problem.

    All women suffer from insecurity. Even supermodels. No one can live up to the perfect female image we see blasted by the media everyday. No, not even Kate Moss. It only becomes an issue when we let it take over and control parts of our lives. I'm insecure, too, but I try to work through it by remembering that he is with ME, for some reason. He loves me. He cares for me. He's seen me naked and apparently finds me attractive. I might not like what I see in the mirror because of what I compare myself to, but he likes what he sees.

    And guys think differently. They don't compare us to porn stars. Most guys are smart enough to know that most women don't look like models or Jenna Jamison. They don't expect you to. Porn is merely a fantasy, something to see and enjoy, the same way I enjoy a good picture of Brad Pitt.

    Can I suggest something? Stop worrying. I know it's hard, but try. Then, sit down and watch one with your guy. Make it more about you two sharing an arousing experience and using it as foreplay. Try not to hide from it. If it becomes something you watch together instead of something he has to hide from you, it will de-stress the situation a little. And you might just like it. It can be fun, and you can use it to get yourselves heated up.

    • Yeah, I know, but for one, I don't like it, it doesn't turn me on. And two, the whole idea of him watching porn is that he gets relieved when I'm not around. He deserves his own time, and I don't care if he hides it. It's just the fact that I get insecure, because while he thinks I'm attractive he tells me they're fantasy and that they're perfect physically, and that I'm not, but he doesn't care because I'm attractive anyway. But it hurts that he thinks they're perfect.

    • Well, if he thinks they're perfect, he's a little skewed. Most porn stars definitely don't look like that. As a matter of fact, I've seen some, well, ugly pornt stars. I think that whole "perfect" thing would bother me as well!