Should I feel guilty for wanting my girlfriend to give me head?

I just feel really guilty because she doesn't really "want" to do it. I mean I personally really LOVE to go down on her... I suppose the answers will be like I should respect her for who she is and not make a big deal out of it (though I am harboring a small sense of animosity about it).

BTW I have never "demanded" she do it, but I've learned over time it's not her "thing". I honestly feel really guilty for wanting to be pleasured and for asking such a lame question...sorry


Most Helpful Guy

  • The worst thing you could do is to feel guilty. You are man and you deserve to get a blow job from you women. You have asked a wrong question. Your question need to sound like this: "Do I deserve to get more blowjobs?"

    Obviously, you don't. And that is because you're still not a blow worthy guy. If you were, you wouldn't be hanging out on this kind of website. You will be getting regular, good blow jobs once you become a kind of guy that women don't just genuinely want to - but HAVE to blow, or - they get dumped.

    Let me get this straight to you.

    Women put guys into 2 boxes. In the first box are men that are just "made to blow", and it has MORE to do with the guys behavior (YOUR behavior) than the girls sh*tty attitude towards the blow jobs. In the other box are guys that are just "not worth the effort". What you have to do is to jump from the Wrong box (where you are now), to the Right box of Blow Jobs (where you have and deserve to be as a part of the man's world).

    Becoming a blow worthy guy is a process and it won't happen overnight. It requires to change or improve the way you think and the way you behave - at least to a certain extent.

    The 2 most important things for you to do are:

    1) Change yourself and 2) Change your girl. Simple.

    I recommend you read Jack's Blowjob Persuasion, probably the best book ever written about getting a blow job from you girl, wife, spouse or whatever she is to you.


What Girls Said 11

  • When a girl really really cares about a guy, then she wants to do anything she can to make him feel good. Until she reaches that point of really loving you, she's probably not going to want to give you head. A girl will enjoy going down on a guy she has deep feelings for. It can take a while for her to get there, but once she does, it will be worth it.

    Youre right to not demand anything of her because you don't want to feel guilty when she's blowing you that it's like a chore for her. You should wait it out because once she does genuinely want to go down on you, you're going to to enjoy it so much more knowing that she WANTS to do that for you.

    • I couldn't agree more. When you are in a sexual relationship there are plenty of things your partner will enjoy that you won't. But when you love someone you will go that extra mile just to please them. Even though it might not be something you enjoy, it won't be a hassle to you because you know you are getting your partner off. Sometimes sex isn't always about doing what you enjoy, sometimes it is about going that extra mile to please the one that you love.

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    • You let her know that she doesn't have to feel pressured to do anything until she is ready to and just being with her is enough to make you happy and satisfy you. Let her know that you don't want her to go down on you until she really WANTS to do it. That takes the pressure off her to just do it because you want her to.

      You aren't going to enjoy it thinking about the fact that she doesn't want to give you head.

    • that's also going to strengthen your relationship because she's going to think "wow this guy really cares about me and doesn't want to push me into anything." A lot of guys just want girls to do their bidding and sexually satisfy them. By you letting her know that you're not like that, she's going to fall harder for you and start to care more for you...which in turn means she might be ready to go down on in less time too haha

  • I am glad that you are respecing her wishes. If you don't demand it then its still fine to want it. However I don't believe that you shouldn't go down on her if you want to, I mean just because she doesn't want to doesn't mean you shouldn't want to.

    • But I like to go down on her! It makes me happy to make her feel good Should I feel guilty wanting her to please me, too? (I've learned not to ask because I know she doesn't like it)

    • well if she doesn't like it then don't expect it. If it makes you happy don't complain about her doing something that won't make her happy.

  • I don't think you should feel guilty. I am in the same situation just opposite genders XD I love giving head to my boyfriend and I actually expect it from him but like you said it just doesn't seem to be his ''thing''. I don't feel guilty about it, I've demnded he gives me head... so neither should you! I think as long as we don't demand it, there's nothing to feel guilty about.

    • He's your sex slave! Though I find it hard to imagine me *wanting* my girlfriend to do it knowing she wants it over as soon as possible...and then trying to like it (without having some conflicting feelings...)

    • Hey don't judge me, he's not my sex slave it actually goes the other way around, he's the dominant in bed he makes me do stuff most of the time. Don't think I'm some demanding bitch who tries to make her boyfriend do stuff ... I believe in balance.

    • You said: "I've demnded he gives me head" and "I don't feel guilty about it". My comment that he's your sex slave is what I wish my girlfriend would regard ME as (metaphorical "slave" of course) . Most guys want to be dominated because then they know their girl ~wants~ him.

  • It's not a lame question, you really wanted to know. If she's not into it, she's not going to do it. Good for you for not demanding her to. That would not be right. And for the record, there are guys out there who won't go down on their girls when we go down on them...Think how THAT feels!

  • Then don't go down on her,she'll live without oral.

    You shouldn't feel bad about wanting it though

    • But I like to go down on her. It would be more a punishment to me if I stopped doing it (btw, she doesn't ask me to go down on her even if it's my favorite thing to do- well second favorite :-)

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    • Yeah, I think I am being resentful (..sad me..) because I can see how easy it would be for her to please me but she doesn't like doing it...what if you wanted your boyfriend to go down on you but he didn't like it?

    • I would never let a guy go down on me so problem solved, not to mention most guys dislike it so it's understandable. My vibrator doesn't complain,whine or bitch.

  • I think your girlfriend isn't being fair. It should be a give and take relationship...and she's just doing the taking!

    • It's more like I do the (free) giving and not ask for anything in return. She doesn't "ask" for me to est her out. I just love to do it.

  • You should always ask her, it won't hurt to just ask since it means so much to you, she could learn to like it.

    • She says she never gets "comfortable" doing it...what do you think that means? I've tried twisting myself in any place or angle she wants, but after 3-4 minutes it's apparent she's "going through the motions" and not "getting into it"...aren't girls supposed to like sex? I'll do anything to (for) her that she wants...I feel like giving up asking (but it would be so easy for her to please me -dammit!)

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    • Im all for the idea of giving pleasure to my future boyfrien (im a virgin and never had a boyfriend)

    • You a virgin? I know the "romance" of sex for girls is way more important than the physical "pleasure" of sex because your emotions run so deep, so you really don't know if you would really "like" to please a guy...that's just a guess, of course. I may be wrong but I'm sure any boy you chose will be lucky because you have a positive outlook :-)

  • I started liking it the more experienced I got. When I feel like I'm doing a good job, it's more enjoyable. If you haven't already, tell her you really like it and that you want to work with her to make it more enjoyable for her. Let her know what you like and figure out what's easier for her to do. Also, I love blowing him for a while when I know he's gonna f*ck me after; don't finish, just do it for a while and then do her real good.

  • Do you go down on her? That might be a swaying factor. If you knock her socks off orally she may want to do the same for you because you make her feel amazing.

    I honestly don't get girls like that. I love giving head, I think its so sexy and submissive when I'm on the floor looking up at him with his d*** in my mouth. I love it! lol you can do so much, fast and sloppy or slow and sensual and I'm very good at it. I like deep throating as well, and dirty talking a little, always giving him that sexy look or sometimes playing innocent. Boys are just so fun and I get really into pleasing my man. when I'm really into a guy, there's only a few things that I won't do. and if he's willing to try new things with me and make me happy, then it makes me wet just thinking about what I can do for him. I WANT to please him, to make him feel like he's king of the f***ing world. lol its true. I know some girls aren't into penises being in their mouths, they find it disgusting. my best friend is like that. I'm the opposite. I think some penises are so sexy, but even the ones that are just okay looking are hot because they are attached to the guy who I like and who I'm trying to please. then there's cum, which is awesome. come makes oral sex so hot. my guy has nice tasting come so I do swallow it for him when he wants me to, sometimes I just spit and let it dribble down my chin. I also let him put it wherever he wants - on my boobs, on my t*ts, and on face, etc. I love being his little cumwhore, and his alone. :)I'm just so into getting him off, its hard to understand where girls are coming from when they say they aren't into it. just look at the resopnse he gives you when your lips and tongue are on his d***...thats exactly what I love about it. he moans, he feels dominant, he feels good and he wants you even more.

    i love oral sex. and no you should not feel guilty. every one has desires and yours are understandable. you should kindly explain to her how much you love going down on her (if you do) and just slide it in that wouldn't it be great if she got into that, into returning the favor, so that you could take your intimacy to a different place other than just regular sex. say how much you want it, but you don't want to pressure her and she doesn't have to do it if she doesn't want to, but you would be so happy if she thought about it. maybe suggest as a birthday gift or something? lol

    if I were you I would just stop giving her oral if she's not going to reciprocate, but that's up to you. ladies need to take care of their men in bed. that's why half of them cheat and find girls who will do what you wont! just food for thought

    • You're awesome! My girlfriend will go down on me but it's like a "bother" to her and I can tell she really doesn't like to do it...the other day I said to use more spit and she said eww spit, gross! Of course I LOVE to go down on her and I know IF she REALLY wanted to get me off that it would only take a few minutes...but the main thing is she really WANTS to do it...That's the HOTTEST thing, when a girl likes do you think she could ever learn to "want" to do it or is it a lost cause?

    • idk honestly. I don't see my best friend being into it ever. maybe, maybe not. I understand how you feel though, you don't want to leave her over something small and you don't want to be a bully. I think you should make your desires known one last time but really you can't make someone want to do something. and unless you are head over heels in love and you want to marry her, I don't see the problem in just finding someone else. if you do love her, this may just be something you'll have to accept

    • Good advice. It's really sad that she doesn't like to please me like I like to please her.. From your answer it doesn't sound like you can teach a girl to "want" to do something, even if that something makes the other person REALLY happy...That makes me very very sad.

  • I think oral sex should be give and take. If she wants you to go down on her then she should be willing to go down on you. She should want to do it.

    • I agree! Should I dump her if she "tries" but honestly doesn't like it? It seems so ~selfish~ of me to even ask this question. Like how shallow can I be? :P

    • I don't think you should dump her if she tries and doesn't like it, but she should do it for you because it's something you enjoy. I'm sure she enjoys you going down on her. Just let her know how much you appreciate it when she does do it and let her know that she is doing great etc. Some girls just don't like to do it. Personally I love doing it. You are not shallow.

    • Thanks for your answer. I don't want to dump her but a lot of people say I'm only harboring resentment that will get worse over time. We've talked often enough about this so she knows how I feel, but I don't want to press her because then it would seem like I'm "forcing" her somehow. If your boyfriend wanted something you didn't like, would you think that he wasn't respecting you?

  • I have been her before. My ex did it a lot in the beginning of our relationship even though I told him I didn't want to give him head. He continued to do it anyway. He eventually got mad and told me I was selfish which really wasn't true. I wasn't ready to do it yet. I also thought it was kinda gross( I was 17 ). Maybe she isn't ready yet? You need to be respectful of that and wait till she's ready and stop going down on her. If she thinks its gross then you need to ask her. " What could I do to get you more comfortable with it? What can I do to get you to enjoy pleasing me more?" If she still refuses then tell her how it is. " Oral is important to me and I need it. " If she can not compromise.. even if she only does it once a week for you then you need to leave her. Your question isn't lame. You posted it very respectfully and good luck!

    • We're both in our mid-20's so I think she's established her comfort level. If I DID say that oral was important to me, wouldn't that be received as a threat somehow, and even if she *did* do it, how could I be pleased knowing she's doing it (reluctantly) against her native desires? I guess some girls are just not into it and I feel like a pervert for having such a sensitive penis...

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    • If I talk her into doing it, then how could I enjoy it knowing she doesn't like it?

    • I have nothing else to say then. Either accept things the way they are. Talk to her. Ditch her.. you pick.. I'm sorry for your ordeal

What Guys Said 5

  • It's fine to respect her for who she is, but first you have to respect yourself for what you want. You want a blowjob, there's nothing wrong with that. If she can't wrap her head around you getting a blowjob from her, she's perfectly free to wrap her head around you getting one from someone else.

    And before anyone gets on me about how getting the blowjob you want will somehow damage the relationship, let's acknowledge: *the relationship is already damaged* ("I am harboring a small sense of animosity about it"). This resentment you have over not getting it, won't get any better. You want a blowjob, you want it a lot. Rather than fume and pout over the girl who won't do it, better to cheer for the girl who will--whether it's her, or not.

  • NO... why should you?

    why not go down on her, get her really worked up then slide around into a 69 position as you continue licking her pussy...

    • Good advice! I tried that once and she said "I'm already ready, just put it in!" (hard to say no to that...)

  • you will always be angry at her. find a girl that WANTS to do it and enjoys it as much as you enjoy going down on her. I know women and some men will say I am wrong but women that do not give back in bed are selfish and do not care about truly pleasing you. its not in her nature and even if she does it you will still sense that she does not like it.

  • then don't do her until she wants to

    • What if she really doesn't want to do it?

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    • Then neither one of us will ever get oral...

    • thats to bad