Sexual Health
+1 y

He want me to "obey his orders in bed". Does he even care about me?

The guy I am seeing is very dominate. And just so you all know, I am okay with that. It doesn’t really bother me… He wants me to suck off other guys. I am okay with it, if he really wants it. I just don’t want it happening all the time. But I am wondering if he really does in fact care about me. He is sweet and all, but in the bedroom, it is a completely different story. I just don’t understand why he would want me to suck off other guys. He wants me to take his orders and obey. I am not talking about obey things like clean the house or stuff like that. I am talking about his sexual desires. Which once again, I am okay with, I like being ordered around in that way. He is sweet funny caring. But I am just afraid he is not liking me the way I like him. In my opinion a girl who can satisfy a mans wants and desires, is a keeper. But I want some other feedback. Do you think a dominate guy likes his girl to be very submissive and take his orders? Or is this a relationship that could fail? He doesn’t abuse me or anything, we both consent earlier, and have safe words, and he checks up on me to make sure I am okay and comfortable. He also gives me great aftercare. We are into cuffs, tying up, blindfolds, paddles, gags etc. But we both know our limits. And are not into hard core BDSM. I just need some feedback. I am comfortable, and so is he. I just want to make sure that someone like my boyfriend loves the person that they are ordering around. What is you view on that? I seriously need advice… Thank-you, and I look forward to hearing some feedback!
Updates:
+1 y
Actually sorry let me add more info.. Sometimes he can be a bit demanding. Like he won't be satisfied if I don't. And lately I feel as if he doesn't want me as much. We don't really talk much. And when we do it's a short convo.
+1 y
And I was wondering if these types of guys care
+1 y
he turned out to be a selfish prick, and I am done with him...
0 0

Most Helpful Guys

  • I think you have a crazy guy, what kind of domination is that, what kind damn females you are there either liberate till the max like sl*ts or slaves like hell...

    that's crazy...if he loves you and wants you to be a housewife than he loves you a lot and will care about you forever and you will be only his forever, besides what kind of a guy would want his girl to suck other men and you tell him it's OK, you must slap his face off, maybe you suck him and would do anything JUST TO HIM! but for other guys, I 'm sure your man is somewhat crazy and you better leave him...a man who cares about you and loves you would only want you for him besides it's beautiful to dominate you in bed but in a wonderful lovely way, he can't hurt you cause he will be hurt, when someone loves the other truly they become 1, but this guy is just using for his own desires, you said he's good but only in bed things changes, well did excepted him to be bad outside the bed, how will he owns you if treated you bad...you have lots of love in your heart so give it to a real man who really gives you the same...

    take care and good luck...i really wish that you leave him, I was shocked when I heard that he likes to share, what the hell I don't borrow someone a tool, than how about a human being and especially his girl, your guy do drugs for sure, he's stoned!

    • nah, he wasn't into drugs, but I ended communication with him. I thought I found that stuff exciting, but then realized I want my man to treat me nice in bed, and an occasion spice up in bed. rough sex alll the time made me feel like a whore...

  • If the domination is just a game you play in the bedroom, but doesn't extend elsewhere, why are you concerned? You both like the domme-sub roleplay, right? And in public, out to dinner, everywhere else you are treated as an equal?

    If so, then I don't see an issue.

Most Helpful Girls

  • It sounds like he has a fetish or certain desires and he may not realize how his requests are affecting you. If he treats you normally outside the bedroom, it doesn't necessarily mean he doesn't care about you. I suggest that you talk to him and tell him that it's hard for you to understand where he's coming from, and you need reassurance that you're more than a sex object to him. Ask him to spend as much time paying attention to your desires and fantasies a you do to his. If he's the only one making demands and you're the only one following orders, things will feel unfair.

    • I don't think you need to worry about whether "these types of guys" will truly care about you- a guy CAN have a sexual fetish and love you etc, everyone is different. But based on your update, you're right to be suspicious that he might only use you for sex. Have a heart to heart with him and tell him how you feel so you can both decide what to do.

  • When someone dominates you in that way, it does not mean that he loves you. He loves dominating you. If you keep telling him you are okay with it, there is no reason for him to stop. If you want him to stop, you should tell him. And, by obeying your wish to stop, you can see then that he cares about you. If he doesn't stop, then he doesn't care.

  • They do I was in one for a year of course we were into BDSM hardcore but he does care but after the las update it seems as though aa distance has grown I would difinatelt ask him about it I wish I had done that He does seem sweet I guess it is becuasei too am submissive but I think so far except for the fact that there isnot talking

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What Girls & Guys Said

0 7

  • You've negotiated blindfolds, cuffs, paddling, power exchange, safewords, etc., etc. How is this different? You do what you've always done; you decide on your comfort level, set your limits ("I am okay with it, if he really wants it. I just don’t want it happening all the time."), and give yourself an out if it's too much for you (safeword).

    You're an experienced player; I'm puzzled that this isn't straightforward for you.

  • Sex is sex. He only goes alpha mode in bed and you like it, he treats you right outside of this carnal sphere.

    Girls, your awareness and logical functions work in opposite directions.

  • So long as you're okay with what he's asking you to do, then I suppose it's not abusive.

    He might want to you be with other guys because he has a cuckold fetish. It's an unusual fetish, but not terribly uncommon.

  • I agree with Amberchick.

    He's trying to push your limits and enjoy seeing how far he can make you go.

    Keep in mind, that things probably wouldn't stop with a bj... and you'll end up being passed around as his personal toy

  • Good answer..you can get a man that cares about you!

  • Man that seems wrong...wow

    • yeah, I am convinced he hates women. he was really degrading, and I got out while I could

  • i can see why he likes banging your profile pic says sexy

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