How can I support my boyfriend suffering from premature ejaculation?

[Anonymous]

My boyfriend of 6 1/2 months recently started ejaculating prematurely when we have sex. it didn't used to be a problem before and he is getting really stressed/depressed about it. I've already told him that i think its just a phase because we haven't has sex for a while, and that I'm not disappointed or annoyed BUT How what else can I do be supportive and help his situation? what would you like your partner to do?

[billy_young]

I suffer from a very similar thing to your bf... consistantly ejaculating within a few minutes of penetration or foreplay and taking at least 5-10 min to get hard again, even if we just carry on with foreplay.

The bad news is that it hasn't really changed for me, but me & my girlfriend don't have sex very often as we only see each other every few weeks. Also, she's against me masturbating. And she doesn't really like to go more than once. And she isn't keen on trying many different positions.

So that's kinda the good news - that you're already doing the right things.

I think supporting him is important, but equally important is trying lots of different things to overcome the problem. Here's a few ideas:

- Let or even encourage him to masturbate often as this will slightly desensitise him. Sending dirty photos or something will let him know you're OK with this.

- Leave a long time for sex and wank/suck him off first. Find a way of making this part of the sexual activity but keeping it going for a while. (I mean don't just stay fully clothed, suck him off, go and watch TV for half an hour then try again). You could try playing a sex game for 20 mins, or talk dirty, or you could let him finger and lick you out, or you could masturbate in front of him while he's tied up or whatever you like... work on it together.

- Try different positions. Try to find some that are extra sensitive for you and less sensitive for him.

- Communicate during sex and take control a bit. If something feels great for you, let him know so he can do it more. And don't be afraid to say if something isn't that great. It might seem a bit harsh to say 'that doesn't feel that good' or something like that, but I'm honestly sure he'd rather use him limited time inside you giving you maximum pressure.

- Try using sex toys to help you orgasm more quickly.

- Try using a **** ring to make him last longer.

- Try Durex performa - they slightly numb his penis so he lasts longer. They work miracles for me. Or if you don't currently use condoms, try that. It's not the same sensation at all, but that's good for him.

- Have sex more often. Also, sometimes maybe just have foreplay and no penetration. Still work towards orgasm though. That way you both get satisfied but it doesn't matter at all how long he lasts or not.

- Use lube, it can help to make it smoother and less sensitive for him.

- Have sex drunk. Not only will he last longer, but he'll probably also be less worried about it.

That's all I can think of right now.

So some of it is probably because he feels under pressure. That might not be something you can do anything about, but try your best to make sure he doesn't feel under pressure to make you orgasm or to last a long time.

In terms of supporting him, just be understanding. Personally, a girl telling me 'it's OK, I don't mind if you don't last that long' etc etc won't make me feel better at all. For one, I probably wouldn't believe her, and even if I did... (continued...)

[billy_young]

...even if I did, it's irrelevant, because I want to make her orgasm and come, not just for her sake but for my confidence and things. I want us to orgasm at the same time, for the intimacy of it and the closeness. So DO say "It doesn't bother me, but if it's a big issue to you, let's try these things" (see above). In my opinion, that's all you can do. It already sounds like you are being supportive and posting this question on here is really caring and thoughtful of you. Hope this helps :)

[carlo_claw]

hey

if I was in your situation I wouldn't say anything to your partner about it, this gives him the sense that something is wrong and that your upset or annoyed about his premature ejaculation.

one this that I can suggest for you two to try is this - its a known fact that women take longer to orgasm and ejaculate before men, so I would suggest you have more foreplay before sex, letting him finger/ go down on you more then what you do to him thins way you both will become stimulated and (hopefully) both orgasm TOGETHER, making him more happy and tension less likely to occur.

hope this helps

carlo

[Asker]

what if he says something first, how am I suppose to respond/react.

[carlo_claw]

what does he say?

[Asker]

he says that he is disappointed and annoyed with himself for not being able to control it and last longer with me

[carlo_claw]

well how do you TRULY feel about it?

[zdagger]

frequent masturbation will desensitize him.

[CapnBlack]

I would try to pay attention to stopping/ pulling out if he is getting close,and starting again after a second or 2. I figured he has probably tried this but, I don't see how it wouldn't work.

[wellhung4her]

have him jerkoff or you suck him dry before sex he will last longer then

[Asker]

ive done this before but it takes him a really long it to get hard again.

[jschlik082]

I'm in the same situation! You just have to be understanding and willing to help him.

[Anonymous]

are you sure its PE? How long does it take?

[Asker]

yup, pretty sure. its either right upon penetration or between a minute or two entering.

[Opinion Owner]

that sucks. what about the second time...or third time? Weed will help if you're into that. Or you could just dump the chump for a player that can do you right and have you cumming in spurts for an hour or more. Your choice.

[Asker]

since this has been happening he's felt to dissapointed in himself to go again after the first round and it takes him a whlie to get hard again. yeah ill try the weed lol

[Opinion Owner]

that sucks. He should feel disappointed to a degree but you both should look at it as something to get better at TOGETHER...That is unless you're not that committed to each other. If that's the case...why bother...move on to someone that can do you right or at least have him on the side.