I want my daughter to stop sleeping in the same bed as my son, am I wrong?

[Anonymous]

Does anyone think I'm wrong for this? Could It be because what happened to me? OK so I have 4 kiddos.Only one my 7yr old is a girl.The rest are boys,12 10 and 5 years old. I have recently since my oldest turned 12 made my daughter stop sleeping in her brothers room.She being the only girl has her own room but she doesn't like sleeping by her self because she's scared even with a nightlight or her TV on.I was molested by my own father but I really don't think it has anything to do with my decision.I am just ''making sure'' if you will that my son being the age where puberty will most likely start and sexual arousal may start also, doesn't ever get an urge to even think about looking at his sister in a sexual way .I have read some messed up questions on this site alone about girls having sex with thier brothers and I would probably knowing myself beat my son to death if my daughter ever came to me and said anyone my own kids included ever tried anything like that. SO,do you think I'm going too far in my thinking?

[wicksjm]

Yes, I do feel that she should be sleeping in her own bed, in her own room. To make her feel comfortable you may want to sleep in her room with her (like on the floor by doing so it makes her learn how to sleep alone in her own bed) until she falls asleep then you go to your room, you could try doing that for a little while. You may also want to think about speaking to her pediatrician about how to handle the situation. Regardless, speak to professionals not to people on this site. This site is for entertainment purposes. Your situation is serious and needs proper guidance, especially when talking about rearing children.

I am sorry to hear about how you you were molested as a child. I totally understand your concern. We gotta be concerned about all of our children, the girls and boys. But...you gotta stop reading so much about girls having sex with their brothers...that's sick! Besides, you don't want stories like that to make you paranoid.

kateakanne had a great idea which is to give your oldest his own room (if you have the room, you gotta be creative). The two middle boys should share and your daughter to keep her own room as well. But I think the best way to handle this situation is to speak to a professional or seek family therapists that can specific examples for this situation. Also speak to the guidance counselors at her school or the teachers. They can give better advice than the people on this site.

All the best to you and your family!

[kateakanne]

I understand you're thinking. Here's something you can try. My mother had all of us sleep in the same room as well while we were kids. We loved it though. It was the best part of growing up together. It helped us bond and we grew very close. After so long so, we started getting older, and there is a time when it's just not appropriate to sleep in the same room anymore. At that point, my mom gave the oldest their own room. The oldest appreciated it, and felt like it was an award for growing up and being good. The two youngest continued to sleep together until the middle started getting too old, at which point then he got his own room, and as a result the youngest girl got her own room too.

So, while it is a good idea for you to start splitting them up, instead of having one of the youngest in her own room, where she feels alone and afraid, give your oldest boy his own room. That way your little girl can have a few more years to grow up and start being more independent so she can handle her own room when the time comes. And I am sure your oldest boy will love it, and will start feeling like a man in the house.

[bersaba]

I was going to write out a long answer, but there's really no need. You sound like you've got a good handle on things. Make sure you're daughter gets over being scared, but also that she stays in her room.

The only thing I'd recommend is trying to get your eldest boy a room of his own aswell. 4 kids can be tough unless you have a large house, but a teenage boy will need his freedom.

[star26]

It's fine until your sons doesn't do anything wrong... When I was kid I used to sleep with my 3 sisters in same bed. I was 10 and they were 13, 12 & 8. But when I grew up to 12 then I slept alone... But still they may make sexual attractions... I suggest she should sleep in her room.

[0ddjob]

Yeah, at that age she needs to have privacy - away from her brothers. Whether she wants it or not.

[G_Day_Mate]

Not wrong, a lot of people would have separated them earlier.

G'day mate.

[MikeK]

Your thinking is not irrational, especially if there's a history of incest in your family. There will always be some kind of sexual attraction between brothers and sisters, just make sure your son doesn't act on it.

[Rick912]

There comes a time for your daughter to sleep by herself. Whenever that is, is up to you. Since you were molested by your dad (like my ex wife was), you know what can happen at an early age.

[714goofball]

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