How do other guys feel about sex versus sexual favors and girlfriends?

[Quadrophonic84]

I know a lot of guys get upset when they hear that their girlfriend has had sex with a lot of guys before him. That doesn't bother me so much. What really upsets me is hearing stories about sexual favors performed for friends or other people she didn't really even like romantically. For instance, my first love told me about this guy she was friends with all through high school. They went out once the summer after graduation, and the guy whipped it out in the car, already hard. She told me "he was WAYYYY too big to have sex, so I just have him a handjob." That made me feel sick to my stomach. In no way were they together and she told me she wasn't into him. I almost dumped her over it because I couldn't think about anything but that when I saw her for about a week after she told me. Also what bugged me is the way she told me, almost as if I was supposed to think it was a cute funny story too. Another example: my most recent ex told me a story about being at a party at a bar where there were a couple Navy guys. After getting really drunk, she followed one of them into the men's room. She told me he said he wanted a blow job and whipped it out. She said she didn't want to but just got on her knees and did it while other people were walking in and out of the bathroom. That same sick to my stomach feeling came back. In both cases I almost wish she had just had sex with him because then it wouldn't seem like she was just a sex toy for him. At least then she'd be getting something out of it too. In both cases the girls told me they didn't enjoy what happened. At least if there was sex involved there would have been some pleasure. The way it happened, both cases seem like she was just an object or a servant whose job it was to service some random guy's d*ck. Does anyone else have any experience with this kind of thing? Agree? Disagree?

[l-hedoniste]

Disagree.

First, it's loony to think that a girl should live her life in anticipation of meeting me. Her life is her own to live as she pleases. If that means handjobs to any passing football team, that's her affair. I don't care. (If she does it once we're dating, we have the talk about boundaries.)

And if that made you sick to your stomach, here's some real nausea: some girls *like* being sex toys. They think it's f*cking hot. Given the "cute, funny story" vibe your girl gave off, she might be one of them.

Again: her business. We like what we like, and if what turns her crank is being a sex toy, then it's not my place to change it. Besides, erotic tastes being what they are, I probably couldn't change it if I wanted to. And, to be honest, I wouldn't want to--I find sex toys fun.

This is just my opinion, though, the way I want the women in my life, and how I treat them. If sex toys nauseate you, you're allowed that preference.

Just PM me those phone numbers once you dump them, okay? Thanks.

[Quadrophonic84]

I have some leftover Chinese food from last night, want that too? Thanks for sharing!

[l-hedoniste]

I *love* leftover Chinese! XD

[MyNameIsJonas]

Wow... Honestly where did you meet these women in the first place?

As for my opinion, some women enjoy feeling wanted, some even enjoy being used. I think in the moment these women found it exciting and a turn on that these men were so eager for them. Faint tends to bless the bold. I think they were attracted in the moment to these men, and for that reason made a bad judgement call. They either really regretted it after or simply told you they did because you are their new boyfriend.

[Quadrophonic84]

I met one at UC Davis. I met the other at a cafe in Tucson, AZ. I think Handjob McGee jerked him off because her whole thing was "don't make waves" - she didn't want to deal with having a friend unhappy with her. And Princess Semen Dumpster did it because she's a filthy slut. They both kinda got off on me judging them though. I guess the real issue is that I end up being attracted to girls like this. At least those two are out of my life now.

[MyNameIsJonas]

hahaha I like the names you thought up. You may be going for these women because they are so sexually open with you to begin with. I have gone for similar women in the past.

[Anonymous]

I agree with you, how could any girl do something like that and know she is just being used as a sex object and those type of men give all men a bad rep. And at least in a either a FB or FWB type relationship your using each other and know it. Hey keep your eye out not all girls are like that. I can understand why you feel sick when a girl gets used that just means your a gentlemen and a real man as far as most women think. But everyone has a past and a lot of times people regret what they have done .

[dudeman]

fb and friends with benefits are disgusting too those women are marryable

[dudeman]

how come when I say this stuff makes me sick people rag on me but this guy gets called a gentlemen

[dudeman]

lol unmarryable

[Quadrophonic84]

Nah, some people on this site have called me a prude and a jerk. It's amusing.

[IMakeBarbieJealous]

dude, they wanted to do it but just told you they weren't into it to try to make you feel special. like it didn't matter with them but does with you. its lame, but if you're gonna ask those kind of questions you should be ready for the answers and should accept people for being honest.

[Quadrophonic84]

They were being honest...by telling me what they thought I wanted to hear? Yes, I'm familiar with 16 year old girl logic. By the way, I didn't ask "Who have you had random gross hookups with?" We were talking about parties and friends and stuff and both girls volunteered those stories.

[IMakeBarbieJealous]

so its not your place to judge them. they felt comfortable enough telling you so deal with it. you sound like a prude

[Quadrophonic84]

So, they're entitled to act like whores but I'm not entitled to share my honest reaction? More of that 16 year old girl logic. And I'm no prude, I just choose to share my sexuality with those who demonstrate they are worthy. I know that's a foreign concept to most kids.

[dudeman]

lol you should respect them for being honest accepting them is a different story all together

[Quadrophonic84]

Yeah, I respect their honesty. I reciprocated by being honest about my feelings of revulsion by their behavior.

[Camilus]

That doesn't bother me as much as it seems to bother you. What would bother me a lot more is if I found out the girl I was dating was cheating on her ex-boyfriend/husband while he was deployed overseas in the military. In my mind there is nothing scummier than that.

[Quadrophonic84]

Yeah, that would bother me a lot too.

[dudeman]

im just leaving the country most foreigners I meet tell me the women here are messed up in the head and America is only good for making money but if you want a wife leave and I tend to agree with them it gets to a point when you are really compromising yourself and your manhood by being with these women its definitely not honorable

[Anonymous]

How the hell did jerking off her high school friend come up in conversation? And of course your recent ex wanted to blow the navy guy. Why the hell else did she follow him into the bathroom? Unless she wanted to f*** him I guess. How did THAT come up in conversation?

I guess I'm most confused by how/why they tell you this.

[Quadrophonic84]

LOL yeah I see what you're saying. But the high school friend came up when she was talking about hearing from another friend from high school who knew about it and was acting weird on the phone. Don't forget this happened when we were both 18 so it was recent. And the Navy guy thing came up because we were sharing our "most awkward" sexual experiences (she won). She swore she didn't want to do it but I'm you're probably right.

[Opinion Owner]

Haha! What exactly DID she want that caused her to follow him into a bathroom? Did she want to try peeing standing up? Yeah, this is why I try to avoid past sex experience conversations with girls. Nothing good will come of them. Just find out if they're clean and if they've ever cheated and leave it at that. Also, I have no doubt that girlfriend 2 loved sucking **** in the bathroom and girlfriend 1 was totally psyched to be stroking a big d!ck and watching it cum.

[Quadrophonic84]

She just said she was drunk and following the guy around and he led her into the bathroom. She was a really spacey chick, I tend to believe that she was just following this guy. That's similar to how she and I would hang out when we first met (not BJs though...well not in a men's room anyway). I think what bothers me is that they regretted what they did (or pretended to) yet they also acted like it doesn't matter. Just felt so phony to me. It's like "Be a slut or be respectable - pick one"