Don't girls want to hook up JUST as much as guys do?

What's the deal? If they're attracted to you and (so I've seen on this website) most girls like sex just as much as guys, why are girls hesitant to hook up?


Most Helpful Girl

  • We know guys resent us after they get a piece, because we get attached and that ruins their easy going fun.


What Girls Said 24

  • Girls get emotionally attached more easily, so it's harder for them to distinguish "just a hookup" from something more-- and most girls want the relationship to go with the hookup. They love sex, but they don't want it without the relationship.

    But that's "most" girls. I know PLENTY that are perfectly fine with having just the sex/hook-up, and many that prefer sex with no strings attached, myself included (I personally think "friends with benefits" CAN work...but only for brief periods of time).

    • and the f***ed up part is, that most women think that all guys are the same... which can be a total downer if you're someone like me :-(...

    • meaning you would rather have the relationship or just the hook-up? I think most women know that not all guys are the same, but it's hard to distinguish if you haven't known someone for very long.

  • No..they do not.

    Well not me anyways.

    But some do...just like some guys don't.

  • I think most of us are just afraid of feeling used. Even with just a one night fling, girls need a bit of romance. Sex alone just doesn't quite do it for us.

  • Many of Women seem fond of saying they do not want sex only because they will fall in love, get attached and want to be the guys one and only sex slave for life- I call bullsh*t.

    These same Women probably would say they had to eat the ice cream because they needed to feel the love of chocolate. REASON. ACCOUNTABILITY. SELF CONTROL. It works.

    Just like you can fight the urge to f*** anyone that turns you on. and you can fight the urge to become a pile of sobbing desperate mush post sex.

    dont have sex with a guy you have feelings for be the same for a guy, if he is having sex with a girl he is actually in love with.

    getting attached is volitional just like having sex, eating , being nice, being an asshole, working hard, being lazy, being ignorant, thinking about what you do why you do it and if you should do it, is a choice. People are not helpless to their chemicals-- just go do something else and leave it be.

    My guess is women do not have random sex as much as guys, even tho MANY would be happy to-because women are sexual beings- is because:

    1, guys many guys have a rule about not dating a girl who has slept with more than a few or one or no guys. So if the girl thinks she may one day want a boyfriend -even if not now-she avoids ruing her reputation, for what she sees as a greater value. Later.

    #2. Girls are considered sluts if they have sex with too many guys. (too many is subject to change at any time at any place by ay human being)

    #3. Women who engage of lots of sex are considered lacking in self control. Women themselves, make this prejudice worse, by saying that they have no self control, had to have sex & now have to marry the guy because he is the one guy in the world for them & his d*** is the only d*** in the world for them & they NEEED him.

    #4. You never know how a stranger will act,

    >>There is always the possibility he will flip & turn psycho, rape her or try to preform very painful acts. Abduction as well- also a possibility. Men are often larger than women, so women are automatically at a bit of threat. He may also just not know how to use his jimmy & be a horrible painful lay.


    >> Some sting, some ache, some maim, some kill.







    PREGNANCY PREGNANCY PREGNANCY PREGNANCY - That ones obvious too.. and yet..

    >> A Women may be unable to get an abortion. Most often a guy is unwilling to help out with child support.

  • I can list a few reasons why girls are ulikelier than guys to just stick their thingy in another thingy as often as a guy, here goes

    1. sanitation reasons, who knows where that things been?

    2. pregnancy

    3. std (HIV/ AIDs risk, gonorhea etc)

    4. social context, social paradigms

    5. gossip

    6. reputation

    7. hygiene

    8. health reasons, some mentioned above and others

    9. change in family or social dynamics maybe depending on culture

    10. resulting emotions

    11. it is often emotion for girls than it is for guys sometimes

    12. some prefer to have a relationship first

    13. some would rather it be meaningful

    14. some need to know the guy first before hooking up

    15. does this guy hook up with everyone, do I want to be part of it? probably not.

    16. other reasons I can't think of in 30 seconds as I submit this answer..boom

  • sometimes I think a girl does just want sex. if she just wants sex just like the guy does she dosen't feel used because that's all tshe wants too

  • We do but you don't want to get with a guy that looks like he is going to play games and give you an std. the hole point of just hooking up is not games just get in and get out.

  • Yes and no. But since you're bringing sex into the equation, its just as another girl here said: we're afraid that you just want the sex. I'm sure if you made it clear to your girl that she's more than that to you, you're all set. Pretty simple. :)

    However, I suppose it depends on how fast you want to get going. If she's not ready, don't push her. Hopefully she'll let you know when she's ready to go that far in a relationship. As far as I hear (I don't claim to know, because I've been single) girls get way more pressured to put out than guys do.

    • no he is specifically asking about JUST SEX, because a lot of girls on this site, say they love sex random sex casual sex no strings attached sex, but they don't do t.

      my guess stds pregnancy & accusations.

  • If we wanted to hook up then its a bad thing and we will get judged by it. if you guys wanted to hook up then its "congratulations" to you.

  • Personally, I seem to be more aware of the latest stats on STI's then most men and it scares me too much to want to risk it. If not then I would have no problem. I think for most women it has to do with the way are sexuality is viewed. If we stopped calling women 'sluts', 'whores', etc, it would be a lot easier for you guys to get laid.

  • Because we get called sluts if we do.

  • Probably because if we get knocked up, we're the ones who have to carry around the baby. The father can bail.

  • i have had a few friends with benefits who I cared for as friends but was not emotional attached or even wanted to be in a relationship with .. a girl that KNOWS who and when to show/share her emotions and doesn't fall easy saves herself a lot of trouble while at the same time having fun..

    some girls need to grow up ;) falling in love with whatever guy you see/go on a date with or f*** is immature .. that's how you get hurt

  • I love casual sex, hooking up, etc. But, girls have so much more to risk with this than guys do, so we have to be cautious. There is the pregnancy/ std issue, but there is also a violence issue. You never know if the guy you met in a bar is really a psycho.

    So, I'd rather hook up with friends, or friends of friends (who I can get the scoop on before hand)

  • I would love to hook up with guys for some NSA fun but I am too chicken that I will catch something so I don't.

  • Because our bodies release a chemical called oxytocin which causes us to become attached to the guy no matter what the situation is. Girls who thought they could "just hook up" later realize they can't because they get hurt.

    • i think you believe what you want to. plenty of people have sex without caring. don't hook up with guy you are in love with. but that goes for guys too. I think blaming biology is bullsh*t, a lot of guys feel like f***ing any girl they want but they cant. rape is illegal. you can decide to get attached or not. its volitional.

  • Some girls do. Unfortunately, a lot of those girls are damaged goods while others genuinely like no strings attached (not too common).

    I know some girls that claim to be OK with it but, I know their hurting inside. They do it so the guy will see how great they are in bed and then think he'll "fall in love". I've only ever heard of very few that they actually end up being with the guy they hook up with on a long term basis

    • oh bullsh*t. do you rally know more then 25 girls who have hooked up & fallen in love.

      stop blaming biology . people have will. getting attached is a choice as much as choosing to have or not to have sex. damaged goods that's how you think of women. your really ignorant.

    • You are the ignorant fool! Don't ask questions if you don't want to hear other peoples opinions. IDIOT!

  • lol me so horny

  • No. I might want to, but that doesn't mean I'm going to

  • Yes, girls do want to hook up with guys we're attracted to. Just like guys. We are hesitant because of the slut standard. That's all. If that went away, we'd be much more willing to hook up.

  • because it's a different thing all together socially and reputation wise. Guys can't begin to understand what girls have to deal with...they have sex and they're totally cool that's the end of it. it's not that way with girls at all. We are expected to be the ones who draw the line and say no since we're the ones who keep you from spreading your seed. If we were as big horn dogs as you guys the population would be even more out of control. we're the last line of defense for our planet...we were made to be picky ;)

  • I feel like girls get judged more than guys do if they want to just hook up with a guy. I know for myself, I did it anyways and my friends were pretty harsh about it.

    • I completely agree. I'm out of a serious 2 1/2 year relationship & have been having a (safe, smart, etc) fantastic time but was worried how people viewed me. I've 1 friend who's pretty judgmental, but all my other friends--male and female--agree that I'm doing nothing wrong. And the guys, friends & otherwise, say the same thing: "why is it OK for me and not for you?"

      I know that some guys out there might view me as a slut. I think its who you surround yourself with, and I'm lucky for who I've got.

    • I never really understood the whole "girl friend judging girl friend" for them doing sexual things. The ONLY thing I'm worried about is STDs, and girls who sleep around generally would have them. But I wouldn't care that you had sexual fun.

    • thats good that you don't judge for the fun, I wish more people thought that way.

      as for the STD thing, I'm kind of nervous about that so I tend to ask the guy the last time he got tested, and I get tested regularly, even if its up to date I'll just do it if I feel like it. I gotta tell you though the number of times a guy has tried to talk me into not using a condom has been way more than I ever would have thought.

      Usually its, "Oh come on, it doesn't feel as good, please?"

  • Because we're freaked out your only wanting the sex not us

    • its not like we see only a vagina. It's the whole package that's sexually attractive

    • Well that's nice to know but most girls don't see it that way. Guys don't always make it clear that they want US and not just sex. Feeling used sucks the big one. We fear it. Plan and simple

    • he is asking about JUST SEX, this is not about why don't girls want to have sex with a guy who will warship them and love therm forever.

      hes asking if girls say they like just sex, as much as guy like just sex, why don't they have more just sex.

      read the post.

What Guys Said 4

  • They're afraid of looking like or feeling like sluts.

    Guys can f*** as many girls as they want and they're called a playaaa while girls are considered sluts. What a load of bull. Personally, I don't care how many guys a girl has slept with, as long as she's taken the right precautions. It only makes her better in bed, which is just fiiine by me! 8D

  • Reading some replies I agree about the psycho aspect, this could apply to both male and female by the way.

    Women can be as horny as men and why not hook up and have fun together.

    STI's are also a worry so practice safe sex or pleasure each other in different ways.

    I get distressed when lusty women are branded as whores or sluts just because they have a healthy sex life. Life is too short.

  • Girls and guys simply do NOT have the same drive for casual sex. You have to think of how we've evolved - men can father a child every 20 minutes, women can have a child every 2 years are so. So as a guy, the instinctive part of your brain is thinking 'is this the hottest girl I can get ... at this moment'. A girls instinctive brain is saying 'are these the best genes I can get in the next 2 years, cause if not, I might as well keep looking and maybe get someone better or at least a guy who is gonna stick around and help raise the kid'.

    For the right guy, sure, girls want NSA sex (though they'd almost always take a relationship with that guy too). For guys, morality aside, they'll screw the fat waitress who works the late shift if nobody will know and its been a while.

  • Guys have a physical need to have an orgasm. That is what relieves the intense desire to hook up. Might have to do with the pressure from built-up prostate fluid or something related. But it is an intense need to get a release. Once you get that release, you feel fine. Until the next time...!

    • bullsh*t you can jerk off. stop blaming biology. you want sex because you want sex, you don't need it.