Sexual Health
+1 y

Boyfriend asked me to shave "down there"...?

So after sex my boyfriend was like, "can I make a suggestion? I don't think it's mean but you might take it the wrong way." I was like, "no. you cannot make a suggestion." So he was like, "Well I was just thinking like maybe you can shave it." I got so pissed and freaked out. Keep mind, I am neatly trimmed. I have very little trimmed hair just near the bottom. Should I shave it for him? Was it wrong of him to ask me?
Updates:
+1 y
I guess I'm just worried he thinks of me as like gross when seroisly... I am neatly groomed! I'm just not bald! but thanks for everyone's answers :)
0 1

Most Helpful Guys

  • It's amazing how many guys need to suggest their girls hygene rituals. Since you are new at this and you already spend the time to trim, am I assuming that your girlfriends 'suggested" that also?

    I'm a bit older and have seen quite a few hairstyles. I am now at the point where what ever you have to offer without troubling yourself by going though any extra "processes" to look your best by anticipating what the next guy is going to request is just fine with me. Do what feels better to you.

    I know when the girls get lazy and there is a two day layer of stubble, I feel the same way as when I didn't shave my face that day and my girl complains that my face is too rough and gets raspberried after a couple of minutes of kissing. I might be a bit sensitive too and I'm not crazy about having sex with a cactus. I like to spend more than a couple of minutes inside but after too long it geos from pain to nubmness. Same thing with oral. I rather feel a nice soft bush than a trimmed "brush" or worse razor stubble that feels like another guys face!

    It seems that one day years ago everyone was happy with what God gave them and then the next day every guy wanted their girls to look like a p*rn star. Did you notice girls, the same guy that suggests you shave yourself bald to look underage (not really explained that way, is it?) is also that same guy that need to come all over your face - everytime? Mmmmmm?

    Just do what you want and what feels best not what looks best. How often are you in the grocery store and get complimented on your wonderful pubic hairdo? Does your guy even look after all that trouble. It's a bitch when it grows back out too. Next thing you know the same guys afraid of the bearded monster are going to suggest you get those horrible looking "roast beef" lips trimmed down and not hanging out now that you can see them with out all that messy hair covering things up.

    Yeah, I think they have a surgical procedure that will make you look like you are 4 years old again. Ah,it must be nice to have a great guy who cares that much about you. Don't worry though, if you are lucky and he sticks around another 25 years, I'm sure he'll care enough to mention a face lift and t*ts - if you don't have those yet either! Good luck!

    • I thought your reply was funny. And too... ironic about the shaving part and the "can I come in some weird place" thing. I don't watch p*rn so I never made the connection! I have a tattoo down there so I used to keep it shaved bald. I kept that up till baby number two, at which point you don't care so much anymore. (Too, I'm divorced now and not getting any so who cares lol). I tried to go back to my old ways but the regrowth is intolerable, and I haven't found a better method yet lol.

    • Bravo, bravo. That's all I can say. :)

    • I think he's right, it's way better to feel a trimmed or even full grown bush than sandpaper. And I also understand Alpha, to grow it back after shaving it is not funny at all, I know it from experience.

  • I would tell him that you will shave if he does as well. I will say that having sex when both people are completely shaved is a uniquely pleasurable experience. Well, at least it was for me. I really think he was thinking more about pleasure and not about anything involving an unpleasant body area. In fact, I would say that expressing what you like and don't like in the "bedroom" (kitchen table, living room floor, public bathroom or any place else you enjoy sex.. ) can lead to better sexual experiences and open up positive lines of communication. I am aware that many women are very sensitive about certain areas of the body being very clean and for anyone to imply otherwise can be seen as offensive. It would seem that your boyfriend may have been aware of this and that's why he prefaced it with trying to communicate with you that it had nothing to do with your own personal hygiene. However, he *IS* a guy and what he meant to convey may not have come across the way he intended it. :)

Most Helpful Girls

  • Personally, I don't mind doing things for my man to keep him happy. I really wouldn't see it as a problem but then I wouldn't know about how difficult it is to deal with shaving and having it grow back and all of that. I never realized until now that I am truly lucky to be naturally with little hair down there, shaped in a v to where I don't ever have to shave. I can just put on a bikini with my natural line. Honestly, I never knew this was an issue for so many people. Wow...I feel totally blessed. That's why when my ex said to me I had it looking nice and pretty for him...I looked at him puzzled like nooo...what do you mean? He explained and I told him I never do anything to it. I never knew that my stuff was special...wow...:)

  • Are you sure he wants you to completely shave all the time? Maybe it was something he was just interested in trying out. I started shaving completely because I also hook up with other girls and I prefer that on them, but most girls DEFINITELY do not shave completely so don't feel self-conscious about not having done it.

    The guy I'm dating now actually just asked me to stop shaving completely, which threw me a bit. I think it's always a bit surprising and uncomfortable when it seems like the person you're having sex with doesn't like what you're doing. Try it, and if you don't like it (sometimes it feels pretty hot), then tell him that.

  • No, it wasn't wrong for him to ask or make a suggestion. Unless you live deep in the amazonian jungles or forests of Brazil there's no reason to look like chewbaca. Alot, if not most, prefer bare or bald. I think most guys don't care if you have a landing strip but what they can't stand is girls who shave/wax the bikini line and the mons pubis area, but leave hair on the lips or the entrance of the lips. If he goes down on you then you should take up his suggestion, if he doesn't then don't

    • Yeah if your "down there" was considered for a supporting role in the original Star Wars trilogy, you need to shave.

    • Oh yeaaaaa

    • Bad example girl, the women who live deep in the forest of brazil actually have their stuff clean as it can be. Maybe it's genetic, because I don't think they shave it :/

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What Girls & Guys Said

22 26

  • Ask him to shave himself more hygenic.

  • Relationships are a two way street, sometimes you gotta compromise.

    I think you should shave for him, just because he did ask but this gives you the right now to have him do something for you in compromise. If he refuses to do it, then refuse to shave.

    Or...

    Ask him to shave down there so you don't have to get his pubes in your mouth when you go down on him, see how he takes it.

  • I know this is old but I'm gonna answer anyway :P haha

    Maybe that tiny little bit of hair gets stuck in his teeth or tickles his nose? (If he does that for you). Or maybe he simply prefers bald. But I seriously doubt he finds you gross :)

  • Guys have different preferences... Read the poll where this girl asks guys how they preferr the pubic hair. You'll see that some guys enjoy hair. So don't take it as an insult but more like his personal preference.

  • Maybe he just wants some change?

    I usually keep myself trimmed or shaved. Enspecially when I'm gonna go see my boyfriend.

    Think about the flipside: does he shave or his he bushy? You put your mouth/ect down there too.

  • tell him OK, if he shaves you.

    • That's such a cool comment!

    • A friend of mine used to do it as part of 'quality time' with his girlfriend. I thought it was kinda cool since its such a chore and hard to se- but not for the guy cause he gets to play:) It usually ended up in oral -but that's up to the couple :)

  • oh god! the sacrifices you have to make to make sex more enjoyable for your lover...

  • If he asked you right after sex I'd find it a bit odd. But especially if he's going down on you, I'd do it. I personally wouldn't be so particular to say a girl should shave it bald or almost bald, but I don't want hairs in my mouth. If I'm not putting my tongue there, I'd say most anything short of a 70's style bush would be OK.

  • not at all. wold you want his pubs in your face?

    just shave it yull probably like it

  • I'd say do it

  • Its not gross, but he asked you in a very insecure way which is why you got pissed off.

    If he just would have said " I like it shaved" instead of asking for your permission to ask another question, then you could have either done it or not based on if you want to please him with what he wants or not.

    • if he had said that she still probably would have gotten all defensive about it.

    • i doubt it. Stating what you want as a "take it or leave it" type statement is the best way to talk about these kinds of things. Saying things half assed with a subconscious asking for permission invites defensiveness because its based off insecurity. When someone is secure about themselves, they don't feel inhibited to state what they like. That confidence would turn her on, not make her defensive.

  • Personally I trim my pubic hair, and it doesn't bother my boyfriend. He doesn't mind it natural, trimmed or shaven because he finds me beautiful whatever way I am, and is just glad I'm normal, and that pubic hair is something that's meant to be there! Don't go doing something you don't wanna do is all I'll say. maybe you should try it though, just for a go! I've done it before and didn't like the way it grew back stubbly and had to shave every day but you might think differently. :)

  • The only place a girl ahould have hair is on her head. Pubic hair is f***ing gross on a girl. and a guy should be trimmed

  • First, try really hard not to get ppissed and freak out on your boyfriend for making suggestions in the nicest way he possibly can. It sets a terrible precedent. You WANT him to talk to you about things he likes and feels without fear of you ripping his head off. It makes relationships much, much better.

    As for the actual request, you should do it. It's a pretty common preference, and part of being in a relationship is making small sacrifices for your partner. If he was asking for something crazy like a threesome or anal or something, then by all means, tell him hell no. But in the grand scheme of things, shaving off a little bit of already groomed hair is a pretty minor event.

  • Maybe he should have "made a request." It's body hair, it grows back.

  • He just doesn't like it because it probably bothers it

  • then do it!

  • I think that's kind of aggressive. But if I were you I would say, "Shave your hairy balls then."

    • Lol I agree

  • As long as your not keeping a jungle down there your good. Since you are "neatly groomed" I would say don't worry about it. He has watched a lot of p*rn lol and all the girl in p*rn are shaved. He is just trying to live out what he thinks in his head. Not that, that is a bad thing. If it bothers you to shave then don't. However, don't have a forest that he has to wade through when he wants to go "down there".

  • i can't shave down there without getting a serious rash, I just keep it trimmed. trimmed is nice enough for me. I found a lot of girls I've been with prefer themselves shaved

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