Why won't my boyfriend kiss me in public!?

My boyfriend only holds my hand if I hold his first...he very rarely even initiates a kiss and if he does it's a peck. if we make out I ALWAYS have to be the one to make the move. especially in public. he will be very shy and timid and TRY to hug me then stop..then get closer to me and stop...then I grab him and hug him. the other day we were at a bar together and I grabbed his face and was going to kiss him but he blushed and turned away giggling. I don't get it! tomorrow is our one year anniversary, he is 25 and I'm 26. I'm not ugly at all, I have a pretty face and pretty blond hair, SURE I'm not the skinniest girl in the world but I'm not overweight either. I'd like to think I'm good looking but him acting this way has made me start thinking maybe I'm not good looking at all.

in the bedroom he gets turned on very easily by me and I mean very easily so there's no problem there it's mostly in public. he SUCKS at PDA. and thing is, he used to be all cuddly with one of his exes in public, and I was told he even had sex in front of some people at a party with another ex before! now the latter of the two is a liiiittle too far for me but I'd at least like him to hug me more and kiss me in public and not be so weird about it! I have told him I'm sad he isn't more publicly affectionate with me and still..he's shy. why would a guy be this way? why would a guy go from having SEX on the couch with his ex with people around at a party, to not even wanting to kiss me with people around? what should I do? I really thought I wasn't that bad looking at all...maybe I'm wrong?

sorry for double post <3 <3


Most Helpful Guy

  • This reminds me of an episode of That 70's Show. Red Foreman's wife, Kitty Foreman is upset because she remembered that (when they were younger and before they dated) that Red passionately kissed and groped his old girlfriend in a theater but Kitty never got any of that.

    He explains that he loved and respected Kitty far too much. His old girlfriend was just a "booty call" kind of girl but the thing he had with Kitty was special.

    • lol I saw that one. I think they went to the movies that night ;)

    • lol that episode was really funny

What Guys Said 17

  • Maybe he's regretful for all that crazy stuff he did, and he's found someone who really matters so he doesn't want to screw things up?

  • I personally don't like to kiss in public. I'm just too conservative to find it appropriate, not for myself, at least. A lot of guys are that way. I can't really see the need to periodically kiss my girlfriend in public, to what? Show everyone that I really am dating her?

    Perhaps he's grown more reserved since his last relationship and no longer thinks that kind of public behavior is necessarily model behavior.

  • Im sure it has nothing to do with your looks :) why do girls always jump to that? It could just be your special in his heart and he wants to take it slow or he is nervous. :)

  • What's so wrong on kissing on public? I totally love it, I do french kiss in front of whoever is watching me cause I simply don't give a f*** however if the guy you're with doesn't like to be kissed in public then he's emberassed of being stared at while getting kissed. He's inhibited apparently.

    • idk because he used to do it with his ex and had sex in front of people with her, that's the only thing I don't get. weird.

    • Then I think he's not considering you that attractive.

    • idk why he'd think that because I'm the best looking girl he's ever been w...he used to be really fat and not know how to match clothing so he could never get hot women... lol

  • i personally am not into pda. I think that's something personal the whole world's business.

    maybe in your bf's case, he realized now that he does not like all that pda?

  • try dating a guy

    not a girl

  • some guys don't appove of PDA(public display of affection)

    others; like myself, don't mind at all and find it flattering.

    yur guy sounds like the initial choice. but I could be wrong because he has done it b4. and that leads me to believe its you. at the same time it could be something he's going thru

    what did he say when yu told him you want him to be more PDA'ish?

    • he told me he's nervous to do it with me because I'm intimidating

    • Show All
    • blah that's what I do...im starting to think its because his ex was extremely thin and I'm not

    • after a year of dating, if a girl couldn't kiss me in public id be sum what insulted. probably how yur feeling now, my advice is if he can't do that for you then you should find someone who isn't embarrassed to kiss you in public,

  • Maybe he is ashamed cause he is a bad kisser?

    When I was 14 I was afraid to kiss my girlfriend in public because I wasn't the best kisser in the beginning. But a month later I didn't mind at all

    • did you remember to read the bottom about the ex?

    • Excuse me .

      I just read it. I just can't understand how the guy thinks :s


  • You should ask him why he doesn't give you affection in public? And ask him if he could. Goodluck.

  • Maybe you look like a man?

    • really? I've never been told that before...maybe you are just bitter and feel the need to be cruel to someone who you have NO idea what they look like, because you are a sad pathetic piece of garbage who probably has a girlfriend who looks like a damned troll ;)

    • Hey was just throwing it out there no need to get snappy. Maybe we just found out the real reason.

    • thanks just kill my self esteem even more. I knew men were complete jerks who love to make women hate themselves and hate their looks. thanks for proving it true...dont worry I hate myself enough ok? I'm short (wish I was tall), have huge boobs (wish they were small) have blond hair (wish I was brunette but it doesn't look good) have small hands, ugly blue eyes, wide hips (I hate having them) and want tot I'm normal size and I hate it. I hate everything about my looks but I don't look like a man

  • He may have been drunk off his ass at the party, just sayin lol. I'm not that good at PDA also, because I know there's at least 5 other chicks staring at who I'm with. Makes me uneasy.

  • I think you should Adapt to him,not just blame him. If you can make sure he love you forever,that's will be enough

    • why do I have to adapt to him? he should meet me halfway...

  • He might just be a shy guy.. because trust me a guy like me.. I jus go all in when such a move comes in

  • Its nothing really to worry about, I hated showing pda, could not do it, but didn't mean I loved my girlfriend to death

  • Some guys just feel nervous kissing in public, he doesn't mean anything, I should know I am one of those guys but I still like my girlfriend

    • but why would he wanna kiss and have sex in front of people with his exes?

  • It's kinda awkward to kiss in public. Personally, I wouldn't.


What Girls Said 12

  • Prehaps he doesn't like 'Public displays' of affection, and he wouldn't be the only one. What's he like when you are alone? is he more into it then? If he is then I would say this was the case.

    If he isn't, then I would slightly question why?. Some people just aren't like that, some just like the kissing and hugging here and there, doesn't have to mean anything, its just the way they are.

    Asking him about it would help to clear your mind..

  • please try to refrain from posting the same question twice. I answered your other one already.

    • i posted this one like 4 days later because I didn't get any answers at the time. I clicked "make feature question" and waited I think 2 days and it never cameup so I thot I'd repost to see if I'd get answers. I guess when I went outta town for the weekend it got featured <3 sorries

    • its cool, just remember to try to wait a few weeks before reposting

  • its probably ot personal, some guys ae just so shy

  • he could be really shy. I steal kisses from my boyfriend and he loves it. every guys is different.

  • That's not right. There is defiantly something wrong with a guy who won't give you at least a little PDA. I hate to break it to you, but if this guy claims he is "shy" it is a complete load of horse sh*t if he has had sex in public before. I think he's either not into you, hiding or is guilty about something. Have you tried talking to him? Try asking him about the couch incident and see what he says about it. If he can't come clean with you it might be time to consider breaking it off.

  • dis is dificult

    have you ask him if his shy in public? I think is the best way to know if his insecure or he's ashamed or wut

    ask him nicely and without confrontation or anything

  • He probably respects you more than he did whoever he was with before. Different people bring out different behaviors in people. Maybe he is shy

  • hey tbh I don't think its cos your bad looking , I don't bilieve that atall I think its either because he likes you so much he's just gone really shy , or some insecurity he's got with himself , talk to him and tell him how you feell .x

  • You're reading way too far into it! It's not that you aren't pretty, so don't worry your cute head with that nonsense! ; )

    He's just bashful. And maybe he's learned some things from those past experiences that resonate with him, and are dissuading him from acting on impulse again. I can understand if this is the case, and he's scared.

    Maybe he's found that he doesn't like PDA all that much after all. By wanting to kiss you behind closed doors, it kinda seems to me that you must mean a good deal more to him than those other girls. Why change? - maybe he's worried about your opinion of his past behavior, and wants to turn over a new leaf.

    Hope this helps!

  • I personally don't like to "french kissing" in public and I've dated many other guys who feel the same way so he might just one of us.

    You said he was shy so maybe that too.

    I say you ask him respectfully.

  • Usally they are shy and want it to be in pivite

  • I had a boyfriend who said he did not like PDA but he and I did kiss, hold hands and show affection in public. I think he was springing back from being in a situation where he was with a girl who he just had a casual sexual deal with. He felt badly about living like that for several years. He wanted to prove to people that he could be in a relationship. I enjoyed the side effect of that. He and I eventually broke up because after he tried to be this guy, he realized he is a confirmed player that prefers having a lot of time to himself and is willing to deal with the work of finding occasional hookups.