Blacked out drunk, woke up in bed with random boy. :( help me please.

[Anonymous]

Blacked out drunk and woke up in bed with guy. please please help me.? So, on Saturday I went out with a group of my girlfriends to Hollywood to go to a club. Long story short, we didn't make it to the club so we went back to some guy's house. We ended up drinking there, but I don't even remember being there, AT ALL. Last thing I remember is driving back from Hollywood with my friends and then the next thing I remember is waking up in bed completely naked with this guy! I talked to my friends and they said that they had no idea that I was with him and they started to wonder where we were and someone told them we were in his room. they told me they stayed outside of his room knocking for about a half hour but the mom got mad and kicked them out for being rude and disrupting their sleep. I don't remember them knocking I don't remember going to this guys room, or even how I got there. This guy is known for screwing anything and everything that crosses his path and I'm so scared that we may not have used protection and I may have something. I can't file a police report because I'm under age to drink, I'm 18, AND I HAVE A BOYFRIEND who I love and adore with everything in me. I can't have him find out about any of this because I know he will leave me. I have no idea what to do from here, I feel so guilty. Tonight, we went out to the movies and one of the scenes, people were having a one night stand and I felt so guilty, I felt like I couldn't even breathe so I excused myself to the restroom and AS SOON as I got out of my chair I felt like my chest was caving in, I ran outside and just started crying and crying and I felt like I couldn't catch my breath so I went and sat down in the restroom and it took everything inside of me not to throw up. I am so disgusted with myself, I hate myself for what I did. I told my mom everything and she thinks I shouldn't tell him because he will leave me and he's such a good guy. I've had incidents where I've drank and blacked out before, and my boyfriend knows about these too. Many of my aunts and uncles are alcoholics as well as my grandparents. I just feel like I'm going down the same road as them. I don't know what to do, I don't know how I can live with this overwhelming feeling of guilt of 1)getting so drunk 2) cheating on my boyfriend of almost 2 years. I hate myself. please, help.

[FallenRose]

I'm only going to be honest and straight forward.

Now judging by your question I know you feel guilty for cheating on your boyfriend. As "Mia 246" advised, try contacting this random guy and finding out if you guys had unprotected sex. I hope this is a lesson you've learnt. You shouldn't take advantage of alcohol/beer.

Well I think you shouldn't lie to your boyfriend. He has a right to know, I mean not telling him now will most probably make things worse, then him finding out you are pregnant. If he finds out in that way things can get worse. If you really love him you'd be loyal to him and tell him the truth no matter what the outcome is. He has a right to know. I believe that lying only opens another "negative door" and if you keep lying and lying it'd be much worse then if you actually told the truth. You seem like you obviously don't want to tell him and in the end it's your call. That guy took advantage of you and if you ever find him and ask him if you two had unprotected sex, by the sounds of him I personally wouldn't take his word. Just get a pregnancy test just in case and try to limit the amount of alcohol/beer you consume.

[Asker]

thank you for your input

[FallenRose]

No worries :D

[Anonymous]

It's clear that you feel terrible about what happened. This has actually happened to me. About 90% of the time I drink I blackout and about 4 times I have ended up in bed with guys and not remembered who they were, how I got there etc. Luckily, for me they have been nice and said you were really drunk nothing happened, I had all my clothes on etc etc. One time it happened I had a boyfriend. I did end up telling him. He was upset but said it was OK, but years later he told me it hurt him and that's why he had changed etc (cos we were having probs) One thing I learnt was I can't handle alchohol AT ALL. I do things which I would never dream of doing while I'm drunk. And I never remember any of it, To me it;'s like it was someone else. So you really need to watch what you drink and how much. I agree with the person below - make sure your boyfriend is there or you have friends you can trust to look after you. I'm 24 and this has only been happening in the last 2-3 years. In terms of telling your boyfriend I think you should, and hope that he understands. Your still young I hope you learn from this situation. good luck

[Asker]

yeah, its pretty horrible. I hope you stop drinking like I will, maybe we can be support buddies. xo

[Mia_246]

Is there any chance of you contacting this random guy (is he a friend of a friend etc) and asking him what happened? As unlikely as it is nothing may have happened between you both and that would lessen your guilt.

If there's no way at all that you could contact him and you really really like your boyfriend (and think he'd break up with you for sure if you did tell him) I'd say you have to weigh up which situation you can live with more:

- you tell him and you have a chance of breaking up (but also a chance of staying together)

- you don't tell him and you stay together but then have to find a way to let go of the guilt (there's also a chance that someone else may tell him later on down the track)

Either way I think it'd be a good idea to not drink as much next time you go out, especially because your family has a history of alcohol abuse. Hope you can figure things out OK, remember everyone makes mistakes :)

xxx

[Asker]

yes there is, I asked him, he said we had unprotected sex. I have a dr appt this Thursday thank you very much for your kind words.

[Mia_246]

No problem- I've made many mistakes so far in life, the important thing is to learn from them which you clearly have :)

[Distant]

If you can't live with the guilt that you've cheated on your boyfriend then it may be time to break up with him. At the very least, tell him that you've blacked out. That's just addressing the guilt. You may want to stop drinking so much if you're prone to blacking out and may end up in this type of situation. As crappy as the realisation of not being able to drink is at such a young age, you don't want to keep running into similar problems. If you don't want to stop drinking and if your boyfriend sticks around. NEVER go to a party without him being there. This will ensure that he's around to take care of you as friends aren't nearly as reliable as your boyfriend.

~Distant

[Asker]

i just have to figure out how to live with the guilt. thank you though. <3

[l-hedoniste]

Get tested, STDs and pregnancy. Get the random's name and number, in case either test comes back positive. In future, drink much less.

Re: boyfriend. Say nothing, do nothing. If all else fails, blame the alcohol. In future, drink much less.

Finally, you can forgive (yourself) but you must not forget. You just got a notice about how your life is going, one saying you need to make some changes.

In future, drink much less.

Good luck.

[Asker]

I agree. thank you very, very much.

[djhohrath]

you may have been drugged id go with that just so your boyfriend hates you less

[MikeK]

No sympathy for you.

[Asker]

nobody said I was asking for sympathy, I was clearly asking for advice.

[Anonymous]

Entirely your fault. I'm tired of Kids doing stupid sh*t like this. You must have known you can't handle alcohol. And are you sure you weren't roofied? That's the only factor that would take the blame away from you.

[Asker]

OKAAAAAAAAAY, wonderful. thanks for all your help.

[Opinion Owner]

Well I didn't want to bother with helping since there are plenty good answers. And the chosen best answer is good.