Sleeping over his house-sex expected?

[Anonymous]

Would a guy ask me to sleep over to JUST sleep, or does it automatically mean sex? (I know he wouldn't pass on sex if I offered, but is it expected?) I had class with this guy last semester, so we would see each other several times a week for a few months...but besides small talk with him/other students we never really got to know each other (too busy paying attention!) Anyway, we recently started talking about a week or so ago. He took me out for ice cream, told me he only lives about 5 min from my house and since we're "neighbors" we should hang out more often. A few days later he invited me over to his house and we watched a few movies (of course his TV is in his bedroom ahh). He just layed next to me without touching me, until I got scared and grabbed his arm...then the cuddling began. Anyway, it was getting late and it was getting hard to keep my eyes open so he said I could crash for the night if I wanted. I told him I was going to go home, but stayed with him for the rest of the movie. Again, while we were putting on our coats for him to walk me outside, he said "you know you can crash here, right?" or something like that and I told him that if I slept over I would never wake up in time for class the next day. So, he said it was cool and then again said something along the lines of "well, maybe over the weekend we can make plans for you to spend the night." He then walked me to my car and I don't know I think he was waiting for me to kiss him. I was just unlocking my door and he told me he didn't want me to leave yet, but then he didn't do anything. So, I leaned in to kiss him...we had a couple sweet closed mouth kisses, but I stopped because I didn't feel like/wasn't ready for a wrestling match of the mouths, lol. He asked me if I didn't like kissing and I told him I loved it, but just not tonight. Before I left he said we should get together soon and for me to call/text him or whatever. So, although I feel very comfortable with him and the cuddling seemed so natural, is it too soon to sleep over? I wouldn't want to have sex/fool around besides kissing. I had briefly mentioned before when we were having ice cream that I don't like having sex with guys who I am not in a relationship with and he replied "yeah, it's better when it's with someone you care about". I don't know what his intentions are if I were to spend the night. I know if I wanted to have sex, he'd give it to me...but would he be cool with it if I didn't? I am going to bring this up to him eventually, but I wanted a preview of what to expect!

[Anonymous]

I wouldn't sleep at a guy's house if I was not planning on having sex with him. It sends a conflicting message, as well as leaves you too vulnerable in case he is expecting sex and doesn't take it well if/when you deny him. Any time a guy asks you to sleep over, assume that he has more than sleep on his mind. Tell him how you feel and let him know you don't feel comfortable having sex at this moment. If he has decent intentions then he should understand, if not then you dodged a bullet. But do not spend the night at a guy's house unless you are DTF

[Asker]

Thanks! I'm glad I said I wanted to go home!

[MrOracle]

I've had girls stay the night without expecting sex, but none of us can really say what this guy expects.

I would just talk to him and be up-front and direct: tell him that you don't like to move too fast at the beginning of a relationship, and you just want him to know that moving at a slower pace doesn't have anything to do with your feelings for him. You'll kill two birds with one stone that way, and there won't be any confusion or wondering about where your boundaries are.

[Asker]

Thanks =)

[dudeisthatu]

well if the guy is too immature to wait if you want to wait then he might not be the right guy an also, stayign the night usually means sex or he will try but not alwas. id say be blunt an tell him your not ready for that point between you two an if he understand s then great if not then you decide. but tell him your not ready face to face so you know weather or not he is taking your seriously or if he is just sayin ok.

[Shaun]

If he does break it off with you, then it's a good thing you didn't have sex with him, right?

[Shaun]

He wants sex. The question is does he want to be in an exclusive relationship?