When I give my boyfriend a hand job he pushes my hand away and does it himself. Why?

[Anonymous]

My boyfriend and I are very sexually active but when we can't have sex I'm more than willing to get him off with a hand or blow job. He says it feels really good but I just barely get stroking him and he pushes my hand away and beats himself off while I sit there. I've watched how he does it himself so I have an idea of what he likes and I ask him if it feels good and if he likes it this way or that way and the answer is always yes, yet he ALWAYS pushes me away and does it himself. It makes me feel like I'm not good enough and that he would rather do it himself which to me seems very selfish. He'll lay there ontop of me and beat off and then I lay there wondering why the hell am I even here for this... He won't play with my breasts or kiss me or even pull my hair... He just pushes me away and has at it for himself! I really don't like it and it makes me feel useless just laying there while he strokes like a jackhammer, gets off all over my shirt, rolls off and goes to sleep. We have been dating for 8 months and I have only gotten oral twice and I have countless times given him oral or stroked him but EVERY time I stroke him or put him in my mouth he pushes me away and does himself. Someone please help me! Is he that selfish that I might as well just let him do it on his own in the shower? I so want to be a part of it because I'm more than willing to do anything he wants but he's making me feel like an ass because of his actions.

[ctan6697]

I think you should probably ask him why this is the case, but don't ask him when you are in the moment. He won't really be listening. I'd ask him when you have a good amount of time to hold a conversation. Not when you are naked. If he doesn't want to talk about it, or doesn't give you a satisfactory answer I would seriously give the relationship a second thought. From my own experience, a guy who is selfish or cold in bed will eventually show those tendencies in other areas of the relationship. I am sure you have heard this before, but a relationship is equal parts give and take. This includes in bed as well. Don't waste time on a man who isn't making an effort.

On the other hand, if you do not communicate to him what is bothering you, you can't get mad at him for changing. He doesn't know he has to. Just asking him if a certain thing feels good, does not count as a conversation. You are not communicating to him what is bothering you.

[Asker]

I've tried talking to him many times but with no response. He just wants to change the subject and pretend I never asked. Selfish is the conclusion I've come to...

[Anonymous]

My tip on how to give the perfect hand job. Step one, use your mouth.

See if he pushes that away

[Distant]

He sounds like a bit of a selfish lover which shouldn't be too much of a concern. Just find a way to get him to return the favor. The reason why he's pushing you away and doing it himself is because he's more concern with achieving orgasm than with you two having sexual 'fun time'. He knows EXACTLY how he likes it whereas you may not (Not judging your skill). If this persists. Simply stick to blow jobs.

~Distant

[Anonymous]

Try sucking just the head and let him jack off into your mouth. That way you'll both be involved. Plus he'll f***ing love it.

[Asker]

I've tried that and he wants me to just lay there and say nothing and do nothing while he tries to orgasm on my face. I give him blow jobs ALL the time and he always says how great it feels and I know it must because it doesn't take him very long to explode. I would just like the favor returned... We've been together for nine months and he has given me oral only once and that was when he was so drunk he couldn't remember it and that was our first time

[Opinion Owner]

Sometimes guys feel like losers by giving oral. They think they should be able to make you orgasm sufficiently by thrusting and that if they have to do something else then they are not as good of a man. In reality only some women can come like this because it takes the right partner to bring out this kind of orgasm in them. Your man seems like he's selfish. Trade up.

[Asker]

I'm one of those women than can orgasm within seconds and it doesn't have to be internal stimulation and he knows this so I don't get what his problem is.

[Shaun]

A lot of women don't know how to give a good handjob or blowjob.

[nickiagney]

well uhhh you haven't met a good girl then. lmao.

[Shaun]

Or maybe nobody has told you the truth before.

[Asker]

I really don't think that's the case... I've gotten constructive criticism from guys and used that advise and been told its great so I'm agreeing with nick

[Shaun]

You can agree with nick all you want. The reality is that you are being pushed away when you reach for it.

[boingofan]

I think he gets off having you watch him. Play along once and just ask him in a sexy voice if he enjoys you watching. Something like Do you enjoy it while I'm watching you stroke your cock