He stuck his d*** up my ass when I was asleep?

My boyfriend and I decided to have a little nap yesterday, I'm notmally a heavy sleeper and don't hear anything while I'm asleep. Someone usually has to shake me for a while or make a lot of loud noises to wake me up. I wasn't really asleep when we had a nap, I was just very relaxed. My boyfriend thought I was asleep and whipped out his ****, pulled down my pants a bit and put it in my ass..I didn't move and I pretended to be asleep because a, I wanted to see how far he'd go while I was 'asleep', b, I wanted to see if he would confess about it when I woke up, and c, I didn't want to embarass him if I told him I wasn't asleep.. he didn't confess, he just acted like nothing happened. I'm not ready for sex, we've done a lot of sexual activities, but not sex. Is what he did harmful in any way? And do you think he'll confess to it?

Updates:
Forgot to mention.. When I 'woke up' he jumped up so quickly, pulled up my pants and left the room to 'fix' himself. When he came back, he started kissing me then told me it was time to go home.

There are a lot of comments so I thought it would be easier to reply in an update then to all of your answers. I appreciate your answers though. He didn't fully put it in, I could tell, but he did still do it. Basically 95% of you are saying it's rape because he did it without my consent, so should I talk to him about it? How should I go about that without making either of us feel uncomfortable? How do I know if he has or has not done it before? It did hurt a bit and I did flinch, but he knows
that when I'm cold, I shake a lot. I was shaking a lot too, but I'm assuming he just thought I was cold. I love him a lot and I know he's not just using me for sex or he wouldn't have stuck around so long.
 

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Most Helpful Opinion

  • Hopefully he gets a lovely infection then his knob shrivels up and drops off. I'd consider any form of sex, especially if it hasn't been performed in a relationship yet, without consent little more than rape. You should definitely talk to him about this, and find out why he did it and also what he did it for. It could be he was aiming for something else and missed, or he simply has a serious problem and you might have to leave him because of it. I don't know, you seem to have mixed feelings on him judging by your updates, so it's hard to really give you advice.So long as you don't mind it and perhaps you tell him not to do it later on in the relationship, things could go okay. Find out if he's done it before and again, why he did it, before you make any decisions, though. You might think he's not about just sex, but it is possible that it is what he wants - and he's been biding his time until he got it, but became impatient.There are many different possibilities. Ask him, and make sure you get the truth.

What Guys Said 8

  • If he's pulling down your pants and doing this while you're asleep, he won't confess to it. It's a little out of the ordinary to be doing this sort of thing and it may be a form of sexual assault if you didn't want it. However, he may have a paraphailia known as 'Somnophilia'. See: link ~Distant

    • It's unlikely he has somnophilia. That's a cute idea but somniphiles in healthy relationships generally talk about it first rather than just do it.

    • Show Older
    • This is his first relationship and mine as well. He seems to be horny a lot due to the fact that we're not having sex. But thanks for your answers. Refer to the top of the page for an update

    • You do understand that a philia is actually something generally required for arousal and orgasm right? It's not "Oh, she's sleeping, let me try because I'm horny" it's "She's sleeping, that MAKES me horny" or "I MUST have sex with sleeping people." There's a difference because a sleep fetish is not equivalent. Philias / Phobias and Fetishes / Mental Illnesses usually go hand in hand so it's hard to differentiate though. He was just horny.

  • Yeah.I have a question for you; Why the f*** are you still with him?!

    • @update; you'll be surprised how long guys will stay with someone purely for sex.his actions would the oposite of what you believe, don't fool yourself into thinking otherwise.

  • Tell him you feel like talking to a doctor because for some reason your ass is sore. Mention irritable bowel syndrome because you can't figure out what it could be. That might get him to confess.

  • You guys are all tripping, she didn't stop him because D she enjoyed it.

    • We can't and shouldn't speak for her. It is still rape, enjoyed or not, due to the lack of consent and the fact that he is hiding it, which suggests that given the chance to do it again he would or worse that he's done it before and it's habitual behavior.

    • Show Older
    • dude. she's a VIRGIN. you don't have sex with a 'sleeping' virgin...

    • Yeah, if they haven't been sexual, then it's different.

  • Did you like it? Did it hurt?

  • Girly: He missed. He hit your ass, but he probably was aiming for your vagina. Just a pro-tip you need to know.

  • Will he confess to raping a girl in her sleep ...Good question.

    • :s

  • This guys a jerk. You didn't want to embarrass him? He's violating YOU & you didn't want to embarrass him?How can you just lay there & pretend your still sleeping especially when this is your first anal? Wasn't it painful?If you didn't want him to do it or your not ready you should have slapped his d*ck & then his face.

    • It was a bit painful and I was trying not to move, I'm surprised he didn't notice I was awake. Refer back to my update please

    • How should I go about that without making either of us feel uncomfortable? HE SHOULD BE MADE TO UNCOMFORTABLE! If it has been agreed that you are not ready or not going to have sex He is WRONG! Could be he "thought" he was going in the other hole which is even worse. He is thinking of his own pleasure ONLY.If you two are having sex & he was "playing" with you different story. It sounds like he tried to violate you without your consent. CONFRONT him.

What Girls Said 9

  • Thats like rape, you didn't say he could do it and he didn't ask..so disrespectful. He won't say anything because he thinks he's got away with it. I'd have a talk about that if I were you, if he does that while your asleep then he might try having sex with you vaginally aswell.

    • :/

    • Just being honest..

    • Why would you have to ask I wouldn't care if some girl forcefully f***ed me who cares we were in the same place for numerous hours anyways.

  • If your just gonna defend him then your stupid, enjoy your lies I MEAN lives together

  • Wow it just slipped right up there? When my boyfriend and I tried it anal we had to use a heck of a lot of lube.. But yeah that's pretty sick of him, dump him.

    • Read my update please. Thank you

  • i don't believe you let that happen and didn't move, or flinch or moan. In fact it is not possible to be f***ed in the arse and not move or make a sound unless you're bound & gagged (or maybe you're in p*rn with an arse the size of a bucket and desensitiser up there). if, as you say you don't want sex yet, then that includes anal, so if you haven't done it before it's simply not true that you didn't make noises of discomfort - it doesn't slip in & out quite so easily.unless he has a knob the size of a pea - who're you kidding.

    • Please check my update. Thank you

    • Completely agree with this!

  • I sure hope for your sake that he doesn't have any stds.

    • The STDs are the least of our worries; if the man is sticking his penis up a butt and NOT CLEANING IT SHORTLY AFTER you have a lot more to worry about. I hope he's never done this around her rectal area and either A ) torn her, because she won't know to clean it or B ) had any form of intercourse with her, I.E. waking her with this and then getting oral sex.Oh lord this has gotten disgusting so fast.

  • HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHATROLLIN DOWN THE RIVER

    • You're a babe I would shove it in your ass anyday.

    • lord...

  • that's rape.you are an idiot.have a nice day!

  • oh my goodness, he is a total jerk. leave him. he violated you. he had anal sex with you without your consent, that is sodomy. if he could do that what other bounderies he won't cross, like rape and abuse. the question ain't if he will confess, the question should be when are you going to confront him about it. because even if you don't leave him and you dnt tell him about this, he is going to feel like what he did is totally OK. my x boyfriend did this to me but he knew I wasn't asleep, it hurt so bad. I left him because after that things just got worst. this action shows that he does not respect you and value you as a woman.

    • women don't really like to be valued I go home after hangin out with her the whole day and two days later I call or text her and she doesn't answer sh*t why should I value that?

    • i don't know, I know what this guy did is wrong and no woman deserves that no matter what she may have done.

  • You must have a rather loose asshole to have still led there and pretended to be asleep!

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