My boyfriend is a virgin...

But I'm not. I've actually been with a few other people before him. He's good at everything else and I don't mind that he's a virgin. plus there's no way I would take someones virginity that is saving it for marriage. that's wrong. but playtime just gets annoying because it's like the same thing everytime. Is it wrong for me to get annoyed with this? sometimes it really stresses me out. and I feel guilty for that.


Most Helpful Guy

  • No, it's probably not wrong, but maybe you need to stop and think a minute what exactly you wanted in a boyfriend when you guys decided to start going together. Was it because you had a lot of things in common so that you just naturally started going together? Was it because you were bored with your last boyfriend? Was it because you thought you'd be able to talk him into having sex with you sooner than this or that you didn't know he was a virgin? Whatever the reason if you really like him I guess you have to decide what you want right now, a boyfriend that you really like, trust and want to be committed to, or if he's just a boyfriend that fills a spot in your life at the moment. If it's the first, then feel lucky that he's not slept around like you have and that you're probably very special to him. If it's the second and you're feeling left out that you can do the sexual things you're used to doing in a relationship, then maybe you need to consider letting him know and then moving on. If you can't even think of him as a guy you'd ever marry then don't think you're gonna be happy with him because like you said, playtime is already getting annoying to you. If things don't change for you, it'll probably keep getting more annoying. If he's just a casual boyfriend, no need to keep feeling stressed or guilty. Just tell him where you stand! If he's much more than that, have sweet talks with him and tell him how much you love him and see what you guys have in common when it comes to the sexual part of your relationship.


What Guys Said 3

  • Being annoyed is okay, but being annoyed and keeping it to yourself is a horrible idea. You have to talk this out with your man, or you'll wind up resenting him, becoming bitter, and doing something really nasty.

  • Look, if he's a virgin (like me) then be gentle with him. I'm talking about the way you treat your intimacy. Maybe he wants to make love, but is afraid to. But if he knows you've "gone the distance" than that's more stress on him than it is on you, perhaps. Is he saving sex for marriage? Then respect that. Let him go at his own pace. Don't frustrate his sexual plan. Like the person below said, if you really like him, be willing to make sacrifices until the relationship is consummated. Otherwise, if you don't respect his wishes, perhaps you don't care enough about him to pursue a compromise. Capiche?


What Girls Said 4

  • It's not bad. However, you need to respect his wishes, and, if he doesn't want to have sex before marriage, not push him. You wouldn't like it if someone pushed you.

    But yes, it's completely normal to get annoyed with it. I know I would get annoyed with it, too, so don't feel bad. How about you two put something new in your playtime? What about trying some light bondage or watching porn together?

    • Hey girl don't worry I'm in the exact same situation. My boyfriend is still a virgin too, but don't stress out b patient and respect his wishes. It's hard 4 me 2 bcuz when my guy and I fool around it's the samething over and over, but I try to spice things up by buying edible underwear or rubbing ice all over his body or using candy. Believe me it's very fun! I even stripped for him and gave him a lap dance! Just b patient, try new things, and respect his wishes! Good luck 2 u!

  • I'm 22 and my man is 19 I go throught the same thing. I felt really bad for christmas I bought him a walled and filled it with condoms lol he told me the other day that the reason that he hasn't had sex with me is cause he's a virgin. He pleases me in every other way he asked me to move in this new years! All I have to say is that it can only get better I know when he is ready it will be amazing and as long as your pleasing each other. I think that he is teaching me patience which is a really good thing, every time I see him I get soo excited. Just start looking at it as the glass half full, you will feel worse if you try to get sex else were so enjoy you do for each other.

  • oomg, I know EXACTLY how you feel, my boyfriend is almost 20 , I don't think he's saving himself for anyone, but he's still a virggin, and I'm not, whenever were together, its the same thing, making out,and you know the other stuff, but no sex.

    it does get annoying, and like on my part, I feel like if I caame on waay to strong he might get scareed and back offf.

    so I compltely understand where your coming from, its not wrong to get annoyed,trust me.

  • i also what you're going through. my boyfriend and are are both 21, ans weve been going out for a little over a year now. he's not saving himself for marriage, but he's not ready to have sex yet. I on the other hand, had a bit wild of a past, and have been with my share of men. we are serious about eachother, and when we are together what we do in bed is pretty amazing, but it hasn't always been that way. nothing has ever been bad, but in the beginning it was definately frutrating for me because I wanted so much more, and I knew that it wasnt a possibility. the great thing though is that now, we know exactly what each other wants and needs, and the best ways to get it done. I've never been with someone who understands me so well, and even though weve never slept together, he's the best I've ever had.

    its completely normal to feel like you're missing out, but if you really care about him, then talk it through, and do anything to make it better. my relationship is long distance, he goes to school in another part of the state, so we have cyber date nights, and when we visit each other we always make sure to do something special, even if its simple. I really appreciate it