I'm almost 21 and I've never had a boyfriend, but I've had sex. Will a future boyfriend care?

[Anonymous]

If I start dating someone will they think I'm weird because I've never had a boyfriend? not even a childhood sweetheart, like most girls. What do I tell him if he asks about my past relationships? I've been on dates before and guys ask questions like "so what's the longest relationship you've had" and "how long have you been single" well my answers are never had one, and I've been single all my life. What will they think? That there's something wrong with me? I have had sex once though, it was a mistake. I thought the guy would like me better if I did what he wanted, I know that was wrong now though & learned from the mistake. I now know that sex won't get you a boyfriend, and you should get to know them properly and wait till you develop mutual feelings before having sex so the guy doesn't just leave after He's got what he wants! But what will guys think about me because I'm not a virgin and I've never had a relationship? Also where can you meet guys that want to commit and not just to fool around?

[heatherlu]

Before I had a boyfriend, I'd had my fair share of sex.

I'd never really met a guy before that I was interested in in any way other than a sexual one - and personally I think, I'm young, I have desires, and there's no problem with me getting them met in a way I want to - without all the other stuff that can come attached to that. A lot of people will disagree, or think I'm a slut or something like that for it.

I know your situation is slightly different but here's my point.

A while ago I did meet a guy who I was interested in, in more than a sexual way. He's older than me, and was interested in my sexual past - in regards to how much experience I had because as you could imagine I was new to the whole dating and getting to know someone thing and it showed - so he assumed I would be with sex to.

When we got to talking and I explained my situation - that I'd never been in a relationship, but yes, I had had sex, he wasn't put off at all. He was a little surprised, but he didn't take it as negative, or look down on me for it. Some guys will care - but if it's a guy who's got to know you already, who knows what you're like and the person you are - then your sexual history isn't really going to matter that much. It's the present that's important to him.

[katiesmuff]

Just tell him that you think you are very special and that you have always thought that way and therefore you have waited until that very special person came along to have a relationship with. Let him know that like most all normal guys your age you have had and those sexual desires and just let a guy or two poke you only for self satisfaction. Nothing serious meant by it.

[Asker]

Haha thanks but wouldn't that make me sound slutty and not girlfriend material? also the sex wasn't for my desires, I did it because I liked the guy and thought sex would make him like me more & want to be with me. I know I am totally wrong with that though, I knew nothing about dating.

[katiesmuff]

Your previous sex history will mean very little to the right guy when he comes along!

[Cartiphilus]

There will some sanctimonious assholes out there who will surely condemn you for your past and may even call you a 'slut' if they knew what you just wrote. However, it's your life and only YOUR business. Any future boyfriend does not need to know about your sexual past. It's NONE of his business. You are NOT required to tell any future boyfriend of your sexual past. If some future prospect should ask you, tell him that's your personal business. If he can't respect that, then he's not worth your time. There will also be guys out there who will love you and not care about your past. As you wrote screen who you decide to sleep with and be sure it's not just your body he wants.

[taster]

Some guys (and I was one of those) did not really want a virgin. I thnk that Brandan pretty much said it all...I honestly don't understand why you are concerned...

[Asker]

because he might think I'm not girlfriend material. He might think I only want casual sex, because I've had sex before, but not with a boyfriend.

[taster]

ok I guess I can understand your concern now...forgive me but I am a lot older and this situation carries no significance whatsoever to an older person...so remember this: IF there might be even the slightest reason for concern, you will outgrow it shortly. Anyway you do not have to admit that it was not a boyfriend... I doubt if you will have any "issues" at all..if so, I PROMISE you that they are entirely temporary...have I made you feel better?

[itsweird182]

I'm 21 and would love to date a girl such as yourself. Girls like you are hard to find.

I've only dated one girl for about 3 months. She's the only girl I've ever "done anything" with, so I'm basically in your same situation.

[Asker]

aww that's sweet. Pitty you live on the other side of the world to me lol. But I'm sure a girl like me isn't that uncommon.

[Brandan_Cromartie]

I'm just going to answer the question in the headline: "No."

[PowerPlay7]

i doubt he will care.

[moviedude714]

well at least your not a virgin, I'm 23 and still a virgin, never had a girlfriend, your a girl, it's so much easier