Do people say I love you during sex by accident?

[Anonymous]

I had a friend with benefits he was one of my best friends now we don't really talk cause I had feelings for him, but I didn't see him as a long term partner and he got very cold and distance after sex, I don't know why he got so cold? It could either be cause he could tell I had feelings for him and didn't want to get mixed up in that, but I don't see that being a problem cause I told him I don't want a relationship. I guess the thing that really bothers me is that we were having sex and he told me during intercourse that he loved me, I figured that he said it by mistake and I didn't love him in that way, so I just ignored it and started frenching him do people often accidentally say I love you during intercourse or am I just rationalizing what he said?

[sailors_girl]

Yeah he probably slipped. Maybe he meant to say he loved how it felt. And now he may be feeling embarrassed because he said it, but ask him if he really meant what he said, or if he slipped. If not, carry on as usual. But if he does love you, and you don't feel the same don't make him fell stupid. Tell him that is really sweet and you appreciate it but at this time you don't feel the same.

[oh_henry_oh]

Look, a couple of things here. First, I assure you -- he didn't slip. It wasn't something he said that he didn't think about. Ladies I'm a guy, and although I've been faithful to my wife since the day we were married, I used to sleep with other wonderful women (besides my wife,) and I actually do know what I'm talking about. Sex -- raw sex -- does reorient a person. That's why it's hard, even impossible, sometimes, for someone who has been gay to change. More to say, I'm out of chars.

[sailors_girl]

You are probabaly right. I guess I have never had anyone that truly loved me. I can probably count on one hand how many times I have heard that from a guy in my entire life! LOL

[Asker]

well he was one of my best friends, so it wan't like it was raw sex it was very nice sex, I never asked him if he had feelings for me, I wouldn't know how I lack in communicatioin skills, but I do know that I loved him as a friend, very much.

[oh_henry_oh]

One more thing -- I should have said this the first time.

We men think with our d***s. When we're making love -- how can we not love the woman we're making love to.

For us, love and sex are very closely connected.

[sailors_girl]

What did you say? To a guy love and sex are closely connected? Seriously? I always thought that love and sex were on the opposite sides of the spectrum with guys. LOL Tell me more oh henry oh!

[oh_henry_oh]

No, he has the hots for you -- now he's dazed and confused.

And you have to decide what you want to do.

[Asker]

I would like to continue sleeping with him but we don't really talk any more because when I am friendly too him or reach out to him he is sort of non responsive.

[oh_henry_oh]

How much do you care for him? Is he just a sex partner?, or is he someone you care about a great deal? Because if the latter, you shouldn't let a lot of time go by without discussing this. I assume each of you is single and that their are no messy conflicts, etc... If he's nothing to you, that's one thing. If he's special, then go find him and talk to him about this. Alone. (That means some place you can give him those benefits you mentioned.)