Dating an inexperienced guy?

[danceallday]

I'm talking to a guy who, although older than me by 2 years, is VERY inexperienced. He had his first kiss at 17 and hasn't gotten a lot farther than that. He doesn't drink, smoke, or do drugs, nor has he ever. I'd also like to point out that he's not a virgin because he's waiting for marriage. He said he wasn't sure if he was ready in the past, but has decided that he is now, which I commend. I, on the other hand, am not exactly saintly. I've only had legit sex with 1 guy, but it happened quite often. I've also "fooled around" with ex-boyfriends in the past, too. I don't drink or smoke, either, but I have experimented in the past. And, occasionally, I will smoke pot with some friends at parties, but not often enough to be considered a stoner. I'm not a party animal, I'm just...much more experienced in every way. I really like him, but am terrified that his innocence will be the kiss of death. He told me that he's fine with being "taught" what to do sexually, but I just don't know how to do that without making us both uncomfortable. I'm not used to taking things incredibly slow, but I'm assuming I will have to with him? Also, I'm not used to having to be in control in bed. Can someone give me some advice on how to approach this?

[HodCrow]

"kiss of death" is an apt phrase here.

He may be the worlds nicest guy, but no woman is attracted to weakness. If he can't "be in control" of the bedroom then the relationship is going to fail in the long run. This is a classic example of why couples should never share details about their previous sex lives. Had these details never come up, it's likely your guy would have been more than ready and willing to rock your world when the moment was right.

Unfortunately, some words can't be unspoken and there is no cure for lack of confidence when it comes to sexual prowess. So long as he feels insecure, he will never be able to satisfy you in the bedroom. That being said, there are some things you can do if your serious about taking things forward.

Give him the experience he lacks. Don't explain it to him or try and put it into words, just do it. Start off by giving him a blow job and work up from there. Once he's got a couple of those under his belt his confidence level should be boosted enough to try almost anything. Also don't be so quick to assume you've learned it all, he might no a thing or two that will surprise you even if he hasn't done them.

Cut him loose. If you insist on trying then walk him into it. An hj and bj is enough to lead up to a quickie, and no guy can fail at that. Then see where the chips lye. Hope things work out, GL!

- Hod

[RedThread78]

Well I suppose you can sort of instruct him on what pleases you most. I'm sure after a while he will pretty much take over with your encouragement. Even if a guy is a virgin those primal instincts are there they just aren't honed to their full potential yet. It is sort of like a piece of dull metal that has yet to be forged and tempered into a sword. He will get there with your encouragement and experience early on and then his instincts will take over. Then again I'm a glass half full kind of guy!

[Penguins4Ever]

You should ask him what he likes and tell him what you like. If you aren't comfortable with discussing sex before you become most vulnerable with him then you should wait. Discussing sex before you have it is amazing and so pleasurable(and statistically more pleasurable). Good luck to new experiences!

[danceallday]

I have NO problem discussing sex. He, on the other hand, is not so open. He gets embarrassed easily by the subject. He also doesn't know what he likes...because he's never been there before. All he knows is what his friends have told him (and most likely, embellished) and what he's seen in p*rn. Lord knows that p*rn isn't a good source of knowledge, either.

[Penguins4Ever]

Tell him not to be embarrassed. Your confidence talking about it will make it easier for him to talk about it. And if he is still too nervous to talk about it he most likely isn't ready yet. I agree, p*rn is a terrible educational source. As for not knowing what he likes, talk during sex. That way you can both get what you want and find out what you both don't want.

[udolipixie]

Dump him

[4UtoSee]

I can't answer this for you but the question kind of speaks for it self. Since you are asking it you might want to ask yourself if your REALLY into him. If you are then go for it give him the time of his life (that he will NEVER forget), on the other hand are you really attracted to him? That really is a question only you can answer But if you have to ask it seems that you might not be,so as Udolipixie said "dump him" (in a nice way)

[danceallday]

Of course I am. That's an inane thing to ask when I have above stated, "I really like him." I like to think things through completely before diving into a relationship that's consequences may be detrimental to both he and I.

[4UtoSee]

if you like him then the only consequence would be that you give him the time that he'll NEVER forget wether or not you stay together.My first real love was much more exprianced then mr (mind you I was 17 she was 28) I was not a virgin at the tim BUT I'll never forget what she tought me in fact it made me a better man she'll Always hve a place in my heart. also the relationship lasted 4 years so it wasn''t a fling. and you can't tell the future by his experiance. good luck and give him memory's

[SoBored44]

I only been to a few parties and I have only gotten drunk once but I have never had a girlfriend nor I haven't had sex with any of the girls from my highschool.

[SoBored44]

It was back in highschool

[SoBored44]

I still do drink to this day