I'm a virgin... My boyfriend isn't... Is he cheating on me? Help!

[Anonymous]

I'm a virgin, my boyfriend isn't, but he respects me enough to wait. He never tries to push me into doing something I'm not comfortable with or simply don't want to do. That's doesn't mean we don't do anything.. I'm still a very sexual person (hyper-sexual even) and I like to have my fun. We've been intimate with each other once before. But now he barely kisses me. Barely holds me... Nothing! We don't really see each other very often. He lives an hour away from me and we both lead very busy lives between work and school and whatnot. We try to see each other at least once a week, but sometimes even that doesn't work. We go two weeks at a time without seeing each other. We talk every single day though. 24/7 texts and phone calls every night. My question is: Considering that he's not a virgin, and I'm not having sex with him.. Isn't he supposed to be horny or have urges or something? And since he doesn't...Is he cheating on me and letting his sexual energy out on someone else?

[Anonymous]

Hello, I'm a girl in my 20's. I'm not saying your boyfriend is cheating, but from personal, recent experience, I can tell you that it's always a possibility. I really thought my guy loved me and cared. He told me he loves my choice to remain a virgin until marriage and respects me (or so I thought). Five months ago, I suspected as you have that he was cheating because he withdrew from me, didn't give me eye contact anymore and couldn't even kiss me without thinking about it... it was with his ex (Who used to be my friend) but had no proof. It ate away at me and I felt guilty. I confronted him and he denied it. He was also a virgin until he lost his virginity to his ex 5 months ago (I was basically bombarded with proof), and continued to make unobliged sexual advances toward her up until a month ago when they tried to drop it (Again, I have proof). I invested so much love into the relationship and could never brace myself for how badly he broke my heart. He told me he had the opportunity and it was a moment of weakness, but he would rather have sex with someone else than take away my virginity because he "respects" me. We'd been together for 4 years and seven months and he seemed like the best boyfriend one could ask for. I'm not saying your boyfriend cheating, but if your intuition is telling you otherwise, don't be quick to deny yourself either. I have forgiven him, and because of what feels like sincere remorse and repentance, I have taken him back. Maybe foolishly, but I have, we'll see... though my advice stands. Don't ignore your intuition and if you have proof, confront him with it or just leave. If you're wrong then continue to love one another...

[Anonymous]

I'd say he's just less horny/physical than most guys. Or, because he doesn't want to pressure you, he thinks it's good to wait for YOU to initiate everything.

You could ask him. Just like, "Hey, I've noticed you aren't as affectionate as you used to be... is something wrong? Or am I just overanalyzing this?"

[Asker]

That's true. but the thing is I did try initiating things. Like the last time I was with him alone we were leaving so he simply lipkissed me. I went in for more (tongue) which he went with for a bit, but then pulled back and said "I'm seeing you tomorrow"! I think I am just over analyzing this.. We're both so stressed. I usually release stress by being physical because I'm one of those girls who keep all feelings inside. He's more of a talker.

[Opinion Owner]

Ah, yeah. But this situation is making you even more stressed. I think it would do a lot of good to just talk to him about it. It may be hard to just bring it up, but it's better than constantly wondering what he's thinking.

[Asker]

true. thanks :)