My sister wants to have a child with my husband?

[Anonymous]

My sister lost the love of her life while he was deployed with the military about a year ago. We've always been close, and my husband and I have been very supportive of her. I've spent most of the last 12 hours thinking, so I appologize if I start to ramble. I'm tired. Last night she asked something so out-of-place that I couldn't even answer her at the time. She asked if she could "borrow" my husband to help her have a child. She doesn't want a new man in her life yet, but she does want a baby, and our two are perfect. One night stands are definitely out of the question because of the creep factor and disease risks, and anonymous donors just seem wrong. I can't allow them to have sex, even though she is my sister, and even if I did, my husband wouldn't do it.. IUI or ICI should be okay, but I'm still uneasy about the idea of another woman carrying his child.

[nakita]

I think that it wouldn be a good idea considering its your sister. She may want to have a child but what if after your husband sperm was injected and she found another man who she might fall for just beyond that. Its a major ask where you are the only one who can determine the right and wrong. You might want to help your sister but sharing sperm with her is a little extreme isn't it? if I was in the situation and my sister ask me of such a task id have to refuse because, it would be my husband and if I were to have children, they would grow up with there half brothers or sisters also being cousins. it would be hard for them to grow up with as well as you look at your sisters children thinking they should be yours, because he is YOUR husband.

[Asker]

Those are all things I've been thinking about all night. I'm not sure "considering its your sister" is a good point, though. I'd be less inclined to approve if she was just a friend.

[nakita]

Its a hard decision, and its totally up too you. Just think do you want your sister or anyone carrying your husbands children but you?

[Anonymous]

um I'd say no she can find another man or go to a sperm bank. it was selfish of her to ask imo. she sounds like she's still grieving and not thinking clearly and you sound alittle co dependent like if you don't agree she's fragile and won't be able to handle it. Tell her you love her and you will do anything to support her but that giving her your husband's child is too much to ask. Because imo I think it is...

[timetowaste]

She's in a tough situation, but it is a little out of line, and over stepping some boundaries to ask you to let her ... use your husbands sperm. I wouldn't do it. Letting my husband give his sperm to my sister to carry his child, all while having to watch it grow up.. knowing that is your husbands biological child seems more wrong to me than an anonymous donor.

[Joey_Wheeler]

Yikes! Deep thoughts expressed clearly on the internet. I never thought I'd see the day. Sounds to me like your sister didn't think this through as much as you did. Did you talk to your husband about it yet? If you haven't, don't. At least not until you're sure you'd be OK with it. Nakita had a good point about it being your sister. There could be some redneck teasing later in life if their have siblings and cousins were the same people. I say no.

[Red_Arrow]

"She doesn't want a new man in her life yet..." She is still suffering grief from her loss. Not a good time to make a decision to have a child (in any way). She needs time to recover and move on. Right now it sounds like she wants a baby to give her a reason to withdraw more from moving on. This would be bad for her and bad for the child.

[Hunterguy1]

that is a tough subject. but then again it shows that she admires you an your husband.