What is it that so many men have penis size anxiety?

[irykiryk]

I've seen a documentary about a guy who had a 7" and he had a surgery to make it bigger even though his wife liked it the way it was. To think that the size I have to some men seems small or average (somehow being average is a bad thing), is completely out of this world. This site has really opened me up to the reality that so many men feel insecure about their penis size. I've seen a few girls saying they prefer the bigger sizes and all that but it didn't get to me that much. So what do you think causes men to have these insecurities? To the women, do you think you have ever caused a guy insecurities, with what you said about his penis or penises in general, without bad intentions?

[sa230e]

I personally believe (and I speak from experience here) that it's a symptom of depression in men. For a lot of guys, when they get depressed they fall into negative thought patterns and become convinced that they're undesirable. They become ruminate on the idea that, of the characteristics that make a man desirable to women, they have little or none. This idea becomes an obsession. They're convinced that they were screwed over by the genetic lottery, and so are born to lose. In that frame of mind you feel as though you were born inferior, doomed to want the same women that any red blooded men want and yet are not entitled to them due to their perceived unattractiveness.

I think penis size anxiety is just another manifestation of the above concept. It becomes just another justification of their negative belief system. The way a depressed man views himself he projects onto his penis. He feels that he was doomed to have a small penis and consequently any potential lover will find sex with them to be unfulfilling.

As you've probably noticed on this site, negative beliefs are hard for a depressed man to let go of. There's something oddly soothing about self-pity and these negative thoughts, though painful and unjustified, serve as mechanism to console oneself. This explains why, when presented with evidence to the contrary, the depressed man will disregard it and deny it's validity.

[mirinme101]

nothing to do with that, all girls just prefer above average

[EngineeringStudent]

The p*rn industry.

[irykiryk]

I know you're a black guy. Are black guys really bigger than average, or is that just because the black guys with smaller d***s hide themselves or something.

[EngineeringStudent]

Black guys are usually average just like everyone else. I honestly don't know where the stereotype originated, but the p*rn industry does it's fair share of spreading the rumors.

[udolipixie]

"What is it that so many men have penis size anxiety?"

Lots of guys see their d*ck as the symbol of their manliness

"To think that the size I have to some men seems small or average (somehow being average is a bad thing),"

Average doesn't mean it's not small just that it's most common. Small is dependent on the person viewing it.

Just like average weight in America doesn't mean healthy but obese/overweight.

"So what do you think causes men to have these insecurities?"

taking others' opinions to heart causing a lack of confidence or disliking their penis & wanting to be bigger.

To the women, do you think you have ever caused a guy insecurities, with what you said about his penis or penises in general, without bad intentions?

No no one causes insecurity but the insecure person.

People can contribute to it not cause it.

If you don't prefer what a guy/girl has it may contribute to insecurity based on how that guy/girl takes your opinion.

Just like saying no fat chicks, short guys, fat guys, ugly guys/girls contributes not cause insecurity.

[Anonymous]

I'm not sure. I know some women say they prefer bigger penises, but plenty couldn't care less about it. Everyone has insecurities, but guys tend to get especially (and needlessly) riled up over penis size. It makes me sad because I know what it's like to feel insecure and I don't want men to have to feel that way, especially when it's something that they can't change, and especially most of the time there's no reason for them to worry.

[mirinme101]

read some answers here you'll see why guys are insecure

[Opinion Owner]

Half the poeple who make a big deal over penis size are actually guys. I suppose they are bigger and want to feel good about themselves because of it, so they put down guys who are smaller and plant seeds of insecurity in their minds. I see more girls saying that penis size isn't a big deal than I do girls saying it is.

[mirinme101]

not really girls are just better at hiding it and lying

[Opinion Owner]

I see guys on here telling each other they're pathetic and hopeless because their penis is smaller. Why would a guy be so mean if he knew how it felt to feel insecure, except for the reason I mentioned? And you can't assume that all girls who say they don't care are lying.

[mirinme101]

average with skills above average with skills %100 of girls would pick above average so why should the average guy even try?

[Opinion Owner]

If you can even ask that, you're clearly above average.

[Opinion Owner]

Look. It's true that many girls like large penises. I don't attempt to deny it, I see plenty of girls say that they do. But many are more than content with average (myself included). It makes no sense for you to claim that "all" girls prefer above average penises when you have absolutely no proof of that. You can't go around accusing people of lying out of superstition. You must take their word unless given reason not to. And every woman has a different body and a different mentality, so

[Opinion Owner]

just because some girls prefer above average, that isn't proof that ALL girls do. Do all guys have exactly the same preferences about female bodies? I may not be a guy, but I'm pretty sure there's at least a BIT of variation there. So why shouldn't it be the same with women? Besides, the length of the average vagina is actually the same as the length of the average penis. I think a lot of the time when a girl says that her ideal penis is really long, it's purely superficial and has nothing to

[Opinion Owner]

do with actual pleasure. It's physically impossible to fit a nine inch penis into a six inch vagina. Yes, they stretch a little, but not that much- and most of the flexibility is width wise, not in length.

[mirinme101]

cut the crap, all girls prefer above average because there's more to work with guys have different taste in women because none of the women's body parts play a role in sex or pleasure it's all aesthetics

[Opinion Owner]

Aesthetics actually do play a role in sex and pleasure, especially for guys. Besides, my point was only that men do have PREFERENCES about women's bodies, and that those PREFERENCES can vary from man to man. Now please, PLEASE, stop telling me what I want. It's completely out of order. My boyfriend is average sized and I'm glad he's not bigger, because as it is he has to be careful not to hurt me. If he were bigger, we would only have to be even more careful, and that would be a pain for us both.

[Opinion Owner]

Besides, girls can still be satisfied by a penis that isn't their total perfect dream fantasy penis. Just because a girl prefers a certain size doesn't mean that she'll break up with any guy who doesn't have exactly the right penis. You can argue that penises are different from breasts because penises have more to do with actual sex, but that's just another excuse to put more pressure on the penis size issue. It's simply another superficial thing that most decent people overlook in favor of

[Opinion Owner]

other things like personality etc.

[mirinme101]

girls don't overlook it if penis size is not an issue then why do so many girls gossip with their friends about who's biggest and giggle about it?

[Opinion Owner]

Some girls do, some girls don't. But again, having an ideal doesn't mean nothing less can satisfy you.

[Opinion Owner]

I don't deny that some girls care about penis size. But every girl cares about it a different amount. It would be very decent of you to stop generalizing and acknowledge the fact that different girls have different preferences and different needs.

[mirinme101]

girls should just specify that they prefer bigger so average guys can avoid them

[Opinion Owner]

Yeah, we should all wear team colors, ha. Sorry, but not knowing all of a person's preferences before getting involved with them is just part of life. Acquaint yourself. Girls also don't know what guys will think of our labia, our nipples, our down there grooming. It may be more just visual, but it can still create plenty of problems. It's something people just have to cope with.

[mirinme101]

don't compare penis size to that, they are not the same girls are just the shallower sex even though they're really shallow about only one thing (penis)

[Opinion Owner]

Walk two moons...

[sinful1620]

It's our culture's judge of a man's worth. Either get a porche and a 6-figure-income job, or have a 12" monster penis, or you're worthless as a male.

[KERMlT]

Some women get unnecessary surgery because they have insecurities too. Like vaginal lip reduction?

But who really wants to be 'average' anyway?

[Shaun]

Because men hear women talk.

[irykiryk]

Which is a really stupid thing to do. Anybody that's been into these really girlie talks knows they are somewhat pathetic.

[Shaun]

What do you mean? Hearing women talk is a stupid thing to do?

[irykiryk]

It's like listening to static on the radio... Pointless.

[StevieGuitar]

It isn't as simple as size. That's why there are so many questions about it on here.

I'll explain why I think so.

I have a friend who has a penis which is 10 inches long when erect, no idea of girth but thick.

How do I know this? Because he goes on about it all the time, remarking that he's sure he has the biggest one in the neighbourhood and that it dwarfs my puny effort. He's only seen mine when I have a pee. None of my girlfriends have ever mentioned it was undersized, it just wasn't an issue.

Not only that, he often accidentally/deliberately, as he's showing an innocuous pic on his phone to various people, males and females, stops on a pic of his erect member, with a ruler next to it displaying its length.

Now you'd think if he was so well hung he'd sit quietly smug, but he doesn't, so it's not as straightforward as it might appear.

Any ideas?

[Anonymous]

Bigger feels better according to many girls. Average just gets the job done but there is nothing special or unique about it.

[Anonymous]

They know that most of their GFs have had bigger and would never admit to them that they felt better. Women lie and men know it and therefore they can't trust what a women says about this issue. When women say size isn't that important they have zero credibility with men.

Most men also suck in bed and they are looking for reasons they suck. The easiest one to target is penis size.

Finally, average is plenty sufficient for most women although most won't come from penetration unless the guy is big enough to really stimulate her vagina with just his d***. This usually takes a big d*** to do it and average often isn't big enough. I'm talking long and thick here as both increase the stimulation of the vagina and lackign one or the other significantly reduces vaginal sensation during intercourse.

[Anonymous]

women always gossip about how bigger is better and how this guy was so big etc.

[Anonymous]

Everyone has insecurities about their body. Men tend to focus on their penis size which I find very amusing since it's something that's next to impossible to change (very much).

Women have just as many, if not more, insecurities about their bodies.