My online boyfriend wants to have cyber sex, is it okay to do it?

[Anonymous]

I have been dating this guy online for almost a year now, it's a long distance relationship kinda thing. Well he lives to another country and we have a lot of time difference but we try to reach out. we always chat online even he's at work we do webcams and skype, and also after his work he'll hop online to still talk to me. many times I just go Invisible on yahoo so he can't see me but I just want to see if he'll come on line to check on me. He does it most of the time he told me that he always check if I'm on but when he see that I'm not he goes off right away. He's nice, wacky, sweet and cool guy and good looking too but the the thing is he wants us to have cybersex, although I've done it twice for him but not all the way I did it without seeing my face and he did it too, sometimes showing his face, I'm scared that maybe he plans to record me while doing it or take screen caps of me. but after doing it he made me feel comfortable to not feel nervous or something, that he likes me for what I am which I really appreciate, and said that it's the only way that we can be intimate with each other since we can't lay a finger on each other. we just don't talk online cause we want to get naked we also have this good convo or just messing around with each other share music and food etc. I remember he told me that he treat me as his far away girlfriend that soon he'll have :) but it really confuses me(cybersex). I want to please him actually cause I really like him I know he likes me too and I want to keep hold of him cause I know we will see each other I just don't know when but I plan to go to his country. I'm sorry if this is so long but my question is: if he does the same thing that his asking me to do do you think it's alright for me to do it too? (cybersex) and does it look like he cares for me or he just want some play time and he is bored? any answers would be appreciated. thanks so much guys God bless

[Anonymous]

I really really don't think you should do this especially if you are going to meet him someday and visit him...would he expect real sex then when you went to visit? If that is the case would you be willing to do that? (just something to think about). And there is so much about this guy you don't even know, I mean yea you have seen him on cam but you don't know his true history or anything. But I can relate I've gone through the same thing as you and I kinda gave in but not all the way at first and now I refuse to do cam stuff because you never know that may come back to haunt you just look at all the sex tapes and nude pics that have been leaked of celebs. Bottom line I think you should really think this through before you do this because the decisions you make now could come out 5, 10 or so years later

[Asker]

thanks for answering my question. I know exactly what you mean that's why I'm scared and doubtful. but I i did it twice already although not all the way, still it's me that got naked. :(( I want to tell him no but how will I tell him? I mean I don't want him to think that I'm kinda accusing him that he recorded or tend to record it. he's been nice to me and he didn't really force me to do it. I mean I did it already so how can I tell him that I changed my mind?

[Asker]

just answer your question: I would be willing but I think I have to know him personally.

[Opinion Owner]

Just say that you have thought about it and changed your mind, your entitled to that. Say you aren't comfortable with going any further than you have or doing it anymore at all. If he likes you he will understand and if he ends up not talking to you anymore then you will see he just wanted to have some fun that's all.

[Longshot]

You are taking a risk -- photos and recordings live forever. If you each go your separte ways one day, he will have them and there won't be anything you can do about it.

[Asker]

i appreciate your answer, you're a guy so how will you take it if you're him (my online bf) that after "me" doing it twice all of sudden I just said no and changed my mind I mean we actually had a meeting on cam after work but I didn't go on line cause I'm scared and doubtful. would you feel that I accuse or I see you as a bad person that will do such thing? thanks again

[Longshot]

As your boyfriend I wouldn't like it but if you explained to me that you were uncomfortable showing your face because you never know who is watching I might understand.

[SnackG]

Go for it.