Threesomes are not enough?

[Anonymous]

I love my boyfriend and I do believe that he loves me. I also believe that it's in a man's nature (some women I suppose too) to "spread his seed" and that to the extent people commit, it can be because of the society we're in vs. instinctual. I appreciate that my boyfriend is one of these men. BUT, he is OBSESSED with threesomes. I've had them with him before and am open to them in the future, but I need boundaries. we had a girlfriend for a few months and it was too hard on me - I got too insecure and jealous because it was a relationship with this other girl, not just sex. and I explained this to him. but he just won't let it go because he's hell bent on capturing that feeling again. I try to explain to him that in the real world, it's gonna be really really hard to get two girls that are OK with that set-up long-term. he wants to have girlfriends with me - serial long-ish term for at least some months and says that if I ever became uncomfortable he can control his feelings and we'd move on. It makes me incredibly uncomfortable that he wants to develop feelings and a relationship with other women, with me there. Why isn't a good time, maybe even 2 or 3 times, with one girl enough? Are you guys encountering chicks like me all the time or something? girlfriend material who's down for threesome fun? I feel under-appreciated - I think being open to threesomes is a big deal and I feel that I'm not being appreciated enough for it. are we a dime a dozen that a threesome is no longer enough and you need multiple girlfriends together too? I want to tell him he's delusional but maybe I'm the one stuck in the dark ages.

[MrOracle]

First, you are much more understanding and flexible than the average woman, and for that, you should be appreciated. And I think that your Boyfriend is taking advantage of that.

It is *exceedingly* rare to find women who can live long-term and "share" their man the way he wants you to, especially long-term.

Using an example everyone will know, look at Hugh Heffner of Playboy, and let's pretend it's the 70's, when he was much younger and at the peak of his empire. He had hot young girls, most of whom had never been around anyone wealthy and powerful and couldn't help but be impressed with him and his lifestyle. And all of those girls knew and understood going in that he wasn't living a monogamous lifestyle.

Yet, even then, while Hefner had lots of girlfriends, he didn't have very many that stayed very long, because very few could handle the feelings of jealousy that the situation was bound to bring on. And if Hef couldn't pull it off, with everything he had going for him, who could?

Threesomes are fun, but they're really for single people. Very, very few committed relationships survive them, and even fewer survive them when someone develops feelings for the "third".

I think your Boyfriend is trying to live out his ultimate fantasy, and has found someone (you) who has let him do it to a large degree, but he wants to keep pushing to try to keep it going forever. And now he is to the point where he no longer cares about how you feel about it, and that's where he has crossed the line.

I think you've more than lived up to your end of the bargain, and have been very open-minded and accomidating, but that's a two-way street, and he's no longer doing his part.

You don't have anything to feel bad about or appologize for.

[Othisisme]

No I 100% agree with you. Are u trying to spice up the marriage or start up a sister wives compound lol.. U Hun are a fine a dozen and he should feel so damn lucky to have you and have that open threesome relationship.. If he's gunna be a dick and not respect your wishes when you have been granting his this whole time then I would say call it quits with the extra girls and focus on u two and take electronics out of it and do more pretend role play that there is someone else there with you sliding there hand up your leg ;). Yeah that stuff may help but u seem really smart and most likely thought of this already :)

[Anonymous]

Sounds like he just loves the attention too much and cares more about sex than your feelings :/ He obviously doesn't appreciate you and how much you've done to make him happy, cause if I ever had a boyfriend that wanted us as a couple to have a realtionship with another women, I'd tear his bloody arms off

[eurochick]

I have had a number of 3 somes with my boyfriend and if we do a FFM we then do a FMM. So I think this rule helps and lot and if a guy wants a FFM he must be open to a FMM too. For us 3 somes are a sexual experience and I myself never have feelings for the other person and I don't think he does either.

[Pegases]

People are going to like what they like. There isn't always an explanation, but I'm willing to bet your initial reasoning is the reason he wants a threesome of that extent. What you do with this is your choice, but you have to be willing to acknowledge the things that people want can't always be taken personally.

[sikoo31]

ok I know what you need to do to make him understand.

put him in your shoes; tell him you want to have another boyfriend too, if he wants 2 girls, fine, you should be able to have 2 guys as well.

then we'll see his reaction.

[Anonymous]

Maybe you guys should try swinging.

[Anonymous]

this is not OK and I can't believe you think his requests are normal

[Anonymous]

What the F are you talking about?

Stuck in the dark ages? NO

Your stuck in a deep, dark, pervy well and have not seen any light ever..

Your stating in your question that NOBODY would be OK with this and then asking who would be

Nobody

You are in a cancerous "ship", I say ship for it is not a friendship or a relationship...maybe more of a hardship or a ship that just sinks lower and lower into a never ending depth