Why can guys have sex with whoever they want?

how come guys can have sex with as many girls as they want and it's "cool" but when a girl does theyre considered a whore? or even if a girl just does stuff besides sex with a guy she's a whore but the guy isnt. this has always pissed me off.
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Most Helpful Guys

  • I think it depends on who you consider the authority is in deciding what is "cool" and who is a "whore." No single group has a monopoly on the moral compass. Not society, your peers, your parents, or religion (if you have one).

    Long Answer:

    I think That-Guy is right in that women tend to be the choosers in sexual situations. This might lead to why women suffer a greater stigma when it comes to sexual promiscuity. Women tend to be attracted to so called Alpha-males. One characteristic of an Alpha-male is that he usually has the choice to be with as many girls as he care to. By doing this, he can constantly assert his position, and reinforce he is an Alpha-male and hence, more desirable than other males. There is less stigma attached to this and it seems in many cases this is encouraged.

    Women on the other hand tend to have the option to be with as many sexual partners as they desire. Whether or not this is true seems to be largely irrelevant, as society seems to have already decided. Because it is assumed that they are the gate keepers in most sexual situations, if they are indiscriminate about who they let through that gate- they are often held to a separate standard.

    Personally, I think there is a shift in society about how a woman's sexuality is perceived. As genders move more toward equality in all facets of life, you will find that the stigma attached to female promiscuity will lessen. If you look at Madonna or Sex in the City, the changing views in society become more evident.

    Short Answer:

    Your peers are sexually immature and lack the understandings of sexual experiences. They are probably just repeating what their parents or religion says because of this inexperience and lack of personal thought. Alternatively, they might just be jealous the others their age are starting to have their first sexual experiences and feel left out.

    Hope that helps.

    • Thankyou :) it actually did help alot

  • Time to play devils advocate:

    Guy's social role is to be the pursuer and girls to be the choosers. Since having sex with as many fine looking females is sociably acceptable for men, we are always actively trying "get some."

    While women social roles are to ration out who they will have sex with (at least that's the idea women try to portray in order to avoid being deemed easy or slutty) have the "chooser" role. Women become the flower and men are the bees trying to pollinate.

    If women wanted to have equality in sexual acceptance, then she will also give up some of her ability to choose. Think about it, if society starts shifting towards acceptance of girls and their sexual numbers. Guys will have more choices as more girls will shamelessly sleep with him.

    A guy could complain, "why do I have to actively go out and pursue girls, why can't I just sit here and let women compete for me?"

    There always a balance and I don't think it's un-fair at all.

    *uhhh

    • Haha well I guess I never really looked at it that way, thanks.

Most Helpful Girls

  • no guys, not all guys can have sex with whoever they want. they will eventually earn the title of the grossest motherf***ing manwhore. seriously, I dont' want to have anything to do with guys like that and that's just my opinion. everyone's going to have their own opinion. I respect that but I also have respect for myself. it's not that I wouldnt' date a guy who has a lot of experience but if he's gross and sleeps around with anythign taht walks, that is disrespect to me so I wouldn't go near a guy like that...

  • That's just the way society looks at it. Men can be whores too, that is not just a female trait.

    • True. more people need to see that though! especially guys.

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • It should piss you off. Don't believe it, it's all crap.

    • Lol thanks. I don't.

  • just the way society is.i don't agree with it and it pisses me off.

  • The situation isn't quite as you say, but there are many long traditions and social rules that formed the attitudes you've described, so you're right to be pissed off. The tide is turning, but slowly.

    Personally, I admire women who are sexually assertive, and can rise above the negative attitudes and sexist values that do still exist. I also find such women a turn on.

    It is totally wrong to call sexually assertive women "whores". A whore just uses sex to get money. Sexually assertive women want enrichening life experiences!

    • I agree completely, too bad more guys don't look at it that way though!

    • "sexually assertice women want enrichening life experiences". That is so true!!! I don't understand why that doesn't make sense to most other people.

  • Believe me, it hurts guys JUST as much as it hurts girls.

    For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction.

    And unless a guy is gay, he is undoubtedly affected by the female aversion to being called a "whore" by conservative society.

    • Well I guess I didn't know that guys are actually affected by it, the ones I know usualy would just laugh if they were called out for it but then again all the guys I know are assholes lol.

    • Even if a guy doesn't mind being called out on his promiscuity, for every girl he doesn't get to hook up with, there's a girl worried about appearing too promiscuous. So even for guys that don't care about how they appear, the fact that women DO is hurting their bottom line.

  • I agree with you and don't have that philosphy myself. I actually think that it is cool if a girl does this as long as he is not a complete stranger.

    • Haha well that's good.

    • For the record - I am serious and not just trying to patronize you.

  • guys can be whores to, ABSOLUTELY! Inmy opinion when it comes to guys a manwhore is someone who sleeps with anyone just to get off. a Stud on the other hand is succesfull with women but is choosy.ie brad pitt, etc

  • i guess its just

    a way of degrading(not sure if I really wanna use that word)

    women.

    just like there's women

    out there that have

    the same job as a man

    but still manages to

    earn less.

    • Yeah I get what you mean. I just think its kind of stupid how you hear guys calling girls whore and sluts all the time and it actually hurts them, but you very rarely hear a girl calling a guy anything for sleeping with a bunch of girls and if she did he probably wouldn't get offended.

  • that's something that girls have made up because there're more controversial than boys.i mean I don't even care if somebody has had sex with a lot of girls,but my girlfriend most times criticizes a girl that has had sex with a lot of guys as a whore.

    • Hmm.. well I guess it's just that you don't hear as many guys getting put down for having sex with a lot of girls, its usualy the other way around. but that's good that your girlfriend says that somebody needs to lol

  • I agree with you. At first I used to feel the same way but after having a lot of girl friends I kind of understand why. You see guys does not care about this it just becomes a problem when women began to lie about it. From what I have heard and personally experience, a lot of girls does have sex and tell lies that they are still a virgin this is when men draws the line and start treating you differently and calling you names. For example, I have had friends that were strippers and they told me after a while what they does for a living but hide it at first I thought it was cool and was ok with it. on the other hand I've had friend that was slut and lied to me that they were virgins this is not cool. if you have a boyfriend just say so, if you have done it just say so, a guy will respect you more and stop calling you names. It all depend on how you sell yourself to others.

  • I don't blame you for being pissed off by what you said. Guys that have sex with as many girls as they want are definitely not "cool" and where do you hear that? I've had many girls refer to those kind of guys as*holes, jerks, dogs, pigs plus others. I never have approved of guys that try to sleep with every girl no matter what it takes. like flattery. lying, and the I love you shit. They eventually get what's coming to them so don't worry, They definitely aren't always considered "cool". I know some girls that have been deeply hurt by this. One nice girl I know that hasn't put out recently had an old friend get her cell # and texted her, and after some small talk asked her for email. She asked why he wanted to know and he was like, "I just want to send you something" That something was 3 naked pics of his di*k with no message. What do you call a guy like that?.

    • I just hear guys bragging about who they sleep with and if a girl were to do that she would defenantly get called a slut usualy. but I've had pretty much the same thing happen to me as that girl, like guys just sending me naked pics who I don't even know, gross. that's good though that you don't agree with that :)