Have you ever been falsely accused of sexual assault or sexual harassment?

[sinful1620]

This question is mostly for the guys, but for the girls as well. I've been falsely accused of both: When I was in middle school, I was a TA and refused to do a girl's project for her, so she told the principal I demanded she give me a blowjob for my *assistance* to get revenge on me. When I was away at college, I was drunk at a frat party, a girl came onto me, and we had sex. A mutual friend told me later that her sorority sisters were teasing her about sleeping with me, so she said I raped her so they'd stop teasing her. So yeah. I'm curious how common crap like this is. So have you ever been falsely accused of sexual assault or sexual harassment?

[Jawless]

Meh. I don't know if it counts, but I've had a few events relating to sexual 'annoyances' in the past, though none went to court or anything like that.

First was when I was leaning on a desk with my hands behind me for support, and didn't realize there was a girl from my class behind me - I eventually shifted position to learn further back, and pushed one of my hands out so the fingers went under her ass slightly. She acted in the most ridiculous way ever, overly emotional by cringing back, making a disgusted face and going ewww. It annoyed me because, seriously, anyone stuck up enough to assume an accident was planned out to grope them doesn't really deserve to be taken seriously. It was, though, and I had to endure a talk from the actual head of my year at the time, and the ridicule of the students for a few weeks. Yay.

I remember when I had to be looked after by a friend of my parents, who brought her kids to my place as well, once when I had to go toilet. It was a hot day, and I was sat on the toilet with my legs spread, to cool down - ehh, long story short, the eldest kid, also female, decided to be 'rude and cheeky' and open the door on pupose, but when she saw the position I was in, figured I was actively flashing her. She told her Mum, her Mum told my parents, parents then decide to give you a talk. It's annoying how people can act like retards and also exaggerate beyond belief.

Final one I remember was me just pottering about in class at school, and I was tapping/shaking my feet as I did so, just to keep myself amused or something. I didn't even know I did it, but aparently I rubbed my foot up some girls leg on the opposite side of the table. She asked me loudly why 'my foot just ran up and down her leg' and got the attention of nearby people. By the end of the day, she'd told her circle of friends who then go and tell two friends, so on and so forth, and I become a pervert who attempted to play footsie - and aparently, put my foot on her crotch. Liars suck.

So, I guess most of that was a childs opinion of sexual assault, so I'll vote A. All of hose occured betweem the age of 8-14 anyway, so yeah.

[Anonymous]

basicly I once made the mistake of having a one night stand with a girl I didn't fancy but wel I wasn't exactly sober so she got what she wanted and was like all happy and bragging about it for a few days but when I made it clear it was a mistake she kinda spread rumours I got her drunk by giving her long island ice teas witch wasn't true and took advantage of the fact she was drunk etc ... really upset me and cost me a several friends because they believed her...

I think its the worst thing that has happened to me.

Sowwy for the anonymous thing but this thing is my biggest mistake and I'm embarrased about it.

[sinful1620]

it's okay, man... you didn't do anything wrong

[Opinion Owner]

yeah I know I just don't feel comfy with the whole thing :) and I'm kinda new so I'm being a tad cautious

[Anonymous]

some kid in middle school said I kicked him the nuts so I got detention

people lie about a lot of things. unfortunately, sexual assault and rape happen so frequently to the point that it isn't hard to imagine someone being attacked that way. there should always be investigation into these cases though, and that's all that matters. men and women will always lie about things to benefit themselves. what matters is how efficient we are in our ability to find the truth to spare victims of falsehoods, as well as our ability to act in suitable time to bring justice to the many, many women who do experience these things. I think the problem is when there's a situation where there can't be much evidence because there are cases like that. I think people just have to decide who to protect in cases where the evidence is shaky. do you protect the man who may have been innocent or do you protect the woman who may have been raped, assaulted, etc. its tricky.

[Shaun]

Innocent until proven guilty is the standard of justice we claim to adhere to in America.

[Opinion Owner]

True, but its not that simple if you know anything about law.

[sinful1620]

yes... if you know anything about law, men accused of crimes by women are guilty until proven innocent, and only VERY rarely are women who file false reports ever prosecuted for it

[Shaun]

Yes, it is that simple.

[Opinion Owner]

Sure. Tell yourself whatever you need to.

[sinful1620]

Two guys here are telling you that they've directly experienced that it's true. You have ZERO experience knowing what it's like to be a guy in our culture. Believe what you want, but don't get all bitchy when someone who knows far more what they're talking about tells you you're wrong.

[udolipixie]

You have zero experience what it's like to be a woman or prosecuting someone for rape. Believe what you want.

[sinful1620]

Neither do you. All you have are the overblown feminist statistics who make up bullsh*t because people believe them when they claim 1/3 of college girls get raped.

[Opinion Owner]

ah so the statistics on rape are "feminist bullsh*t"? wow. lol I love when men try to demonize feminists and downplay rape stats all in one comment. it's both sad and hilarious at the same time. Smh.

[udolipixie]

@QA Feminist stats? Try reports on behavior of people judging the trial and male behavior on sex.

[Opinion Owner]

Woah. Lets back up to QA first comment to me. 1. Telling me that WHAT is true? You being a man in our culture has absolutely nothing to do with a comment like "we believe in innocence until proven guilty in America". being a man in our culture doesn't make you a genius on the mechanics and structure of our legal system. so exactly what the f*** are you talking about? lol 2. You haven't proven that you know anything. You claiming that you know more isn't going to make anyone believe you.

[sinful1620]

Fine. If you're not going to listen to personal experience. link

[Opinion Owner]

darling, what exactly are you trying to say? You sound very irrational. First you claim shaun agrees with you here when you turn around and say the opposite of what he says.Then you call me bitchy for whatever reason. Then, you actually spit on the experiences of women all over the nation by dwindling rape stats down to "feminist bullsh*t."Then you're a genius. Now, you're directing me to someone's blog because your personal experience doesn't say...what exactly? You're all over the f***ing place.

[sinful1620]

I'm telling you that men get treated unfairly by the legal system in America because we don't have equal legal rights. And yes, to claim that 1 in 3 women gets raped is bullsh*t. The statistics they use are grossly exaggerated, and saying every sorority girl that whiffs a shot and then has sex "got raped" is what's truly spitting on the few girls who are truly taken advantage of.

[Opinion Owner]

Well, as a feminist and a woman, I find you kind of disgusting for your attitude toward the sh*t many women have to go through, but I'll humor you. What basis do you have for believing that the rape stats are "bullsh*t"? And how on earth are men not being treated equally and in what cases?

[sinful1620]

Because I've looked into them? They count every woman who's ever regretted a sexual encounter for any reason as "rape", and then they generally say that for every 1 "rape", there are 4 or 5 that happened but didn't get reported. I find feminists that blindly believe statistics without looking into them disgusting.

[Opinion Owner]

I don't know what school you went to, but "I've looked into them" isn't a strong defense of your argument. In fact, I'm pretty sure that = sh*tty defense based on no actual evidence or fact to contradict your opposition. That could just be my crazy upbringing though, Idk.

[Opinion Owner]

I just glanced at the blog post you linked. That's nothing we haven't heard before, and I didn't see anything there that related to rape. Maybe I missed it in the article? Don't think I did though. So is this your opportunity to flaunt the huge chip on your shoulder and attack feminists and NOT actually a question about experiences with being accused of sexual crimes? Because that's what I'm getting...

[Opinion Owner]

2. Just curious. Did you even read the entire article? It doesn?t bash feminists. Quite the opposite, which kind of makes you look stupid for posting it as a defense for your anti-feminist lash out. Maybe you weren't trying to defend your position and just felt like posting sh*t. That's cool too. Just saying, though it actually says sexism ("sexist paternalism") toward women is responsible for the disparity in gender among prison sentences.

[Opinion Owner]

It relates the treatment of women and them being seen as less responsible for consequences and mentions that "women are seen less as full adults." Then goes on to say that the disparity isn?t as present when there are more female judges in the district, and that male judges with the sexist mentality are primarily responsible for giving lighter sentences to women.

[Opinion Owner]

And there isn?t an issue of men having fewer "equal rights" as you suggest, but the post points that it?s a matter of judges deviating from actual guidelines and using their own sympathy and "mercy" on felons, which actually supports my original claim that the law isn?t as simple as its written out on paper. Whenever human beings are involved in anything, corruption is inevitable and sh*t gets complicated, I don?t care what is written on paper.

[Opinion Owner]

And again, I saw nothing in this article about rape charges or sexual assault

[sinful1620]

Yes. It's re-framed because our society treats women as though they never do anything bad. If you were to read the original study, all they said is that women receive lighter prison sentences. However, since feminism is the dominant culture in America, everyone conveniently ignores this. Oh and men being automatically found more guilty and receiving harsher prison sentences is the same thing as men not having equal rights.

[Opinion Owner]

I'm pretty sure it refrerenced another article for the explanation of why it happens. lol the article doesn't at all paint the picture that women do nothing wrong. the explanation was why they get off easy in some cases for christ sake. lol I think you just have serious issues with women, especially feminism which seems to cloud your mind from understanding basic concepts like sexism in society and how it affects EVERYONE. you are unwilling to see any side but your own.

[Opinion Owner]

being dumb is one thing, but willful ignorance because of your own hangups is infinitely worse.

[sinful1620]

And coming into a question of men saying they're victimized and completely changing the discussion to focus on women, thus blaming men for their behavior is yet another. I know it's tough to deal with being proven wrong, but what you're doing is pretty offensive, so f*** off.

[Opinion Owner]

Side note: I think there's a point to be made about the equality in situations like this, but the rights are there, meaning the laws are signed into action that prohibit this from happening. A huge part of the legal system are the people who enforce things, the individuals in charge, and they do not always treat cases with equality, obviously. (Which was my original point) this should make you somewhat sympathetic with struggles women go through. It's the same story.

[Opinion Owner]

I think its sad that you think you've proven anyone wrong and you don't seem to get my point anyway, so I can see this is pretty much a waste of time to try to reason with you. Have fun with all that pent up animosity. Good luck in life.

[sinful1620]

Right so everything revolves around women. That completely justifies you dropping into a discussion on how men get victimized and blaming us while diverting the discussion on men's rights. F***ing feminists.

[Opinion Owner]

lol I seriously think you might be a bit off mentally. Correct me if I'm wrong, but didn't YOU start talking about how women get off easy and men are a victim to the system, introducing the discussion of how BOTH are treated in prosecution? It's like the third comment down babe, check it out. And didn't YOU bring up the word feminist into the discussion? And didn't YOU post the article which attempts to describe why this happens, drawing attention to sexism at the hands of male judges toward women?

[Opinion Owner]

Theres no qestion that you can't erase history and that we are a society with heavily sexist roots, that's the world for ya. That fact is not going anywhere, no matter how much you want to hate feminists, we didn't create this society, okay? We didn't create sexism just so we have something to complain about. Its embedded in our culture and the point in situations like this is not that women are the center of the universe, but that sexism is a bad thing for everyone.

[sinful1620]

And you're sexist, condescending, and you can only focus on women. I'm not your "babe", so stop calling me that, you objectifying misandrist. Any discussion on gender implies that both genders are involved. If one's disadvantaged, the other is privileged. It still doesn't excuse you blaming the victim and coming here to ignore how men are victimized by being a self-important misandrist.

[Opinion Owner]

Not that I couldn't have made the same argument on my own, but I more or less just read the source that YOU directed me to and spit back information. That's all I did. Next time, why don't you find a more heavily biased source that doesn't address reasons why things happen from the objective consideration that sexism is a reality in the minds of many people. Then I can just say the same sh*t without you looking like the dumbass who gave me the gun to shoot you with, yeah?

[Opinion Owner]

lmao. How am I sexist? Please explain that to me.

[sinful1620]

Or you could understand that feminists are the only allowed voice on gender politics. Therefore everything that makes women get privileged gets dismissed and excused. Women getting lighter sentences means MEN get victimized, not women. It's just sad how blindly you think that only women are discriminated against that you warp something that obviously shown men getting discriminated against into being somehow an attack on women.

[Opinion Owner]

*sigh* you know what, I think I've said all I need to say for you to understand me if you really wanted to, but you don't. Like many "anti-feminists," your mind closed off to any argument I made when I declared myself a feminist. It's a natural reaction, to be fair. Tons of psychological tests have been done that show an "open mind", if you will, become heavily biased and "closed" once certain groups are mentioned. Conservatives, Liberals, or in this case, Feminists.

[Opinion Owner]

I think we will just agree to disagree, then. I can't try to reason with someone who is so angry and "offended" by facts that conflict with his emotions and sense of victimization. As I said before, you just aren't listening or considering a side other than your own.

[sinful1620]

Yes, we'll have to disagree that your opinions and interpretations are fact, the evidence both happening to myself and studies are opinion, and that you're not completely wrong on a blatantly offensive level for dismissing men's issues and diverting every discussion to women.

[jacquesvol]

Misogyny, link , easy to practice but difficult to write. : M-I-S-O-G-Y-N-Y.

[kmhco]

That is so horrible. I could never do that to someone.

[diabloknk]

I've been accused of sexual harassment/assault. It's a bit of a story.

I was working in a store during my college years. Anyway, there was one lady there, let's call her Hippo. I'm calling her Hippo because she is the size of a hippo. Anyway, she was an older woman in her late 30's or early 40's. To say she was physically unattractive is an understatement - she is the ugliest woman I have ever seen who is not flat out physically deformed. Just for the record, I thought this before she accused me of sexual harassment. She also had a fairly vapid personality - all she read was Cosmo and the only music she listened to was boy bands. Naturally, she was fairly lonely, as evidenced by her obsession with her sister's kids (it was unlikely she would ever have any of her own).

Anyway, Hippo would hit on every guy who started working there. Every single guy - she would hit on them. And later, she would spread rumors about how the flirted with her and so on and so forth. Happened to me, but of course nobody believed her, in part because she had been doing this for quite some time, and in part because she is flat out ugly.

Fast forward about 6 months. So I come in, and I hear that Hippo's been telling people that I've been grabbing her ass while we were both working at the counter. She had not told management this - just other employees. Again, nobody really believed her, but this pissed me off. Normally, she would have said something like a guy had asked her out, but she was accusing me of sexual harassment/assault, and trying to ruin my reputation.

I decided to go to the managers. I wrote a formal letter of complaint regarding defamation of character. They then talked to Hippo, and asked her why she had not notified management of any perceived case of harassment. She said she was unaware that it was an option. Then they asked her if she wanted to lodge a formal complaint against me, so that they could launch an investigation. She declined when she found out that the investigation would consist of them checking the video logs (the area was under constant video surveillance) - in large part because the videos would fail to show any evidence of her claims.

Anyway, after that, her hours were reduced to part-time status, and I never worked with her again. Eventually, she was transferred to another store, and shortly after I quit working at that company, I found out that she had been fired.

[Shaun]

Harassment doesn't always mean that you want to have sex with the person, calling people unattractive and creating a hostile work environment due to your issues with her appearance would also be harassment. No different that what she did to everyone there.

[diabloknk]

I never said sh*t to her before about her appearance. Did I think she was ugly? Yes. Did I go around calling her ugly? No. I was polite and professional all the way - until she accused me of grabbing her ass. At no point did I insult her or verbally abuse her - I treated her just like any other coworker.

[Shaun]

Where did I accuse you of anything?

[diabloknk]

The way you said it sounded like you were saying that I created a hostile work environment for her before she accused me of harassment. Did I create a hostile work environment for her? Maybe - but my actions were done to protect my reputation, and not to create a hostile environment. She was spreading false rumors about me, one of her employees, a clear violation of company policy, and I notified the managers of what she was doing. The hostile environment arose directly out of her actions.

[diabloknk]

As far as the whole "she's ugly" bit - nobody really believed the sh*t she said, and that was a large part of the reason. As for why I decided to inform the managers in that case - there was talk in management about firing her - and it seemed to me like she was trying to set up a harassment case against me in order to protect herself. I didn't want to be her fall guy.

[Shaun]

No, I was making the general point. I also take issue with calling people fat and ugly. I judge people based on their behaviors and attitudes not by the hand they were dealt in life as far as appearance goes. And if it was 'accepted' that she's fat and ugly and therefore lying, well then that means people have been talking about her in such a manner, which I view as creating a hostile environment. This is not to excuse her from her behavior which I see as separate.

[Lupianwolf]

It's never happened to me but that's so wrong that they did it, it's not right that some girls can just say that and because there a girl there automatically believed as true

[zickzack]

Never it was happen, maybe I have the right antenna for to be together with the right gilrs.

One word to your experience - Assenge!

[Shaun]

The penalty for filing a false report should equal the penalty for the crime itself.

[TheMisogynist]

Sounds good to me!