Why does she keep giving me blue balls?

[Anonymous]

My girlfriend and I had sex for the first time together last Friday. That was my first time ever, but she has had sex before. We have been together for about 5 months. She still lives with her parents because she just turned 18. So we can like never get anytime alone, because she won't/can't come over to my apt. So last night she gave me blue balls, and tonight. Since having sex I haven't wanted to jerk off because it's nothing like having sex. I HAD to tonight though or I think I would have gone crazy. Anyway, getting back to last night. She started giving me a BJ and then she jumped on top. I stop her for a second to but on a condom after like 3 or 4 mins. Once I opened the condom she freaked out and pulled her panties back up and pulled down her dress. She said that she heard her sister coming. She is 10 and walks into her room all the time. That was it...i was left like that. That's not the first time this has happened she does it all the time. She said I was great my first time. I mean I know I won't be amazing or anything because it was my first time, but she came and she clawed the f*** outta my back, actually drew blood. Now she is saying sorry to me (i'm texting her) saying that she doesn't want to disappoint me. And that she feels like my ex had a larger impact on my sex life than she will...wtf does that mean? I mean my ex and I did everything but sex, she sucked me off alot, we did anal. We just never actually has "sex". I told her who cares about my ex I'm with her not my ex. And she said she just wants to make me happy. And she does, I mean sex isn't everything but DAMN! lol she says just hates the idea of getting caught. I understand I do but I mean sh*t lol xD. We were able to do it last Friday because I was able to come over early in the morning before her sister woke up and after her parents went to work. I mean I don't know wtf to say or do. I want to make her happy and I'm not going to leave her, but I mean it sucks to have blue balls all the time. I fingered her tonight, she didn't seem to be too scared of that while I was doing that. She stopped me like once. I didn't let her do anything to me tonight because I didn't want a reply of the night before to happen. She asked me what she does that makes me happy. so being a good boyfriend (trying to still at this point) I told her just kissing her, her loving, her hugs, and just being with her makes me happy. Ladies can you give me any advice on this? I mean this is mostly just a vent, but if you have any advice please tell me.

[Chantie2812]

I think you really like the girl of course because in some cases some guys would be like f this ill get it from someone else. But just find somewhere else you guys can do it besides her house. Because it seems like nothing is getting accomplished there. Or just tell her its not all about sex, and if she doesn't get that ... I don't know maybe you should just move on or something because this situation sounds annoying.But I think its evil to give a guy blue balls and for my ex boyfriends in the past when it did happen I made sure I made it up to them :). But you will find a way to get through this.

[helppmeeee]

Its weird because its not like she is a virgin... I think you should cut all sexual contact, still kiss her but cut all the other stuff out. Once she misses it, she may re-think her actions. My boyfriend always came over when my parents were home and we always snuck it in, it might not have been super great but we still managed too because we both wanted too. I don't know what else to tell you, she is a strange one lol

[toulouse]

jerk off, she is not giving you anything. jerk off. your penis is your responsibility. you will son hate her, if you can not grasp that fact.

[toulouse]

soon* & You can take care of any discomfort yourself. So you are giving yourself blue balls by refusing responsibility towards your own pens. It is not her job. sex is a privledge. & you can jerk off, you know how you would just rather have sex. well, you are an adult. You should know to do what needs to be done, in favor of what you would 'rather' do. In addition, she sounds like something bothering her. I would have a talk with her about this. Not 'why won't you f*** me' -- 'what is bothering you'

[Asker]

o0o man lol...you sounds like something is bothering you. Yes, I do realize that it is my responsibility. Yes, I do know what needs to be done, no matter what I want, and I do what is needed. Yes, sex is a privledge. We have been together 5 months. The first 3 months she would come over my apt everyday during the week. I made her come 2 or 3 times a day for like 2 weeks. She didn't return the favor. I tried to get her to but she would leave me half way through. That's messed up.

[7gnat]

Don't ever talk about it. Don't initiaiate it. Act more aloof and cool and have fun with her. Act confident and cool and know that she wants to please you(state of mind). Oh and before every single encounter with her make sure you just rode the boloney poney with your best friend and lifetime pal rosiy palm.

[Asker]

Don't initiaiate it? Seriously? Come on lol

[7gnat]

Thats it exactly. You reek of desperation for her and she can feel it. DO NOT INITIATE IT. Act cool and confident and go out more by yourself. Be quick courteous and kind to her and say love you babe but act busy and don't always sit next to her and do not touch her so much. she will start to miss you even though you are around. that overused saying "distance makes the heart grow fonder" is almost always true

[Asker]

God I hate these little f***ing games. I have been thinking about trying that. Actually I have. She starts asking if she is ugly or something, and that she doesn't like it when I act like that because she likes it better when I'm more affectionate.

[7gnat]

Well you can be affectionate but(and I know it's difficult) do not be touchy feely. Be more aloof. Play it slow and act like you are not even thinking about sex. and you won't be that much after you choke the pulley

[Blobb]

Get a new girlfriend, or jack off :)

[Anonymous]

hmm maybe she's just nervous about getting caught? if there aren't any other problems in your relationship then that just might be what it is plain and simple. maybe talk to her about it. ask her if anything is wrong. or, you could always go to a hotel and have a romantic night that way you'd be alone.

[Anonymous]

BJ's and anal is sex. Jerk off if you need too. Geez.

[toulouse]

Agreed.