Do you think sex and love are separate things or belong together in one unit?

[Anonymous]

How do you see the two of them? Do you think love and sex belong together? Or not necessarily? I think girls are much likelier than the guy to get attached, that girls are more likely to link the two and start to feel something for the guy, even if the girl wants to just have random sex. I also used to think that sex would always lead to the girl feeling attached, but I don't think that is necessarily true anymore, especially if the girl was drunk at the time or it was an encounter with a stranger. On the other hand I think that the girl is very likely to get attached in a friends with benefits situation, or if it she had sex with a guy she sees on a regular basis, even if he is only an acquaintance. However I do think that for both guys and girls sex will be more enjoyable and special if it is with a person they love. What do you think? Is it different/more/less enjoyable with a person you love than a random fling?

[l-hedoniste]

Sex and love are very separate. EXTREMELY separate. So separate that a person who confuses the two is in serious need of correction.

"F*cking ain't love, love ain't f*cking." Say this every morning before leaving the house. I mean it, it'll save you a lot of headaches.

If it weren't for the brainwashing girls get, this would be obvious. Girls are taught very early that the *only* good sex is sex with someone you love. So a girl goes out, finds a d*ck she can't get enough of and says "I must be in love!"

Of course, she's totally wrong, as she discovers once she finds out that they have nothing in common except that they can screw the living daylights out of each other. So eventually they go their separate ways, and she figures she either didn't love him enough, or he didn't love her enough--also wrong.

The guy, note, knows immediately and instinctively what's going on: he's a good lay for her, she's a good lay for him, *and that's it*. He won't be foolish (or, more fairly, ill-taught) enough to drag love into a relationship where it doesn't belong. He knows he doesn't love her, every minute he knows, so he doesn't say it and he doesn't act like it. Even if it drives the girl up the wall--it usually does--it's the right thing to do. He cares about her enough to be honest.

Girls urgently need to deprogram themselves and learn what every 13-year old boy takes for granted: if his best trait is a tingling down low that he gives you, that's not love. A lot of fun? Hell, yeah! Love? Absolutely not.

[TheAnswerer]

I agree with what you said, but dude, calm down?

[kheserthorpe]

Both men and women can view sex and love separately.

Sex will tend to increase feelings of love for a man, although if those feelings don't exist, they won't create them.

Love will tend to increase desire for sex in a woman, although if the desire for sex wasn't there with that man to begin with, it won't create it.

Men's threshold for sexual attraction without love is much lower then for a woman. That simply relates to how we evolved, men could have tons of kids, women could only have a few, so if she was going to have sex with a guy who was NOT going to help raise the kids, he better have _awesome_ genetics. For a man, if a woman is the best looking woman he can have sex with in the next 20 minutes, from an evolutionary standpoint, its worth it.

[Anonymous]

I think now a days sex and love is separate but for my future relationships I want them to be together. I feel that they go hand and hand. Of all the guys I've ever dated there was one guy I thought I was in love with and I almost had sex with him. I'm usually very trusting but not with my body. So to keep this short I think they should go together, at least for me they should. I also think once you're in love with someone the sex will mean more.

[cun7n1nja]

They're definitely separate things. I enjoy sex by itself, but they're best and most satisfying when paired together. =]

[taster]

yes they r...

[Anonymous]

they can be separate or they can be together. it's not black and white

[TheAnswerer]

Well, of course sex is not love, and vice versa, and therefore they don't necessarily "belong" together, thoguh they can fit nicely to each other.

They are like milk and chocolate: You have to keep them in separate containers, don't you? They still go well with each other, but you need to know how to separate them from each other to store them more efficiently. (The refrigerator being your heart in this metaphor.)

It is VERY common to have sex without any feelings, and vice versa. However, I agree with one thing: When they are together, it does feel better.

Still, you need to be able to separate love from sex and vice versa, and accept them as two different things to eb able to combine them.

[Cheekynicko]

Sex and love are both much more intense and satisfying when they happen together. Thinking back to when I was younger and played the field more it was more about the feeling of being wanted and the excitement/energy of sex. Whereas in a long term relationship you know, or should know, you are wanted and loved. Sex then takes on a more intimate and knowing nature where you are expressing feelings for the other person.

I suppose outside of love sex is predominantly a selfish act for your own needs where as in love its selfless.

[AdamThomas]

"I think girls are much likelier than the guy to get attached, that girls are more likely to link the two and start to feel something for the guy, even if the girl wants to just have random sex."

You'd be surprised how a lot of the time it's completely the other way around and the guy is the one that falls for the girl, then puts her off.

I think it is better with someone I love yes, but I do fool around a lot while I'm single so I don't think you need to be in love to enjoy sex.

[taster]

They can be separate or they can be totally united as one...imo...relationships are more fulfilling and that is really the only viable option for me...mentally & physically...

[watuneed]

TOTALLY - you can have and enjoy sex with someone your not in love with, you might be physically/sexually attracted but not in love at all...