My Boyfriend collects photos of girls on FB, advice?

[Anonymous]

One time when my boyfriend was in the shower, I wanted to play a joke on him and put a funny picture I had found online set to his background. I saved the photo, and it automatically put it in a folder with photos. As I opened this folder, I found a HUGE collections of girls from FB including his friends & my friends. immediately I felt like sh*t. I looked at the photos near the beginning of this folder, and some of the pics were of girls he collected BEFORE we were even dating. so that kind of made me feel better, because it wasn't like he started to do this after we dated.. but there were a bunch that were after we started dating. I confronted him about it, and he lied to me and said that it was back when his "internet was down". I said.. bullsh*t, cause a bunch of the photos in that folder were NEW photos recently posted by girls on Facebook. major f***ing turn off right? I kind of get over it though.. I figured it was just a habit, since he had started to do it before we were dating. he said he would delete them, and we would just move on 2nd time.. I find it AGAIN. complete accident too. I had to print a paper for class, and I don't have a printer, so I would use his. I had to download my file from e-mail and it automatically put it in a folder, SAME f***ING THING HAPPENED AGAIN. we talked about it. he cried to me saying "its just something I've always done, I just like looking at girls" which I can understand because that's how guys operate, but WHAT THE f*** dude. its so creepy.. he then said he would seriously stop doing it because he could see how hurt I was and doesn't want to hurt me anymore and THEN this is the weirdest part.. i had to borrow his flashdrive for a project. sure enough. mad pics of girls were on there. like.. he did that to further hide it from me. & then.. i went to the bathroom in the middle of the night while my boyfriend was out playing vid games in the living room. I walk into the living room and I see him creeping on girls and he saw me and shut the comptuer. its like any chance he gets that's all he does is creep and find girls on fb or on the internet. don't get me wrong, I get that guys are attracted to girls, that's nature.. but isn't it a LITTLE f***ing aggressive that he is CONSTANTly doing that on the internet? he's jerking off to pics of girls he has previously hooked up with, finds hot (who are our FRIENDS). here are my theories 1) that's just his fetish. that gets him off the best when he's beating the meat 2) he's a f***ing creep what I can't stop thinking about is.. if it were a real life situation, and one of those girls were down to f***.. would he do it?

[Anonymous]

Well, i just had the same situation unfortunately this happened after we were just about to celebrate our 2 year anniversary. I've always called him a creep because he would search for specific girls on instagram, fb, and even snapchat specific girls and not me. i didn't want to control his life i just constantly let him know that i felt uncomfortable about it and texting girls in a flirtatious manner. this would lead to huge arguments because he had done some off topic shady things before but ultimately i would apologize for starting them and my attitude because i had no proof that he was a legit creep. i also thought i would be funny to snap some photos of him sleeping to i went to his camera and saw the one picture on the bottom left hand side of the phone of an internet meme, i picked it and to my total surprise he had a folder with numerous pictures of this beautiful girl that we both know and he's friends with her boyfriend whom i know. the pictures were specifically about her body, and he had to do some serious searching for him to find exactly those. i got up collected my things and walked away i always knew it was true but never thought i would find out like that. i was hoping i was just a normal girl with trust issues. we broke up temporarily and those following days he really made an effort to apologize. i forgave him and were working on it. I don't know if hell stop but ill find out just to be able to say that i didn't give up. so don't give up , try to fix it because it is most definitely... after all this time i still think about it. but my boyfriend and i have a deal. he keeps everything unlocked no passwords no deleting history and i check his phone whenever, random, he can't say no. but i feel its not enough. guys are creeps if he doesn't change don't waste your time we are super young we will always move on its human nature.

[queenofpeen]

Jeez, that would freak me out a bit, too. Do the pictures have to be of girls he knows, or would he be happy jerking off to p*rn? If it has to be of friends/acquaintances, yeah, I'd say it's just a fetish that he's developed and become "addicted" to. I mean, he cried about it, so he probably knows that it's weird and might feel really guilty about it, but he doesn't think he can quit. Have you talked about it more than just that one time? Maybe if you sit down with him and talk to him about it, you two can figure out something else he can do while masturbating, something less hurtful to you. Does he have any pictures of YOU?

About your last question, I don't think this necessarily means he would cheat on you. Fantasies are fantasies, I don't think it means he'd be unfaithful.

[Asker]

it doesn't have to be of girls he knows. but there were 100s of them. some of them he had pulled from offline of just hot girls. just makes me feel really weird that he's jerking it to girls we know.. cause obviously he wants to bang them. he said to me that he doesn't actually want to.. its just a "visiual stimulus" and no he doesn't have any pics of me, I think that would be weird lol.

[queenofpeen]

Why would that be weird? Then he might jerk off to you instead of other girls, haha. That's what I did for my boyfriend when I found out he used pictures of nude girls for masturbation, and now he uses my pictures more than others (he still has others, but it's not a big deal). It's true that it's just a visual aid. Guys are more visual than most girls, so it's hard for us to understand :P

[Asker]

im not too sure why I would thikn it is weird. I guess I'd just rather him masturbate to p*rn, and hot models cause that's what that is for. but for him to jerk off to girls that we KNOW. its just like.. so weird. its so hard being at parties and I see those girls and I just know that's what he is thinking..

[TheAnswerer]

1) That's just his fetish. That gets him off the best when he's beating the meat.

However, it still is... out of the ordinary.

May be he has done it for so long that it's almost impossible for him to stop doing it (sort of a psychological addiction)?

An alternate theory is that he has some kind of psychological disease and can't resist looking at (or masturbating to) anything that moves.

Please don't push him about this, since it is obviously not changing anything.

However, you need to make up your mind: Can you live with this?

Don't expect him to change his behavior. You decide whether you want to keep going like this or not.

[Asker]

what really bothers me though is how he looked at me in the face and said he truly won't do that anymore because he knows how much it hurts me. and then he hides it on his flash drive.. the fact that he is okay with lying to me to my face, doesn't that show a red flag that he could physically cheat on me, and not tell me about it... or do you think he is just embarassed about it? cause I would be too if I was him and I got caught..

[TheAnswerer]

It doesn't necessarily mean he would cheat on you. I think he did believe that he could stop doing this when he told you he would stop, but in the end he realized he can't live without it or something (supporting the theory of psychological disorder). I think he's embarassed about it and that he might need help to get over this.

[Anonymous]

I do the same thing as your boyfriend, not all the time but I do have lots of pictures saved of women I've known over the years and worked with. Sometimes guys like to fantasize about real women instead of fake looking and acting p*rn girls so that's why I have the pictures saved. I'm not a creep and women don't seem like they think I'm creepy.

[Asker]

well if you had a girlfriend, and still did this, would you cheat on your GF? or is it STRICTLY for masterbatin?

[Opinion Owner]

No I have never cheated. There is a difference between fantasizing and reality. I don't think you can understand since guys and girls are so different but guys think about sex every two minutes of the day. I've even thought about what sex would be like with women I'm not attracted to lol. Guys are full of hormones and we're stimulated by what our eyes see so looking at pictures of girls is equal to a woman using a vibrator to get off while she masturbates, it's just masturbation.

[SunSeeker]

That's kinda creepy. I'd much rather be screwing my girl that looking at girls I wish I could be screwing.

[05Jueey]

You definitely have a right to be super uncomfortable

[salsa_shark]

LOL that's one of the creepiest things I've ever read. Wow.

[Anonymous]

I would be creeped out to find out that some guy had saved one of my pictures from Facebook to his computer.

[Anonymous]

haha, this is pretty damn funny. I guess just tell him straight. that'd be awkward haha. serves him right really for being a perve!