I lost my virginity and now I feel empty...?

[Anonymous]

About a week ago I lost my virginity, I barely knew the guy and didn't like him at all except a physical attraction. A couple days later I found out he had a girlfriend and I blocked him from Facebook and I'm making sure to keep away from him. I feel so empty and lonely. I understand when you have sex with someone it releases a chemical to make you feel emotionally attached to the person and I just want it to go away. What should I do? I really don't want to feel this way anymore I feel so alone. How do I get over this whole thing and move on? I didn't even like the guy and yet I feel like my heart was crushed. Thank you :)

[bassplayerguy]

Unfortunately, we can't go backwards. It is sad that there are some guys out there that feel that a girl's virginity is somethingg that they should want to take. I have been with several girls who have not been with a guy before, and I make sure, asking them numerous times before penetration, "Are you sure this is what you want?" or "Are you sure you want it to be me who takes your virginity?"

But, what's done is done. Now you need to heal. Take care of yourself. Talk to a mature, older person whom you can confide in and talk about your feelings.

Do not rush into another "hook up" to try to forget. Before you enter another relationship, make sure you harbor no ill feelings towards the cheating piece of garbage that lied to you.

[Asker]

We weren't dating I don't know if I should be happy about that or upset.

[l-hedoniste]

What were your expectations going in? Did you him to be exclusive? Did he lead you on?

We're all responsible for our emotional safety, for meeting our own needs. If you need a guy to be committed only to you, that's the sort of thing you need to be up-front and honest about, in advance. That way, a person can be up-front and honest with you about whether they are prepared to give you what you need.

[Asker]

I was basically forced.

[fitandflirt]

1. it's not when you have sex, it's when you orgasm. just, fyi. the more you know.

2. you can't do anything about what you did, but know that virginity is culturally created. it only has the meaning we ascribe to it.

3. going forward, just make sure your sexual experiences are more positive. try to figure out what you'll want from future sexual encounters and make sure you won't feel like you do.

in terms of feeling better... it's different for everyone. just try to remind yourself it happened, it's over, and you can either move on and do things you enjoy to take your mind off of it or you can dwell on it and probably make things worse for yourself.

[Asker]

Thanks for the answer but actually it's during sex too not just orgasm that's why the new drug they made is called the cuddling drug because the chemical is released during anything intimate.

[fitandflirt]

as far as I know, that's not true. do you have a source? i took biology. the hormone oxytocin is released during orgasm, ergo why it's called 'the bonding hormone'; it's also released during labor but that's irrelevant.

[Asker]

Go on google and look it up lol. As far as I know it's during anything intimate.

[Lizzy8512]

One of my friends hooked up with a guy once and then found out he had a girlfriend, she found his girlfriend on Facebook and apologized and told her what happened and she felt better after that because she could say sorry and also warn the girl of the cheating boyfriend. It might help you with the attraction you have with him now.

[Asker]

I have no idea who is girlfriend is it isn't listed on Facebook and it would just cause a lot of sh*t.

[IslandDub]

hobby? learn an instrument? go surfing?

[Asker]

or learn to play the drums! :)

[IslandDub]

ye fsho. get out some aggression. it's expensive though... probably the most expensive instrument to learn.

[Asker]

it's pretty sexy though.