Boyfriend Pressure!

soo me and my boyfriends have been going out for 5months and we already say we love each other. I told him I was a virgin when we first met and he was cool with it. *hes not a virgin tho* and he has been really sweet about it up until now. now he keeps pressuring me into doing it wit him and using the fact that I say I love him against me and saying "well if you love me then we'd make love." I love him, I really do but.idk what should I do?


Most Helpful Guy

  • TeddyGram28z I like your name. :-) I can understand exactly what you're saying because it's so hard for a girl to be a virgin now days so I give you so much credit for trying to stay as long as you can. It sounds like you guys have such a sweet relationship, and it's too bad that since he was cool with your being a virgin when you first started going together that he's starting to pressure you now to have sex with that old excuse, " that since we love each other it's ok now." Being a virgin is something to be admired but not many girls can stay one until they get married because that just wasn't one of their goals. Just rethink the reason you decided to stay a virgin this long, and if it's something you want to be when you get married to offer your husband then you'll just have to tell him or else he'll never stop pressuring you. The fact that he's had sex before will make him less understanding unless he's truly interested in you. and you in him. Only you can decide the circumstances that will allow you to not wait any longer, whether it's getting married or having a relationship where you have the love, trust and commitment that you want before you'll give yourself to a man. If this is what you decide, don't let any guy take from you what you cherish so much. Apply this reasoning with the boyfriend you have now, and if he's not the right guy or you don't know yet, then wait until he is or until you're going with one that is. Don't feel bad with any decision you make. If he truly loves you, he'll honor your wishes and he'll be around to reap the benefits. I hope this helps.


What Guys Said 2

  • "if you love me then we'd make love"

    This is a very old trick, and a very dirty one. It's also utterly false.

    Love can never be an excuse for blackmailing people into doing things they don't want. Tell him that if he loved you, he wouldn't rush you for sex, because he knows how bad this makes you feel.

    Now the really hard news: if he absolutely needs sex with someone, it would be best to give him space to go find that person.


What Girls Said 7

  • He needs to know how wrong it is to pressurize you into something you are not ready for, I would turn the boat and say if you really cared you would not pressurize me, because this is manipulation, its not good for you and its unhealthy.

  • If your not ready, your not ready simple as, if he can't get he's head around that then he's a well jerk off and if he says he loves you back, he wouldn't pressure you at all if your not ready no matter how much you love him.

    Dont do it unless YOU want to, not him!

  • hunni, this boy is not worth your time. Believe me. I'm a virgin, but I've dated a few guys who aren't, but they never pressured me to do anything. You will always remember your first time, you want to do it with someone, because you want to, not because they do. You need to tell him, that you are not ready yet, You are not even 18, hunni I'm 18 and I got my first kiss this year. (I just wanted to really really like the guy I gave my first kiss to)

    Don't feel pressured, there are plenty of girls that I go to school (college) with they are still virgins. Don't ever let a boy pressure you, especially by using the "if you loved me you would", Hunni you are worth more than that. You will find Mr. Right, and when you do, then its up to you when you choose to give your virginity away. It's a big deal. Just talk to him, tell him that you love him, but you're not ready for that yet, if he really loves you, he will respect that. Good luck!

  • If you don't want to do it, don't. You'll just regret it and it'll be a crappy experience, very anti-romantic. I know it's kind of cliche to give an answer like "value yourself and he'll value you." because he might very well not value you. The real answer is, "value yourself and if he has a problem with it, he needs some growing up to do and you're better off without him." Plenty of other fish in the sea and lots of time to date. Why shouldn't your first time be fantastic for you too?



  • if he keeps pressuring you to doit and you don't want to he is not worth your time I whould brake up with him

  • that, my friend, means that he is being immature and only wants you for sex. tell him that you are not ready and if he can't deal with that then he needs to hit the road. yes, he will probably break up with you, but that just means that I was right about him only wanting you for sex. if he really loves you then he wouldn't pressure you into it, especially if you are a virgin. it sounds like he just wants to add another notch in his headboard.